Do you need some helpful tips on how to make your first strap sex special? Here is the ultimate guide for you.
Step #1 - Choose a Suitable Strap-on Dildo
Do you want to have mind-blowing strap-on sex? Keep in mind that you can't just choose a random toy. That's the case when you need to make an informed purchasing decision and buy a strap-on dildo that fits your lesbian couple perfectly.
Preferably, you need to visit a sex shop with your sex partner to find the most suitable options. A wearer should try on a harness and check whether it's comfortable to wear. A receiver should choose the size and shape of the dildo.
Tip: Women who feel uncomfortable wearing a harness have little chance to get any sexual enjoyment from strap-on sex. Choose the right dildo to be able to enjoy a new sex experience.
It's worth mentioning that you should buy dildos of the best quality you can afford. It's the only way to ensure that you will have enjoyable and, most importantly, safe sex.
Cheap dildos and vibrators are typically made of poor-quality materials. They don't meet the hygiene requirements and can cause itching, burning, rashes, and tissue damage. Low-priced dildos have a porous surface which makes it a cozy breeding ground for bacteria and yeast infections.
Here are a few tips on how to choose a high-quality, body-safe strap-on:
- Choose dildos made of food-grade or medical-grade silicone, glass, or steel.
- Opt for the world-famous sex toy brands rather than new brands you have never heard about
- Make sure that the strap-on comes with a warranty
- Never buy counterfeit products. Even though they sometimes look exactly like original branded products (have the same shape and color), believe me, they feel differently.
Step #2 - Get Used to It
Before you get ready to enjoy your first strap-on sex, you should put the new harness on and learn how to fasten it tight. You should gain an understanding of how you can regulate the length of straps and how buckles work.
It may surprise you, but the process of strap-on dressing may be harder than it looks in porno movies. It may take you more than ten minutes to adjust straps and find a comfy position for the dildo.
Also, you should take your time to practice and do some "physical exercises". You should learn how to move your hips to move the dildo in the right direction and penetrate the vagina of your sex partner at the right angle. You should master this skill in advance. Otherwise, you may disappoint your lover.
Tip: Don't forget about the psychological aspect of wearing a penis. You will likely feel weird when trying on the harness for the first time. It may take you time to get used to the idea of having an "extra body part".
Does the idea of using a strap-on scare you? When you put the harness on, does your own body feel foreign to you? Make sure to overcome these psychological barriers before inviting your partner to the bedroom.
Step #3 - Have a Conversation First
The first-in-life strap-on sex is an intimate experience for all queer women. So please, don't force your partner to try this experience if she's not ready. Wait for the moment you both want to take part in a strap sex play.
Unfortunately, some lesbians behave egocentrically and do it all wrong. Once they receive a box with a strap-on, they open it, dress the harness, and force their lovers into a strap action. Since not every queer woman is mentally and physically ready for such a sex experience, it results in conflicts.
You can avoid these if you have an honest conversation with your partner. Tell your girlfriend when and how you want to try the strap (you can mention whether it will be vaginal sex, anal sex, etc.). Show her the dildo (if you already have one), or offer her to choose the new product from the store or dedicated site.
Tip: Do you want to have strap-on sex with a person you met in a lesbian chat? Make sure to discuss details of your date online before you meet in real life.
Also, you should specify whether you want to be a strap-on wearer or receiver. This question is more important than one might think. Here is what one queer girl says about playing the role of the wearer:
"Wearing a strap-on really is a major turn off. I'm very feminine, and my femininity is what makes me feel sexy. I absolutely mean it when I say that thought of f**ing her with a strap-on is actually repulsive to me to the point where I don't think I could even mentally force myself to do it."
Tip: Before getting into strap sex, make sure that your partner is comfortable with an assigned role. And don't force the person to try another role.
Step #4 - Give Love
While many people see strap-on sex as a "wild act" driven by animal instincts, you should see it more as an act of giving and receiving love.
As one queer girl has written on her Twitter, loving other women is the backbone of lesbian relationships.
being a lesbian is one of the most beautiful things this life has to offer I love loving women
— ? (@allofthel0ve) February 7, 2022
Want to make your lover happy? Use a strap-on dildo to find her G spot, and be gentle. Move your hips slowly, don't thrust too hard. If your partner feels uncomfortable, offer to switch positions and choose the moving pace that suits you both.
Once you see that your lover is totally enjoying the process, you can start thrusting more intensively. You can experiment with new moves and different dildos to blow your partner's mind and maximize your sexual enjoyment.
Tip: Make it a goal to deliver the highest pleasure to your partner, and you will be rewarded with the best queer sex ever.
Step #5 - Don't Skip the Foreplay
Foreplay is an essential part of strap-on sex. Make sure to enjoy it to the fullest. Kiss your lover from the top of the head to toe to enhance sexual experience and create extensive sexual arousal. You can opt for oral sex or you can use a vibrator - do whatever makes your partner's body shake from desire.
Dr. Ruth Westheimer, a famous therapist, explains why foreplay is important for reaching an orgasm:
"Stimulation is the key to achieving pleasure. Blood flows into the clitoris, and in order for a woman to have an orgasm, there must be lubrication in the vagina, but also the clitoris must get erect."
You should get properly warmed up before you start using a dildo - it will get you in the right mindset. It will eliminate psychological barriers, so you will not feel weird putting on a strap-on harness.