Forced Orgasm: A Guide for BDSM Enthusiasts

Last Updated 20.10.2022
127 min read
Taimi

If you are here to learn more about forced orgasms because your partner suggested them, you probably know that they are part of BDSM play. If not, you may be concerned that forced orgasm is assault. In this case, rest assured that it absolutely is not.

Post main image

Instead, forced orgasm is a form of sexual play that is fairly common in the role-play scene. Here, we will discuss what it is and what it is not. You can also read further to learn more about how to incorporate forced orgasm in a way that involves both pleasure and consent.

Content warning: Even though the descriptions below refer to consensual acts, they may be upsetting for some readers. Please know that despite the fact that all scenarios involve consent, and any elements of physical force or coercion are part of role play, this content may be traumatizing for some to read.

What is a Forced Orgasm?

Forced orgasms occur when a dominant partner brings the submissive partner to orgasm in a way that involves power exchange role play. This doesn't involve an actual lack of consent or truly forcing someone to do something against their will. Instead, it is a way of acting out sexual fantasies. It is important to keep in mind that in BDSM play, the dominant partner always follows the lead of the submissive partner. Nothing should happen in forced orgasm play that both parties don't agree should happen. The goal here is a pleasure for all involved.

Forced orgasms may involve physical methods such as bondage or discipline. However, it may also involve a simple mutual agreement that the partner in the submissive role will engage in a sex act that involves forced orgasm.

Examples of Forced Orgasm Play

So, how do forced orgasms work? These are incorporated in many ways. Here are a few examples of situations forced orgasm play might be incorporated into sex.

Forced Orgasm Through Humiliation

Forced orgasm play does not always mean forcing someone to engage in a sex act until they climax. It may also involve the use of humiliating scenarios where the submissive person is brought to orgasm in a situation that involves humiliation for them.

Keep in mind that these are fully consensual. The people involved are just playing with sexual norms like humiliation and domination. That's a popular fantasy for many people.

For example, someone who is traditionally very masculine may have a desire to experience being sexually dominated by a woman while engaged in cross-dressing. He isn't being physically forced. Instead, his forced orgasms are happening in the context of BDSM play.

Edging or Delayed Orgasm

In this practice, one partner brings the other just to the edge of orgasm. Then, they stop. This denies their partner the pleasure they crave. They may do this repeatedly until the partner is practically going wild. The idea of forced orgasms comes into play because it is up to the partner to decide when the other orgasms.

Forced Orgasms Using Masturbation

Just like it sounds, the submissive partner is forced to masturbate to completion. The BDSM scenario involved may include roleplay or fantasies. For many people, simply being watched as they stimulate their erogenous zones is humiliating. Others may want to incorporate other elements of domination into their role-play scene.

Bondage And Forced Orgasms

Forced orgasm play and bondage really do pair well together. In these scenarios, the submissive is bound and brought to orgasm.

Safe Forced Orgasm Practices

To ensure that the experience brings pleasure to everybody, follow these safety practices in bed or anywhere else!

Forced orgasms are a type of sexual play that must always involve consent. The players involved should agree on a safe word. It is also the dominant partner's responsibility to look for other signs of distress. In addition to safe words, some people agree on physical signals to stop. Many people don't understand that power exchange isn't about one person inflicting pain and sex acts on another whether they want it or not. True force has no place in the kink scene. The reality is that the sub should always be in control.

An orgasm that results from this type of play may involve being restrained, role-playing a scene where force is simulated, or access to climax is withheld is evidence of a healthy sexual relationship. Orgasms that occur:

  • After the partner has used the safe word

  • During an acquaintance or stranger rape

  • When anyone is incapable of consent

  • If coercion is involved

  • After the partner changes their mind

are the result of sexual assault. An orgasm is a physiological response to genital stimulation. Most people have limited control over whether they orgasm. This doesn't mean that they consented to the act, or that the pain and distress they feel should be minimized.

What Might a Consensual Forced Orgasm Look Like?

The answer to this particular question depends on a variety of factors. Anatomy, pain and pleasure tolerance, and ultimately just one's own preference. We also have to consider things such as stamina, tolerances, and personal skills as well.

It can also depend on the type of genitalia a person may possess as well. After all, those with vulvas tend to have an easier time reaching orgasm than those with a penis. It could look like a person being forced to cum multiple times without a rest, or it could look like the sub being tied down while their dorm uses highly powered vibrators in order to make them orgasm multiple times. It could even look like one person being restrained while the other takes their time.

The sub may ask for permission to release. The dominating person may tell the other when to cum. There may even be some form of roleplay involved.

Consensual forced orgasms can look like a lot of things, but the most important factor during this type of sex is consent. So long as both parties agree to the type of play they are going into, and understand when to stop forced orgasms can be an interesting point of playing during the kink scene.

When You Should Stop

Once again a big part of the kink scene is consent and part of consent is also looking for verbal or nonverbal cues to end the interaction. After all, climaxing once is nice, but being forced to cum multiple times in a row might not be so great.

Take the time to learn on your own as well as the other person's limits. Listen to what they're saying carefully, there could be a point in time where they might not be able to speak clearly when it comes to saying the safe words that you have chosen. Look for signs of pain or discomfort from them as well.

Remember that it is both of your responsibility to take the time to learn not just your own but each other's limits, and that includes how much you are willing to give as well as take. If you as a dominating person begin to feel uncomfortable with how much you are giving it is perfectly ok for you to stop.

Exploring Your Body as Well as Your Partners

Practice good self care and make sure to properly take care of yourself. Explore your own body through masturbation in order to find other erogenous zones aside from the more obvious ones.

By doing this you will learn more about your own limits as well as how far you are able to take things during BDSM play.

The other person also takes an important role during this exchange. After all, sex is usually a two-sided coin. Forced orgasm play should only be done by couples who know one another's bodies very well. So if you're a new couple this is just a great time to really get going in order to be more familiar with each other.

Talk!

Communication is one of the biggest factors when it comes to anything in the BDSM community. We personally like to call it a part of the 3 C's. Communication, Consent, and Climax. As long as you take the time to ensure that all 3 of those factors are put into place you and the person you plan to go to bed with should have a good time.

First tell them about what you've seen or read. Perhaps you can mention an article that you've seen that speaks about it. Or even a related story that relates to the topic. Search the topic online with each other and establish rules and limits. Especially if this is your first time trying something like this out.

You may even want to take it a step back and simply explore one part at a time. Establish rules, search for fantasy points, state any idea that you might have to elevate the scene. Establish the difference between begging and emotional despair. Sex should be a pleasure to experience and it helps to communicate with each other.

Safe Words and Pain Scales

Safe words are probably one of the first things you should talk about before heading to bed. By having a safe word chosen you both have selected a point of communication where you are both on the same page as each other.

A safe word should be something that is easily recognizable. It should be clear and concise and not be ignored no matter what. Pineapple, Avocado, Banana, and Lasagna - these are just a few examples of good safe words. After all, do you really expect someone to scream "Lasagna" when they are feeling a pleasurable sensation and want you to keep going?

There's also the factor of pain to consider as well. Forced orgasms can sometimes be painful and some people may have higher tolerances to them than others. Take the time to explore and figure out where you and your partner may land on this scale. For example, you may have a very low pain tolerance and the others might be very high. It's all subjective to the person and should be respected.

Consider Using Toys

Remember that you don't have to use things like vibrators or other toys until you both are completely comfortable doing so. By using a device during this type of sex you can take a fantasy to a new level.

What should I do after?

Aftercare is just as if not even more important than the sexual acts that the two of you have just completed. For example, after completing something as intense as this type of stimulation the sub may experience something known as sub drop.

What this basically means is that the sub may experience a significant drop in endorphins and adrenaline. They may feel sad or depressed, experience aches and pains, physical and emotional exhaustion, hunger, thirst, or even just feel plain tired.

It is the responsibility of the dominating person to initiate aftercare and ensure that the sub is able to come out of their sub drop in a safe manner. This can include making them food, giving them something to drink, putting on a movie, offering a massage to the other, and simply relaxing with each other. There are a lot more ways to practice aftercare and what works best for your partner may fully depend on what they prefer.

Non Consensual Forced Orgasms

What should you do?

Ultimately the answer to this question completely depends on what feels safest to you. You may feel the need to go to the police and illustrate what happened to you. You might feel the need to scream, cry, and even just escape your attacker without further violence.

You might not even realize what just happened to you. The important thing to know is that all reactions to such a traumatizing event are valid and you should feel no shame in your reactions.

If in the moment you have realized what has happened you may consider contacting emergency services. Report the incident to local authorities, or go to the hospital. Remember that what has happened to you is a crime and that you can report the incident.

However, if you feel the need to be more private about the situation and don't feel safe about reporting it to the authorities you can ask your local hospital for a rape kit as well. While we do encourage you to report we understand that not everyone trusts or feels safe with the local police force.

If you are unable or unwilling to reach out to local authorities you should know that you don't have to go through this alone. Take the time needed to reach out to your family, friends, and partner or partners. You don't have to experience this terrible thing alone.

If you are on the other side and you are the one supporting someone who just went through this awful experience, remember that there are some things you can do to help them as well.

Believing them is probably one of the most important things. After all, assault of this kind is one of the things that many people refuse to lie about even if there are some reported cases of it happening.

Validate their feelings and remind them that orgasm is merely a bodily reaction and that they did nothing to deserve what happened to them.

You should also lay out options and boundaries as well. We understand that this kind of assault is traumatizing and that you want to be there for the people you care for. However, it should not put risks to your own mental or physical health.

Above all else support them and what they plan to do. Don't tell them what they should and shouldn't do. Remember that assault is all about taking away somebody's autonomy and by telling them what they should do you are essentially repeating the cycle.

Let them choose their course of action and support their choices. Only intervene if it seems like their plan involves causing more harm to themselves or others.


Taimi is free to download. Taimi Premium subscription provides access to features unavailable or limited in the free version of the app.

Follow the latest Taimi news on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.

Share this post:
Get Taimi App for Free