Sexual Riding - Ride 'Em Cowboy (or Girl)

Last Updated 07.03.2023
9 min read

We all know about sex positions - missionary, side-by-side, sitting, variations of those, and, yes, riding. And we often think of this as a female on top of a male, going down on his penis and "riding it, almost like riding a horse. Thus, the term "cowgirl."

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For many in the LGBTQ+ community, riding is not a common sex position to be used, especially among lesbians and gay men. But nothing could be further from the truth. There are plenty of ways to experience "going for a ride" for all LGBTQ+ people.

First, Let's Talk about the Benefits of Going for a Ride

When riding is used as a position, there are lots of cool things that can go on.

  • Partners are facing each other, which promotes more intimacy

  • It allows couples to maintain eye contact during sex

  • Female cowgirls can stimulate their clit while they ride

  • Couples can kiss while the sex happens

  • Breasts can meet

  • It's perfect for getting as deep as possible

  • The rider can go slow or fast, being in control of the pace

  • Play with genitals, nipples, etc., can happen

  • Couples can read each other's facial expressions during sex

  • When your lover is on top, it doesn't feel like just you doing the work

Also, your legs can get an amazing workout! No matter who you are, These techniques are sure to get you feeling absolutely orgasmic!

How LGBTQ+ Couples can Ride

LGBTQ+ couples come in all combinations - male/female, female/female, male/male - all of whom want to enjoy a variety of sexual encounters and techniques. Let's take a look at some (but certainly not all) of the possibilities:

  • Two lesbians can use a strap-on so that the cowgirl can ride it. Even a reverse cowgirl can bring pleasure to both, as the bottom has some butt sex/play.

  • Two gay male partners can enjoy anal sex in these positions, changing top and bottom to satisfy both with penetration

  • Two bisexuals, male and female, male and male, female and female, can use any of the lesbian or gay postures, as well as the hetero techniques if they are male/female

  • None of these techniques include other possibilities that may occur among the polyamorous, among the BDSM crowd, etc., but that is not the point of this article. The point is to talk about this as a sexual technique that is meant to be pleasurable and erotic. This is true no matter how or who you love. So, let's move on to those specifics.

Ride Like a Pro

First and foremost, think about this. As you make the decision to try this with your SO, you must understand that you are now in control of what is going to happen. Of course, you want to make the experience amazing for both of you, so here are a few tips to do just that.

What's the Rush?

There isn't any. You are ready to enjoy a pleasurable experience, so take it slowly. It's time for you to be playful, to tease, and to provide some extra stimulation to yourself and to your squeeze. Begin slowly, engage in some great foreplay, kiss the bottom person on the mouth and the chest, suck their nipples, use your fingers to play with their ears, and gradually move down to their genitals.

Dump the Self-Conscious Crap

Just who has a perfect body? No one you know, probably. A lot of women and men are self-conscious about their bodies, and the thought of being on top can be a little unnerving. You are sexy, just as you are. And if you can't get over being self-conscious about your body, then simply turn the lights down low or off. Who needs bright lighting for sex anyway? You can also try wearing something that makes you feel really attractive.

Eye Contact is So Sexy

Look your "bottom" in the eyes. Make sure that you continue to do this with intensity. This is totally erotic, and you can gauge their response by the look they give you back.

Focus on the Hips

Being a good rider means using your hips because that's where all the action really is. Those hips of yours are "weapons of joy, ecstasy, and even pain if you are both into kink.

Your knees can squeeze in on the sides of your bottom as you bounce up and down.

Supporting yourself with hands on your partner's chest, you can grind those hips forward and backward or at an angle. Learn to keep the penis inside while you do this for the best effect.

For gay men, the reverse cowgirl (boy) position can be perfect for anal sex. The bottom can grab those hips and move them up and down, rotating them for a different angle, while the top can use his fingers to play with the bottom's butt hole. Even toys can be used to supplement this sex position.

The reverse position is also great for two lesbians, because the top had easy access to her bottom's V-jay jay, for all sorts of great moves, even using a sex toy on that bottom as she pleasures herself. There are all sorts of variations on this theme - have a chat with some other lesbians and discover how they ride. Don't ever let anyone tell you that two women cannot ride like the best of them. And don't forget: part of the beauty of a lesbian cowgirl position is that the clit can be stimulated in any position.

And for you bisexuals - pick and choose. There are a whole lot of options for you from the above, or get creative with your experimentation.

Remember this quote from Leonardo Da Vinci: "The function of muscle is to pull and not to push, except in the case of the genitals and the tongue." Think about it as you explore sex positions as a cowgirl or boy.

Kissing, Other Mouth Play, and Talking Dirty

If you ride someone face-to-face, there are all sorts of other sexy pleasures to be had by both of you. You can lean forward and plant some sexy kisses or tongue all around and in the inside of each other's mouths. Lean forward some more so that you are chest-to-chest or just brushing your nipples against theirs. Just the tip of a nipple touching theirs can be a feeling that makes both of you soar pretty high.

And don't forget to use those magic fingers of yours all over their intimate areas. You'll have them feeling amazing before long.


Dirty talk is always welcome during any kind of lovemaking and the cowgirl position is no exception. It can be a bit tiring, so a little chat will stop you from wearing yourself out. As you ride, be sure to tell your bottom what you are going to do to them; be sure to tell your bottom what you want them to do; and ask them what they want you to do to them.

Take a Break When You Want

Remember, you are in charge of this session. You might actually be into edging, bringing yourself and/or your partner to the brink of orgasm, and then pulling back. This can drive both of you crazy with passion and a bit of pain, but the end will ultimately be amazing. So rest when you decide to - you are in charge. If you get to the point where you just can't go anymore, it's fine to try something else.

Tempo and Rhythm are Important

Even though you may be taking it slow, getting into a tempo and rhythm is important for both of you to reach maximum pleasure. If your bottom has a member, with that inside you, then make sure the speed and the timing are good for both of you. Speak up and ask. And make sure you ask if the head of his penis is getting the stimulation it needs. You are the boss, of course, but this sex position has to involve enjoyment for you both.

Try Positions That Don't Involve a Bed

You can both lie in a bed, and you can ride very well that way. But how about places other than that? How about your bottom sitting in a chair or on the load-bearing shelf of a shower stall? These positions can feel good too, you can still be in control, and you can still do all of the things you want to do whether face-to-face or in the reverse position.

Facing forward, you can kiss, fondle, use your mouth, press together chest-to-chest, and have the same penetration that you have when prone.

Facing backward, you can still lean in a variety of angles, use your thighs to squeeze, and allow your bottom to still fondle your breasts or reach your clitoris/vulva. And you can take a break by simply standing up. And you can still bounce or grind as you decide to do it.

Don't Knock Cuddling

Cuddling is very important. Whether a penis or a toy is inside you, there is plenty of cuddling that can take place, and it should if you want mutual satisfaction. Use your lips, your fingers, your arms, and even your head to nuzzle. Kiss their neck. Whisper words of love and affection. This is not only about deriving sexual satisfaction for you. It's about showing affection and a desire for your SO to feel a part of the entire experience.

Ready to Ride?

You should be! Put some bounce back in your love life. You don't have to rely on the old standard missionary anymore. Be the boss, be confident, use your natural tools or toys, and have at it. Who knows? You may discover that this is the best way to get the most out of your sex.

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