Lesbian Shower Sex - Can It Work?

Last Updated 03.05.2022
8 min read

As toddlers, we were all given baths. We had toys to play with, sometimes bubbles, and the time was mostly pleasant unless that dreaded hair washing got soap into our eyes. We probably remember bath time as largely pleasant though, supervised by mom, of course.

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As we got older and were finally allowed to bathe without mom supervision, we graduated to showers. Somehow, they just felt cleaner, and since we no longer had the need to play with toys, they were so much quicker. We did have those shower radios, though, and some of us still do, along with tools for exfoliation, shaving, and such.

But what about shower sex? We've all seen it in the movies. Most of this is heterosexual, although some involve threesomes (that would be a real squeeze). While these film depictions of shower sex are clearly erotic and turn-ons, in real life, showers are not the ideal place for sex.

Ryan Yates, in her article, "Why Lesbian Shower Sex is Like Dante's Inferno," describes the activity in these words, "You start off in limbo, waiting forever for the water to warm up. You walked by some aesthetic succulents on your way into the bathroom, but you might as well have passed through gates that prominent sign, 'abandon hope, all ye who enter here.'" She goes on to explain all that can go wrong as you face this experiment.

Downsides of Shower Sex

Think about it. A shower provides little more room than a couch, and at least on a couch, you can get horizontal. But there are other negatives too.

  1. "Slippery When Wet." This is a sign we see all over the place - on roads and in stores when floors have been mopped. The same goes when there is water on a shower floor.

  2. Need to brace yourself. At least one hand will be needed to brace yourself against a wall if you are standing. This can limit all that you might want to do during sex

  3. Can't be used just for foreplay. Foreplay and physical displays of affection can be real turn-ons in the shower. But, if you get out to have actual sex, you are both wet and will have to dry off. This can decrease the spontaneity of the moment, and you may have to begin the foreplay all over again.

  4. Need to purchase special equipment. This might include special grip bars and a shower seat - products that will

So, can lesbians figure it out and really enjoy it? Some say yes; others say lesbian shower sex is just an exercise in frustration.

If you're "game" to try shower sex, these tips might make it work for you.

Tips for Lesbian Shower Sex

Lesbian sex is all about hands and mouths and maybe some toys. And water is just the added factor. But adding that water in a shower environment will take some versatility and some prep. The first experience may not be a good one - it's not easy. But if you have decided that you really want to make a go of it, then stick with it and take a look at these tips to make that "party" a fun and sexually satisfying experience. Read on.

Start with a Clean Shower

If this is your first event, take some time to prep by fully cleaning your new sex environment. Nothing is worse than one or both you being on a dirty, disgusting shower floor. That will truly kill the great anticipation of your love party. And cleaning includes every wall too. Remember this: you wouldn't get excited about having sex in a bed with dirty sheets - ugh! Your sex in the shower shouldn't be any different. Your energy spent cleaning will be well worth it.

Make Sure the Water is Good and Warm

Especially when the weather is cold, take the time to make sure the water is plenty warm before you step into that shower. This is one of the most important things if you expect to find satisfaction - nothing turns an excited thought of sex into a "thanks but no thanks" like a cold and uncomfortable environment. And remember this too: If you have to wait until the water turns warm enough, you'll have more time for foreplay in a bathroom that is getting steamy.

Consider a Double Shower Head

These are easy to find in any big-box home improvement store or online. Read about them and get the information you need as you search and find one within your budget. The idea behind the double shower head is that both of you can have your own stream as you wash yourselves or each other. And here's a thought. If those showerheads are detachable, you can employ them for a number of things. If you are in the shower alone for your own pleasure, you can use one of the heads to stimulate your own clit and vagina; if you are with your date or partner, you can each use one to stimulate the other.

Use Other Equipment Aids

These were mentioned above but are worth repeating. If you have decided to go full-on into sex in the shower, you will have to have some specialized equipment. It's not like hetero sex that involves one partner leaning against a wall and the other penetrating or one partner bending over against the side of the tub and being penetrated from behind. Lesbian sex is different. The partners must search for physically safe positions where they can use hands, tongues, and toys so that both can reach orgasm. This will take a lot of experimentation, so once you have realized that the first time has not been ideal, think about the things that can be purchased - the bars, a top-notch floor mat, a seat, etc.

About Those Toys

If you have used toys in the past and they have been a big part of your sexual relationship, then you have probably realized that they would be exciting to use for love in the shower too. You have plenty of company within the LGBTQ+ community. But you need to be sure to get the right kind. Visit a sex toy store or look for information online until you have found the right ones. They must be water-proofed, especially those that are battery-operated. And here's one of the important benefits about those toys. Love moves can be easy in your new environment because they do not require getting into gyrated positions.

And About Those Lubes...

There are a lot of lubes out there and you and your partner may have found the perfect ones that you both enjoy. But water changes this up. Water-based lubes may be fine when you start off but do eventually wash off during that shower sex. Using silicone-based lubes will keep their constitution, but they can also fall onto the shower floor and make things far more slippery. This is where a really good non-stick shower mat will be a safety need. As you look for lube products, make sure you get the right ones.

Lesbian Shower Sex Requires Experimentation

You may have had showers during which you have masturbated while standing in that shower. You have had experience with the pleasure that those orgasms can bring as you wash and get rid of the remnants of that self-induced orgasm. It is only natural, then, that you want to experiment with such sexual activity with a partner. So how do you get the information you need to figure out how it can be done? Well, first you have a community of other lesbians who have had shower sex and can pass on the benefits of their experience. Be sure to access that community for what they can pass on to you. From their experiences and advice, you will benefit before you get in that shower with a partner yourself. The biggest challenge will be how to have safe shower sex while standing, sitting, or in any of the positions that may be recommended:

  • both of you can face each other in that warm, cozy shower and finger bang one another

  • try doggy-style finger banging or use a toy to get your partner off

  • how about oral shower sex with one of you standing and one of you kneeling on the floor of the shower

  • A "69" position may be a challenge but can be a possibility if both of you are willing to get on the floor, gyrate your bodies, and enjoy the feel of a warm stream caressing your bodies as you do it. This is certainly not the time to face the challenges of your hairstyle. Lesbian sexual experiences under streaming water are not about outward physical appearances - it is about letting warm hydration lull you into great sex.

Remember this: shower sex for lesbians may be challenging, but once you start to experiment and enjoy it, you may just add this new water sex to your repertoire, whether standing, supporting yourself against a wall, or using your ace and tongue to bring each other to bliss.

Are You Ready?

Many members of the lesbian community have enjoyed the rights that they now have to engage in the types of lovemaking that they enjoy. There are no more stigmas applied to their romantic and sexual rights, and their gender identity is no longer housed in the language of mental illness or immoral behavior. They can live openly and freely and experiment with sex as they wish. So why not have sex with the addition of water? Certainly, there are plenty to read on the whole matter, including several novels related to lesbian love and sex on the water. Why not try it? The worst case scenario is that you decide it is a bit like "Dante's Inferno."

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