Taimi
Online dating has completely changed the way relationships form and dating apps give you the opportunity to meet so many interesting people. Dating multiple people suddenly has become easily available to everyone and most people like to go on many dates before settling down with one partner.
Dating more than one person at a time though can be tricky and you need to establish certain boundaries if you want to be on the same page with everyone you date. In order to help you get your dating life in order, here are some important rules you should follow when dating multiple people.
There are both positive and negative things that can come out of dating multiple people, and before you decide that this is something you wish to do, you should take a look at both sides. The people you're dating can make or break the whole thing and you might end up realizing that dating feels tiring. Here are some pros and cons which might help you make up your mind.
Getting to know new people
Meeting new people through casual dating can be a lot of fun and many of these dates can turn into friendships. Even if you are not currently interested in a serious relationship or finding the right person, this is still a great way to build a network and meet people.
Figuring out what you want in a partner
Dating multiple partners allows you to come in contact with people with many different personalities. This can help you figure out which traits you love, which you can tolerate, and which you cannot stand. As a result, you will be much more confident about the person you see yourself being in a serious relationship with.
Dating at your very own pace
For some people, relationships can be hard to grasp and they might need more time to adjust between different stages. Dating more people can give you the time you need to figure out whether you truly want to be in an exclusive relationship with someone or stay as just friends. There is also always the possibility that your dating experience can turn into an open relationship. Keep an open mind and always discuss new developments with your partners.
Not settling for the first person you meet
Taking the time to date one or more people for a shorter period can help you come across a potential partner who best matches your energy. You don't have to settle for the first person you click with. In fact, this might be many people. It's the one you want to continue seeing though that might make you want a relationship in the future.
On the one hand, all of these positives can be amazing and help you meet some great people that you have a lot of fun times with. That being said, there are also a lot of negatives that can spark from dating more than one person at a time. Here are some examples:
You never let yourself truly connect with anyone
One thing that can be negative when it comes to dating multiple people is that you might feel like you never truly connect with anyone. Casual dating might be very superficial for previously single people and while it might be exciting during the early stages, it can get tedious later on, even if sex is involved.
You end up losing that one special person
There is always the possibility that you will meet someone amazing, only to realize that they were clear about not wanting something serious. Dating more than one person can bring some of the largest benefits but can also end in a bad breakup if both of you are on the same page since you started dating.
Dating so many people can burn you out
Going on more than one date in a span of a few days can end up being exhausting for some people. So much social interaction isn't usually easy to follow in real life and seeing more than one person means that you need to be available for dates frequently. Your world can simply not revolve around dating and this can end up getting tiring.
You end up letting people down
When you date multiple people and someone catches feelings for you and you are not as invested, you might have to break their hearts. You need to make sure that you are ready to date multiple partners and let them know in advance whether you are emotionally available or not without letting them assume your position in this and end up getting it wrong.
Dating multiple people might work for some people and it might not work for others. This depends on a plethora of reasons, many of which might not be directly related to you. As mentioned previously, there are many reasons why dating multiple people can be a positive or negative experience.
One thing you might not have considered is how you will handle this experience once it starts. You might start out as excited to get to know all the people you're dating and meet people who you will have fun with but at some point, you might realize you are investing too much into these relationships.
Getting to know so many people and sharing details about your personal life with everyone can become rather tedious and make you feel like every date is just repeating the previous. You might no longer want to spend the time to get to know people better or get involved with them as you know you are not looking for anything serious.
Going on dates, having drinks and even having casual sex can be entertaining for some time, but when it starts to feel wrong, you know you are no longer on the right path. Is it commitment issues, a previous heartbreak, or simply something third that made you feel like sticking to dating was the best idea? This is entirely up to you to understand.
On the other hand, there are many people who will thrive in such an environment and will simply enjoy finding new people to bond with and spend their evenings with. Modern dating comes in many different forms and online dating can help lonelier people feel connected to more than one person.
Either way, this is bound to work for some people and not for others. You will not know how it will affect you until you give it a try so if it is on your mind, it is probably a good sign that you should give dating multiple people a try.
When it comes to deciding to date multiple people, you need to be sure of the reasons why this is appealing to you. It is a good idea to sit down and think about this before you start going on other dates. Some reasons why you might want to go into dating many people can be the following:
You are still figuring out your sexuality and you don't want to commit to one relationship without having met different people first.
You just got out of a wrong, toxic relationship and you just want to have fun dating before finding someone new for a serious relationship.
You have come to realize that committed relationships are not fulfilling for you and you prefer to stick to casual dating.
You want to be sexually involved with many people without having to stick labels to every relationship.
You just enjoy the thrill of a first date and you don't want to invest in something more serious.
All of these are valid reasons which are totally fine to stumble on. It is important though that you know what you want before you start dating, so you avoid awkward situations and difficult breakups. If you are looking for casual dates and sex, you need to talk about this and be honest.
This is exactly why understanding your point of view on this matter and then setting some essential rules will help you keep your dating life drama-free and truly enjoyable.
When you start talking to someone new, you should always bring up the topic of exclusivity with them. Are they looking for something more serious or are they also just looking for some casual dating? If a committed relationship is not your end goal, let the other person know and talk about it.
It is not right to have someone become invested in you and catch feelings if you are not planning on going on more than just a few dates. Modern dating should rely on open communication and understanding between both parties, especially when you have decided that you want to date multiple partners.
Another important thing you should do from the first few dates you go on with a new person is to set certain boundaries. Explain to them what is off-limits to you and what will make you not want to see them anymore. The same goes for you. Let them be open about their boundaries and respect what terms they set when it comes to you dating them.
For example, some people might not want you to be sexually involved with other people while you are dating them. If this is a deal-breaker for you, you need to be open with them about it and explain why this would not work out for you. The more openly you communicate, the easier it will be for you to keep track of your dating journey with every person.
When it comes to dating multiple people, you need to be open about how many others you're being sexually active with. This is very important when it comes to making sure everyone on board is staying safe and healthy, especially if they are also sleeping with other people too.
If you are having other partners, it is their right to know if you are sleeping with multiple people, even if you are not seeing a future with them. You have to be responsible and keep everyone's needs in mind, especially if they have openly communicated to you that this is something they wish to know.
While it might sound fun to go on as many dates as possible, you should always have a certain limit in mind, especially if you are intending to go on more than one date with every person. If you take on too many dates, it can be rather overwhelming and this can burn you out mentally.
No matter how extroverted you are, you are bound to lose track of every person you are dating. The point is not for dating to turn into a chore. Openly dating many people is supposed to be fun and exciting. For most people, dating more than a few people at a time can be rather overwhelming.
Therefore, make sure you decide on this as part of your dating strategy early on. Choose a number of people you wish to date casually and stick to it. When it doesn't work out with someone, you will then have the time and energy to devote to someone new.
If you are dating more than one person and you end up catching feelings for one of them, you should definitely discuss this with them. Depending on what you have talked about, you might have both agreed that this is out of the question and neither of you wanted something more serious.
Sometimes, this just happens even during casual dating and you have to know how your partner feels in order to see how you will proceed. The other person might also have feelings for you or they might ask you to stop dating altogether. You might be on the other end and have someone confess they developed feelings for you.
Once again, making sure you are both on the same page and honest about this is crucial. This could turn into a relationship, you might decide to stay friends or it might end in one of you getting hurt. This is one of the risks that come with dating and the most important thing is to openly communicate and talk about these issues so that both parties avoid getting hurt in the long run.
Last but not least, another thing you should keep in mind is that there is no competition about how many people you're dating. Just because you have dated more people than a friend, it doesn't mean you should aim for a fixed number. In most cases, there is something underlying your need to stay away from a committed relationship and all the people that want something serious.
Not everyone will be able to keep up with dating multiple people and if at any point you start to struggle, it might be a good idea to stop dating multiple people and focus on yourself instead. Being by yourself is a wonderful thing that can help you grow, enjoy your own company and be sure that you are happy and confident enough in order to be with the right person for you.
Dating multiple people can become overwhelming if you don't have the right rules set to prevent difficulties from arising. No matter who you decide to date, it is important that you are open and honest with them about your expectations and let them know whether you are looking for something exclusive or not. You also have the option of ending already existing relationships if you are no longer enjoying them. Just make sure you won't break someone's heart.
This will save you a lot of heartbreak and time that you could use to go on more fun dates. Keep your options open and don't be afraid to date multiple people before settling down for that special someone. The world is full of amazing, interesting people who you can have a great time going on dates with.
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