Taimi
So, just how do you define a hookup? Actually, there are all kinds of them. You might hook up with a friend for lunch or with a group of friends for happy hour. And of course, there is hooking up with someone for sex. And, yes, it’s common at Pride celebrations.
So, as a single going to Pride, you have planned for potential hookups. You’ve packed all the right gear for safety and fun and are ready to meet new people, make new friends, and find others looking for casual sexual romps.
What do you not want? Drama.
You don’t want a hookup to think that, because you had some great sex, you are now theirs for the rest of Pride (and maybe even beyond). It’s not what you signed up for at all.
So, how do you keep hookups drama-free? Here are a few suggestions on whether that hookup is for a single encounter or for the entire stay at Pride.
So, where is this sex hook-up going to take place? Your digs or theirs? For safety purposes, you may prefer your place rather than theirs, unless you are at the same hotel. Then it will matter far less.
On the other hand, if you go to their place, it will be much easier to extricate yourself from the scene than to be pushing them out your door.
Another thought. If your encounter will include more than just two people, there is safety in numbers. And the chances for keeping things more casual are greater.
Use your own condoms, dental dams, and toys. You cannot rely on this person you just met to have top-quality and fully clean gear.
This is not the time to talk about your childhood, your struggles at work, your parent’s divorce, or your last failed relationship. These are things you share with close friends of a possible serious partner. The town you grew up in? Your favorite movies or books? Your dog? All of this stuff is just fine. And for God’s sake – don’t be a peacock, strutting your many accomplishments, your investment successes, etc.
The more personal information you share, the greater the impression that you are looking for a partner, not a hookup.
Another important point – don’t start this hookup out with a suggestion that you go for a sit-down dinner or to the movies. This is a date with sex to follow, not a hookup.
So, maybe you are enjoying this hookup. It’s fun, safe, and satisfying. You decide to continue the hookup for the whole time you are at Pride. Here’s where things can get a bit complicated.
You don’t want this squeeze to get the impression that this is a relationship in the making once the festivities come to an end.
Time to set some boundaries. Be upfront about the fact that you are only looking for casual sex and make sure they are cool with that too. Especially if you are seeing each other during the day festivities too.
Just be certain that you’re on the same page that this ends when Pride ends and maybe you’ll see each other next year.
Breakfast the next morning involves an intimacy that suggests more in a relationship. As does staying in bed and watching movies while ordering takeout delivery. That’s what you do when you want a relationship. As soon as it seems appropriate, leave or have an excuse why they must leave like you are meeting friends.
Pride is over, and it’s time for the two of you to part. Getting “sloppy” can be really awkward. Sure, it’s fine to share an Uber to the airport but stop with the longing looks and the hand-holding till you must part. Send them off with a cheerful goodbye and go to your gate. And if you have exchanged phone numbers, email addresses, or become friends on social media, don’t initiate or respond to calls or texts until you feel comfortable and ready.
You don’t want to give the impression that your hook-up was anything more than casual. When and if you do respond, keep it casual and very sporadic. Treat them like a friend, not a relationship.
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