Just Who are Bisexual People?
Before we start talking about stereotypes, let's talk about what it means "to be bisexual". Firstly, let's define the term sexual orientation:
"Sexual orientation involves many aspects of life, such as who we feel attracted to, who we have sex with, and how we self-identify," explains Christine Kaestle, a professor of developmental health at Virginia Tech.
According to this definition, bisexual people are individuals who have a romantic and sexual attraction to both men and women and who identify themselves as bisexual. They may be involved in sexual relationships with men, women, or both.
Some examples of what the term bisexual does NOT mean.
if a queer person is in a heterosexual relationship but also has intercourse with same-sex partners, they may or may not identify as bisexual.
If two lesbian adults are in a relationship, and one has sex with a straight man, does that then make them a bi person? No.
The point is this: If a heterosexual or queer is experimenting and exploring their own sexuality with multiple genders, this does not constitute being bisexual.
In other words, someone is bisexual when they identify as that, in the same way anyone else self-identifies.
Common Stereotypes about Bisexuals
In recent years, LGBTQ representation in films has been trending in a positive direction. But unfortunately, there are lots of limitations in acknowledging the depth and breadth of queers, bisexual people in particular. Here is a list of bisexual stereotypes that are worth discussing and debunking.
It's Just a "Phase" or "Stepping Stone"
In most movies, bisexuality is described as a "phase" that is often attached to one concrete relationship. Such representation makes us wrongly believe that the characters will change their sexual orientation and become heterosexual or homosexual once the romance ends. They were just confused.
The truth is that it doesn't work this way. Bisexuals are equally attracted to both gender identities, and one failed relationship will not change their gender preference. They will still be into men and women.
This bisexual stereotype needs to go right now.
Bisexuality Makes You Badass
Let's take a look at the list of these bisexual characters:
- Mazikeen from Lucifer
- Rosa Diaz from Brooklyn Nine-Nine
- John Constantine from Constantine
- Bo Dennis from Lost Girl
- Sara Lance from Arrow
What do they have in common? All of them are badass movie characters. All of them have both positive and negative traits. Have you ever seen a bisexual character who is a shy cute girl with no negative traits? Nope.
Fact: In real life, sexuality doesn't define personality. Your attraction to other women, men, and transgender people has nothing to do with your personality traits. The media needs to stop depicting people in the bi community as aggressive, greedy, self-promotional, etc. People in non-monosexual relationships run the full gambit of personality types. It's time that the media portrays all of these types.
Bisexual People Are Sex Addicts
Bisexual people love sex as much as other people who are straight or not (not more, not less). But filmmakers intentionally make viewers believe that bisexual people have a higher libido and can hardly control their desires. They do not portray a bisexual person as having a life outside of their gender identity.
Bisexual characters are portrayed as typically involved in threesomes and orgies and using every opportunity to hook up with other men and women. Sometimes it seems that they have no other interests in life than satisfaction of their physical needs.
Surprise! Bisexual women and men have jobs and careers. They have family and friends; they have outside interests and hobbies. They have causes they are passionate about. These things matter a lot.
And the fact is that many bisexuals are attracted to the same gender and other genders, emotionally, not physically. They are interested in romance, not just sex.
In other words, if you start dating a bisexual woman, don't think that the only thing she wants is to get you into bed. Probably, she is attracted to you in another way and wants to build a healthy relationship, to the same degree as other people do in their lives.
Bisexual People Are into Cheating
According to Hollywood movies, bisexual men and women are more likely to cheat. But guess what? It's another lie! Many bisexual people prefer to stay in a committed relationship. And some of them stay faithful to one partner for a lifetime. They recognize their attraction to others of a different gender but choose not to follow up on that attraction.
Bisexual people, just like gays, any lesbian, and straights, base their choices on their moral principles. If your lesbian girlfriend has cheated on you with a different or same gender, you can be sure that her choice didn't depend on her sexual identity.
"If bisexuals are seen as avoiding monogamous relationships, they may be viewed as more interested than heterosexuals in dating others outside their current relationship or as more likely to "cheat" on their partner. However, there is no scientific evidence that can prove this," says Leah R. Spalding, a researcher at the University of California.
Heterosexual Relationships Are for Straight Individuals Only
When a bisexual individual dates an opposite gender, everyone assumes that this couple is a straight one. But it's not. Take a look at the following tweet to understand how common this misconception is.
"Bisexual people can't be labeled as straight people even if they choose hetero relationships. Gay men who date gay men will always be gays. Bisexual people will always be bisexual regardless of whether they hookup with girls, boys, or trans."
What? This is just word salad. Bisexual women and men will be bisexual as long as they say they are. And bisexual women and men will stay in heterosexual relationships as long as they wish to do so, many for the rest of their lives. The word bisexual has nothing to do with it. Their romantic and sexual feelings do, just as they do for everyone.
Avoidance of "Bi" Word
Modern moviemakers actively support the LGBTQ+ community. Today, almost every popular TV show has a gay character. Noteworthily, the vast majority of these characters clearly state that they are gay people. We often hear phrases like "Hey, I'm Megan, and I'm a lesbian," and "Hi, I'm Jonathon, and I'm gay".
Now let's talk about people who are attracted to more than one gender. Can you name at least a few characters who openly describe themselves as bisexual people in a movie or TV show?
In most films and TV shows, the word "bisexuality" is never used. As a rule, we can guess whether a character is a bisexual person by analyzing his behavior and actions.
New term: "Bi erasure" is an act of ignoring or dismissing bisexuality in culture and media.
Unfortunately, many people don't accept the fact that bisexual people exist. They still believe that all bisexual people fall into one of two categories:
- People who keep exploring their sexuality;
- Gay women and men who haven't come out yet.
But the fact is that millions of people are attracted to more than one gender. The media world can't keep ignoring it. Bisexuality is not a "bad term," and it should be used freely along with such words as gay, lesbian, and queer.
Bi People Are Seen as Less Interesting People of LGBTQ+ Community
Since bi people are not "gay" enough, they seem to be "not that interesting as characters" to make a movie about. That's why we rarely come across bisexual characters when watching Netflix. It's also a kind of media prejudice that should be avoided.
In 2024, it's time to understand that each gender and sexuality type is equally important. Media corporations should put efforts into showing that it's totally normal to be attracted to one gender and/or both. And it's also totally normal to have an opposite- or same-sex relationship.
The Negative Effect of Stereotypes That Exist in the Media
Stereotypes affect all aspects of our lives. And if we want to live in a better world, we should dispel them all. Here are a few reasons that prove that negative connotations of the bisexual identity are harmful to our society.
They Affect Self-Identity
There are many young individuals out there who question their sexuality. Consciously and unconsciously, they compare themselves with bisexual characters they have seen on the screens. If they understand that they have nothing in common with these characters, they doubt whether they are bisexual.
Here is an example. Let's say you are one of those sweet, tender girls who are attracted to people of both gender identities. You struggle to understand whether you are bisexual. You see that all bisexual women shown in TV shows are hot, bitchy, promiscuous ladies obsessed with sex. On top of that, they are into cheating.
If you don't associate yourself with these characters, you will likely doubt your sexuality. And that's a bad thing. TV shows should reflect real-life stories to eliminate gender inequality in the media. That's the only right way to support members of the queer community and combat discrimination.
They Form Negative Attitudes Toward Bisexuality
Those people who know little or nothing about the queer community and its members base their opinions about bisexuality on what they see on TV. And since almost every bisexual character on TV is presented in a negative light, it makes people believe that all bisexuals as a group are "bad guys".
This is one of the reasons why many bisexual people find it challenging to make new friends and ask people of both genders on a date. Due to the adverse impact of the media, some straight individuals, as well as queers, avoid making connections with bi people.
This problem will exist until media corporations change their strategy. So LGBTQ+ media advocacy organizations like GLAAD need to put pressure on moviemakers and achieve justice for the entire group. The past cannot be changed. But going forward, the word bisexual must exist in the media without negative stereotypes. These are people who are individuals in their own right - not heaped into a single social group. The umbrella term bisexual can no longer describe this group as all being in the same box.
Do You Want to Get Connected with Bisexual People?
Whether you are a straight person or bi, you may be wondering where you can find a bisexual woman/man to start relationships with. Gay guys visit gay bars. Lesbians attend lesbian parties. And where can you meet a person who is attracted to both genders? Not necessarily at any one of these places.
The answer is pretty simple. You can find bisexual women and men via bisexual chat – yep, online dating is the most popular way modern couples meet. Once you meet someone special, you will feel it on a deep level.
Are you questioning your sexuality and can't decide whether you are attracted to boys, girls, or both? Try out bisexual dating, and you will find out whom you prefer more or if you prefer both. Once you feel an attraction, go for it. And if you feel another for a different gender, go for it.
Tip: Be honest with your bisexual dates. Let them know that you previously have had relationships with people of only one gender. And explain and describe your reason for wanting to date them. You don't want them to make any false assumption.
Wrapping Up
It seems that modern media underestimates the importance of bisexual people and their role in the LGBTQ+ community. But we hope that it will change in the near future.
What can you do to help bisexual individuals who face discrimination? Educate your friends and family about bisexuality and teach them to show respect to all people regardless of their gender. Be an example to follow, and your contribution will be highly appreciated. You won't necessarily change the world, but you can do your small part.
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