Finding compatibility in the bedroom can be a challenge for gay men in a new relationship. If you are in one, it is unique and different from all of those that have gone before. Accept this and know that finding compatibility between those sheets may be challenging. Both of you have had prior sexual experiences and these must be seen as unique to those relationships. Compatibility in this new one may take some work. Here are some tips that should help both of you experience the pleasure you seek.
Make It a Team Effort
You need time to explore one another’s bodies and get to know what will give arousal and pleasure to each other. This is the first step. Don’t focus on getting an orgasm at this point. It’s an exploration. If either or both of you actually reach orgasm (it can happen if it’s been a long dry spell), that’s great. But don’t delude yourself into thinking that this initial orgasm means full sexual compatibility. It’s lust, not compatibility.
Communication is a Must
Each time you get into bed, you can try new techniques and methods. This is so much a part of the fun of a new relationship – experimentation. During these experiments, it’s important to talk to each other, honestly and openly. Faking pleasure because you think it will make your partner happy is a big “no-no.” Just don’t do it. Remember your partner is as committed to pleasuring you as you are to him. If both of you are not honest and genuine, the sex will never be great.
Talk About Your Prior Experiences
If you are both going to find the right solutions to your bedroom compatibility issues, then you do need to talk about your previous relationships, and both your emotional and physical involvements. A lot of what happens physically can be a result of what is “between the ears” not between the legs. Both of you need to talk about your emotional connections with your former partners, as well as the physical activities that worked and did not work. Were there some relationship issues that carried over to the bedroom? Have you been a bit traumatized because your previous partner cheated on you? Was the breakup a difficult one? Were there compatibility issues in the bedroom? All of these things can affect a new relationship. The more you willingly discuss your previous experiences, the more you can talk about how to avoid those same issues in this one.
Make Sex a Comfortable and Safe Topic Outside the Bedroom
Couples who can talk about their sexual needs and wants outside the bedroom have a higher chance of getting to satisfaction in the bedroom. Not that these conversations have to occur publicly of course. But there should be comfort over coffee or lunch at a café or while walking or hiking – any time and place where the two of you are alone and engaged in any other activities. It means that talking about your mutual needs is natural and normal. This can ultimately create a far more relaxed environment in the bedroom.
Do Some Research Together or Watch Some Gay Porn
Both of you have those previous sexual experiences and behaviors with previous partners. One way to get beyond all of those and make your relationship unique and special would be to try new things. Do some research on different positions, methods, and techniques that neither of you has done before. There are lots of books and articles to help. Check out the blog at Taimi.com for some related articles.
Watching gay porn together can also be a powerful stimulant as well as provide new techniques to try. Get naked, lie together, relax, and fire up those films. Chances are, you’ll fire up your sex life too.