Last Updated 08.11.2022
11 min read

Gay Sex Positions - Are They So "Different?"

Alan Schin (he/him/his) is the Chief Editor at Taimi. He wears several hats daily as a writer, editor, blogger, and content contributor. He began his university studies as a Psychology student but found his passion in Advanced Communication Studies. Alan loves having the opportunity to write and help our content team shine. According to Alan, his education helps him to understand the dynamics behind dating and socialization better. When he isn’t busy with Taimi, Alan works on his first novel, a sci-fi thriller, and creates works of art in his ceramics studio.

Who thinks about gay sex positions? Gays of course. And let’s face it. When two guys, each with a penis, want to have sex, they often think of the basic, “normal” positions of penetration and oral sex. But there’s a whole wide world out of sex positions for gays that you may not know about and may not have tried. 

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    Gay.de (@gay.de) • Instagram photos and videos

    Maybe it’s time to spice up your gay dating with some variety. Do some reading or watch some gay sex videos to observe firsthand some of these great positions you haven’t known about or considered. After all, variety and some creativity in the bedroom (or elsewhere) can serve to keep a dating relationship new and exciting.

    So, let’s explore sex positions of all possibilities for gays - positions that necessity and creativity have about.

    Getting Some Terminology Out of the Way

    Especially for "newbies" in the gay sex arena, there may be some terms they don't understand as they read about the best gay sex positions. So, here are the most common:

    • The Top: This is the dominant partner in any gay sex position, and it can change back and forth, no matter what great gay sex position is chosen. Partners can be both the top and the bottom as they wish. Generally, the top is the more active partner.

    • The Bottom: This will be the submissive partner who is not in control of the sex act. Again, gay men often change up their roles depending on their positions and moods at the time.

    • The Versatile: This refers to gay men who like switching between "top" and "bottom," either as the one in control or being controlled. Gay sexual activity is flexible like that.

    • The Side: Many gay men don't like anal sex via penetration. So, they will choose such activities as oral sex, mutual masturbation, rimming, and such to reach orgasm and satisfaction

    Now, on to those positions.

    Common, Popular, and Best Positions for Gay Sex

    Missionary Sex

    This is probably the most basic position for sex, and also one of the best gay sex settings. It does involve anal sex positions and moderate or deep penetration depending on the choice of how the partners lay or sit. It is the most classic position.

    This position involves one of the partners lying on his back and the dominant partner on top (of course, this can be reversed at any time). The submissive raises his hips (sometimes a wedge is used to raise the butt higher), and the "top" then enters the anus.

    The great thing about the missionary position is that the partners can be face-to-face, can talk, engage in deep kissing, and just have a far more intimate experience than with most other sex poses. And this makes it one of the best positions for gay sex for those partners who are in a romantic relationship.

    Doggy Style

    Everyone has heard of this position, and it is common for gays. But there are variations, of course.

    The standard and most common doggie-style position is the bottom on his hands and knees while the "top" enters the anus from behind. While this allows deeper penetration than the missionary position, it does not allow partners to have face-to-face intimacy.

    On the other hand, the bottom partner can use the doggy style to masturbate or be masturbated by the top at the same time - double the fun!

    Important Note Here: Anal sex must involve lots of lube. The anus does not self-lubricate, so lubes must be used. Gay anal sex cannot happen without it. Don’t scrimp on cost and get a high-quality lube.

    Variations in Doggy Style

    Flat and side doggy styles are also popular.

    • Flat is almost self-explanatory. The bottom lies flat on his stomach with his butt raised, usually by a wedge or pillow

    • The side doggie has the bottom and top in a big spoon position, leaving both partners' hands-free for other intimate play.

    Putting it In Reverse

    This position at first seems like the bottom is sitting in a chair, but this is not the case. The top sits in a chair with an erect penis and his knees pulled up and outward. The bottom then backs up and sits down on his partner's penis, and it is his task to do all of the work. If the top is quite agile, once the thrusting momentum begins, he will be able to use his hands to caress all of the front parts of the bottom, even including masturbating him in rhythm with the bottom's thrusts.

    Another variation of this position - once the bottom is in place, the top can wrap his legs around the front of the bottom partner, pulling him in for deep penetration.

    The Wheelbarrow (Sometimes Called the Cliff Diver)

    This may require a top who is in good shape and has some strong arms, depending on the size of the bottom partner. The bottom gets on all fours on the floor. The top gets down on his knees and enters the bottom's anus. He then grabs the bottom's hips or thighs and raises himself into a standing position, while the bottom extends his legs out around the top - thus the wheelbarrow image. For deeper penetration, the bottom may want to keep his knees bent.

    Knees Up

    This position provides maximum exposure of the butt and deep penetration. The bottom lies flat on his stomach on any surface (bed, couch, floor, etc.) with his legs spread. The top gets in between the bottom's outstretched legs, grabs the bottom's ankles or calves, and pushes them forward up toward the bottom partner's chest. This provides maximum exposure to the entire butt, and that can be pretty erotic in itself. Plus, this position allows the use of some pretty interesting sex toys, especially if both partners are into that.

    Rocking Chairs Aren't Just for Grandparents and New Mothers

    It's the rhythm of it all. And while it may lull grandparents and babies to sleep, it can be a prop for one of the best sex scenes. The top partner (the top) sits in the rocking chair and pulls his knees to his chest. The bottom then backs up and sits on the top's penis, keeping his feet on the floor. Once in position, the bottom then begins to rock. The top can grab the hips of the rocking partner and thrust in and out in rhythm with the movement. This can even achieve an extra deep penetration, adding pleasure to both.

    Being a Bodyguard

    This is the most common of the standing positions for having sex while in a standing position, and its most common name is the "bodyguard." The bottom props himself against a wall and puts his back in an arch position which causes the butt to protrude out. The top then enters from behind. The extra pleasure of this great sex is the skin-to-skin contact all up and down the body, the top's ability to grab the hips and move slowly or rapidly as he wants or give the bottom manual masturbation.

    The bodyguard position also works well in a shower, just so you know. And a good variation is for the bottom to get into a kneeling position over a couch or chair, letting the top penetrate from behind. This is also a good way to achieve prostate stimulation to the bottom.

    Ride 'Em Cowboy

    Hats are optional, as are boots. This cowboy position involves the top lying on his back (remember, the "top" is the one doing the penetrating) and the bottom bending his knees to straddle the top. He then lowers himself onto the top and begins the grinding and thrusting. For those who are a bit into BDSM, the top's arms are free for gently whipping the bottom on his back and butt. Maintaining eye contact is another plus of this position.

    The reverse cowboy position is called the cowgirl. The active partner lies in the same position, but the bottom straddles facing the top's feet. Again, the top is free to use that whip or to improve the grinding by holding onto the bottom's hips and controlling the speed and energy.

    Oral Sex - So many Options

    Most all couples - no matter what their gender identity. - engage in oral sex. For gay couples, oral sex does not involve penis penetration, obviously but can certainly include situations when a partner penetrates the other with the tongue. It's called analingus.

    Let's redefine top and bottom here. In many oral sex poses, both partners are equally involved, and so there is no top or bottom. But in some of these positions, there is a "top," that is, the person performing the act on the other partner. So, shift your thinking just a bit.

    The 69

    OK. So, this is not just a gay sex position, but is a popular oral sex position with most all couples who do have this type of sex. The gay sex position for 69 is just like those of other gender identities, and there are two common sexual positions:

    • Head to Foot: One partner lies on his back; the other partner lies on top, on his stomach. Each puts the other's dick in his mouth, and they give each other "blow jobs" until orgasm is reached.

    • Side-By-Side: This same-sex position can be assumed lying facing each other. It is one of the best gay sex positions, again, because two lovers can face each other.

    Analingus Variation of Doggy Style

    One partner is on all fours. The other engages in analingus, using his tongue and mouth, usually as foreplay but sometimes it can result in an intense orgasm.

    Now, there are issues of sexual health involved any time a partner's mouth is used on an anus. First, the mouth is full of germs, and the potential for infection is greater. Second, there can be harmful bacteria in feces, and we all know where that comes from. All of this means that precautions should be taken for safer sex:

    • Receivers of analingus need to clean the area and perhaps take an enema before these events.

    • Givers need to consider some precautionary equipment such as dental dams.

    Whatever precautions are taken, it will be important that thorough cleansing takes place after each event.

    Other Oral Sex Scenarios

    There are other positions, of course, to engage in oral sex:

    • One partner lies flat on his back and then raises his legs up and over the shoulders of the giver who comes in. It allows each to see their partner's face which is always a good thing

    • A standing rimming position can also be one of the best sex positions. The receiver stands with hands or forearms propped up against a wall and arches his back to expose the anus. The giver then gets on his knees and goes in.

    • The giver lies on his back on a bed or other flat surface with his head hanging off that surface. The receiver then steps up and places his genitals and anus over the partner's face of the giver.

    Pleasure, Yes Pleasure

    Gay sex is all about pleasuring one another. And if you’ve been involved on a gay dating app, you may have had the opportunity to hear what other gays have to say about various positions and the pleasure they can provide. Finding the best gay sex positions for yourself and your partner will take some exploration and experimentation. The most important takeaways are this:

    • No one has a monopoly on how gays should engage in sex. Whatever they choose to do in the bedroom is up to them, and anything that they agree on is right. And new intimate gay sex positions can always be fun to explore

    • The gay sex scenarios described in this article do not constitute a full menu, that's for sure. There are many, for example, that involve the use of devices and toys that increase the pleasure of it all. Every gay couple should consider their use.

    • What the best gay sex positions for you and your partner are is a matter of individual taste. But do not discount new gay sex positions until you have tried them.

    In the end, gay sex is any type of sex that two men agree to engage in.


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