How To Let Someone Down Easy Without Breaking Their Heart

Last Updated 19.10.2022
8 min read

When it comes to deciding how to let someone down easy, there is never one simple answer. 

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It can be very difficult to find the right words to tell someone you don't feel the same anymore. Whether you wish to stay friends or go your separate ways, finding the right way to express these thoughts can be very hard.

If you're looking for a way to let someone down easy without breaking their heart, you need to take it slow, process your thoughts and feelings and avoid giving them false hope. Here are some important things to remember in order to end this relationship correctly.

Start in a Positive Way

One of the things you should avoid doing when breaking things off with someone is starting with a negative tone or doing so during what they thought would be a date. The classic phrase "we need to talk" is definitely not a good way to start. Not only is it going to let them know what is to come, it will make them nervous and upset, when your goal is to have a conversation.

Start in a positive way by expressing gratitude for everything you have experienced with this person. Let them know just how nice it was spending time with them and getting to know them. Being rude or disrespectful will only make them more upset and this is not the best way to approach this conversation.

The way you approach this will either leave the door open for a potential friendship between you or completely drive you away from this person. If you feel like you want them in your life but not in a romantic way, showing them respect and making this rejection as easy as possible can determine the future of such relationships.

"How do you know when it's over? Maybe when you feel more in love with your memories than with the person standing in front of you." - Gunnar Ardelius

Be Honest About How You Feel

When you are preparing to let someone down, you should know they will be hurt by this and they will definitely want to know what went wrong. Sometimes, nothing went wrong and you might not be able to find words to explain these things. You just have to be honest with your feelings and how you can't see the other person romantically.

Openly talking to them about the way you feel and being straightforward with them without leaving them wondering is important. Treat the other person with respect and be polite enough to give them your time and reassure them about this possibly confusing situation.

If you have gone on a few dates, they might have started catching feelings for you and if you wait too long to end this, it can make things a bit more difficult. While it might hurt them, you need to stay true to yourself and be honest by getting to the point and letting them know you are no longer interested in them romantically.

Explain That There Is Nothing Wrong With Them

A breakup can really impact the self esteem of a person. Whether you decide to break things off after the first date or the second date or later on in your dating timeline, the other person might think this is their fault. For many people, rejection feels personal and they might think that it is something they did that caused you to want to break things off.

In some situations this might be true. It might be after a particularly bad date that you decide you cannot see yourself dating this individual any longer. In other situations, these feelings might start after a few months of dating them. You might just reach a point in your own time where you just don't feel the same way about them.

It is essential to remind your partner that you had a great time while you dated, but you simply don't feel the romantic attraction between you anymore. Let them know you don't want them to catch feelings when you are not invested in being with them. Staying with someone while knowing that you are not feeling in love can make the rejection so much harder on them.

Instead, be polite and allow them to stay safe by taking some weight off their shoulders. Take the lead in this and explain that this is how you feel and it has nothing to do with one or two dates that didn't go as planned or something they said or did over the course of your dating.

Keep Your Tone Consistent

While you might also be emotional about the things you will be discussing, you need to be able to keep your tone and thoughts consistent while you discuss this. The great time you had together might make you feel like you are making a mistake when you see them upset, but remember that you spent a lot of time thinking about this.

The fact that you chose to break things off means that something inside you kept making you feel like this is not working out. Whether you simply no longer feel interested in them or you want to pursue other relationships, you should be consistent with what you are telling them.

In addition to that, make sure that you show compassion and be kind to them. Don't break up with them during a date or in the middle of the week. Make sure that you do this in a place where they will feel less exposed and choose a day that won't interfere with their daily life.

It is important that you stay consistent to how you always act and treat them with kindness and not ghost them afterwards. Be kind and understanding and let them know they can feel free to also express how this situation makes them feel but that your decision is final.

Discuss Whether You Wish to Stay On Friendly Terms or Not

This is where you need to set boundaries and decide how the bond between you will evolve. You will either choose to not contact one another, you might choose to stay on friendly terms or even continue hanging out with one another. In the long run, things can always change but you might gain a loyal friend who truly cares about you.

The most important thing in order to avoid confusion is to give the other person some space and time to process their thoughts. You cannot expect them to start being friendly the moment you break up. They might ghost you for some time and ignore any message you send, even if you chose to stay friends.

Sometimes it is hard to act friendly when you still have feelings for someone. It is not easy to just pick up the phone and be jolly when inside you're hurting. Put yourself in their shoes and give them some space for the moment. If they decide they are not able to be on friendly terms with you after this, you need to accept their decision no matter what expectations you had.

"Breakups can be sad, but sometimes tears are the price we pay for the freedom we need." -Steve Maraboli

Don't Give Them False Hope

Last but not least, it is important to be direct with what you wish to happen in the future. If you have chosen to stay close friends, be very clear about how you are feeling and explain that this won't include dates or any romantic feelings in the future. You will solely be interested in them as friends.

If you decide to be in each others' lives, you have to make sure that you don't give them any false expectations about the future of your relationship. This might hurt their feelings as well as yours, and it is certainly not easy to reject someone you were interested in, but at the same time, giving them the sense that things could change in the future can be bad.

There is nothing worse than breaking things off with someone and them feeling like there is still a chance of the two of you being together. If you don't see this individual romantically anymore, you need to communicate that openly and clearly, so you avoid any confusion or getting their feelings hurt again.

If you find that this is not something that they can handle and they also keep trying to make you stay, maybe it is better to avoid staying friends and going your separate ways. It might be difficult for them at first, but eventually they will also understand that staying friends would have been unfair to both of you.

Finding the Right Words to Let Someone Down Easy

Breakups are never easy and letting someone down, even if you haven't dated for long can be one of the hardest things to do. If you have experienced rejection yourself, you must be struggling with your feelings and you might feel compelled to stay.

It is important to remember that if something feels off, you should be honest with yourself and find the best way to tell the other person the truth. Being with someone who is not as invested is worse than being with someone who isn't as emotionally invested as you are so letting someone down easy is the best option.

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