All of us have certain activities that we engage in to give us a pleasurable experience. After a stressful day, for example, we may stand under a nice hot shower and relax our mind and body.
We might practise Yoga to get to peace or to help us sleep better; some of us might listen to our favorite music to give us a happy mindset and energy; or have a sound machine to mimic ocean waves or rain when we want to relax. Some of us even go to the gym for a hard workout, get those endorphins kicked in and just feel great the rest of the day; and some of us get lots of highs from our sex activity and the amazing after-glow.
What all of this means is that we have triggers in our lives that bring us pleasure.
That's a mouthful, isn't it? Probably the reason that it has been shortened to an acronym - ASMR. And what exactly does autonomous sensory meridian response mean? Well, it's actually pretty understandable. In fact, you may even have experienced it without knowing you have.
In short, autonomous sensory meridian response is a tingling that begins at the back of your head (most often your scalp) and travels down the back of your neck and onto the spine. Sometimes it goes further down the body too. It creates a kind of euphoric feeling that is really pleasant and can put a person into a mild, short-lived trance-like state. It commonly occurs during a person's waking hours, depending on triggers that are unique to each individual.
Because they cause this euphoria, people who have them want to experience them often. This has given rise to thousands of ASMR-related videos on YouTube. Once someone learns their trigger(s) they can just pull up those related videos and have their own triggered responses anytime. It's really a great way to help you relax during a stressful day or situation.
Potentially, we do. But the thing is, not everyone will find their triggers and may not even spend a lot of time looking for them.
Are there common triggers that most people experience?
In truth, there are none. Each person has their own ASMR triggers, some have several, and many have none because not everyone finds theirs.
In general, though, autonomous sensory meridian responses can be visual (something you see), auditory (something you hear), or tactile (something you physically feel), according to some researchers.
What has become a phenomenon in the bedroom has been the use of ASMR as a prelude to sex.
So, let's talk about ASMR sex.
The best way to understand ASMR sex is to begin by understanding that there are two types of erotic arousal, physical and mental. They are very different.
Think about what arouses you sexually. Here are some common trigger responses:
Viewing YouTube videos of sexy people, people having sex, or nude bodies
Reading sizzling sex stories
Having a sex-related or erotic fantasy
Erotic Stimulation with fondling or sex toys
Fondling a sex partner and getting wet or hard
This type of turn-on is stimulation that gets you ready for sex. They can be accompanied by a faster heart rate, heavier breathing, and a definite physical urge. They are not subtle at all.
An autonomous sensory meridian response is different - it is a subtle matter and results in a totally different type of sensation and pleasure. ASMR stimulants can be lots of things, but the results are the same - a relaxing feeling of peace and euphoria that occurs before sex.
As Caroline West, Ph.D. sex psychologist says, ASMR erotica "...doesn't involve any specific positions or new moves, but rather, it's all about finding a trigger that turns you on...That could be anything from a soft whisper to the sensation of someone running their hands over your skin. It's a trial-and-error process." So, let's look at some of the stimulants that can cause ASMR erotica and a feeling of connectedness and intimacy with another person:
As stated, ASMR triggers can be visual, auditory, or tactile - here are some examples:
sounds of hearing a shower run
the sounds of people having sex
a softly spoken or whispering voice
a repetitive simple sound, like someone turning the pages of a book they are reading
a crinkling sound off some type - paper, tin foil
certain types of music
repetitive sounds, such as tapping, clicking of the tongue
sounds of someone blowing into a microphone
listening to pre-recorded ASMR videos with the trigger
Auditory triggers are some of the most common because there are so many different sounds that cause these responses
watching someone complete a common task - making food, sweeping the floor, etc.
viewing someone completing a repetitive activity - putting glasses on and off, crossing their legs, running their fingers through their hair, etc.
watching raindrops fall on a window
watching ASMR videos with your identified stimulants
seeing different light patterns
watching YouTube videos that mimic some of the most common triggers
giving or getting a head massage
tapping fingers on something
tapping or drawing on a partner's body as a prelude to sex
touching your own face or having someone else touch your face
While the type of tingling sensation that comes from ASMR was not originally associated with sex life, it has come to be. What people have discovered is that if they can have an ASMR experience prior to intercourse, then they are better ready and enjoy all of the physical sensations even more.
As a prologue to sexual activity, ASMR brings about a calm and tingling sensation throughout your body. It's a totally different type of turn-on. You feel almost blissful as you let that trigger mesmerize you. It might be your partner whispering fantasies into your ear; it might be watching your partner unbutton a blouse or shirt; it might be erotic ASMR sounds of your auditory responses that you are playing - different sounds are stimulants for different people, so be sure you both play erotic ASMR sounds that are stimulants for both of you. Adding ASMR physical gestures may also be a trigger for one or both of you. Be sure you use those skin touches, massages, light scratching, etc. on your partner's body if that works for them. All of this ASMR erotica can make intercourse more intimate and satisfying.
Once you both are in that blissful state, you can begin your physical sexual experience, and it is bound to be a far more pleasurable one coming from that trance-like state.
Aye, here's the rub. If you have never experienced an ASMR trigger (and you will know if you have), then you will have to experiment a bit. The same goes for your partner. Remember, an ASMR is not a sex thing. It is a sensation that goes through your entire body and gives you a non-sexual experience that is almost like a drug.
Finding yours and your partners will take some experimentation. You can begin by taking a look at some of the common stimulants from real-life covered in this article. Try those out and see if you get the sensation that is described. Maybe it's the sound of oral sex or other oral activity - licking, for example; maybe it's a sound of running water or ocean waves; maybe it's ASMR videos with visuals of walking through a field of hay or into the ocean; maybe it's the sensation of your partner nipping on your ear lobe, scratching your back or whispering into your ear; perhaps its fantasies that you conjure up that put you into that trance-like state of mind. You might even experience ASMR by watching someone eating a piece of fruit or a gooey candy bar. You'll know when it hits and the mental pleasure grabs you.
But don't be selfish. Your partner needs to get ASMR responses too. Talk to your partner. Explore the possibilities for them too. The ultimate bedroom satisfaction is for both of you. While there are some people who do not have ASMR, most people do if they can find them.
While your sexual health and satisfaction don't depend upon ASMR sex life, it is certainly one of those things that can make it additionally pleasurable. In fact, once a person experiences ASMR and the intercourse that follows, they will not want to go without it. As said before, it's a brain thing that prepares the body with feelings of relaxation and calm that cannot be equaled. Some people even call it a brain orgasm. And it can then lead to an amazing sexual experience, with more intimacy. ASMR sex just combines mind and body in a special way.
Obviously, you don't want to take paper to crinkle in bed or add to your water bill by running your shower while you are having intercourse, but you can bring your erotic ASMR into the bedroom by downloading and playing videos dedicated to any specific trigger(s) that you and your partner have identified. They are all over YouTube. They have ASMR content of every kind. If you watch or listen to those that have the same content as your ASMR responses, you can get that same euphoria. If your responses are visual, then check out Getty images, copy them, and bring them up on your phone to trigger your erotic ASMR feelings and relaxation. If you need tactile stimulation and sensations, then you and your partner can take care of this - heavy breathing, whispering, tapping, fulfillment of fantasies, touching or tapping on the skin, etc. ASMR sex can be brought into the bedroom in many ways.
Yes, it is. Autonomous sensory meridian response began as just a phenomenon that researchers began to look at in 2007. ASMR sex as a related story came later. And those who use it discover that a more intimate experience can be had through ASMR sex.
Taimi is free to download. Taimi Premium subscription provides access to features unavailable or limited in the free version of the app.