Last Updated 28.10.2022
11 min read

Tips on How to Get Over Unrequited Love

Alan Schin (he/him/his) is the Chief Editor at Taimi. He wears several hats daily as a writer, editor, blogger, and content contributor. He began his university studies as a Psychology student but found his passion in Advanced Communication Studies. Alan loves having the opportunity to write and help our content team shine. According to Alan, his education helps him to understand the dynamics behind dating and socialization better. When he isn’t busy with Taimi, Alan works on his first novel, a sci-fi thriller, and creates works of art in his ceramics studio.

Falling for someone who doesn't feel the same way and getting over unrequited love can be very difficult. You might have developed strong feelings for this one person and getting over them without getting to call them yours can really hurt.

If you are trying to overcome your unreciprocated love story and all you want is to move on, there are quite a few things you can do in order to feel better. Here are some tips on getting over unrequited love and holding those intense feelings at bay.

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Table of Content

    Signs You’re Experiencing Unrequited Love

    Sometimes, you just know when your suspicions are true and the other person is not invested in having a relationship with you. No matter how interested you might be in them, they might just not be the right person for you.

    If you're looking for some signs of whether this romantic interest is not reciprocating your feelings, here are some signs to keep an eye out for.

    You Always Initiate Your Conversations

    If you are always the one reaching out to talk to them or plan to meet, this can be a pretty clear indicator that they are not as invested in the relationship as you are. While they might love spending time with you as friends, they might not want to give you the wrong impression or they might have actually realized you like them as more than friends.

    This can be a reason why they never seem to want to reach out to you in order to spend time together. If they saw you as a potential love interest, they would be much more likely to reach out to you and want to talk to you as frequently as possible.

    They Never Put Your First

    Prioritizing you and your feelings should be something a potential partner would put a lot of focus on. They would want you to see that you are a priority in their life and that no matter what might happen they will always be there.

    If you see that the person you have feelings for is not prioritizing seeing you or being there for you when you need them, you might have to accept that they are not romantically interested in you.

    They Give You Mixed Signals

    If they appear all interested for one minute and then ignore you for days, this person might just be interested in getting your attention. This is something that is difficult to realize, especially when you get caught up in how nice they are to you when they pay attention to you.

    Some people just like to flirt a lot and bounce around people simply because they crave attention. They might even want to see if they can make you fall for them or they might not be able to decide between you and another person.

    You certainly don't deserve this treatment and if you notice such a pattern, it might be better to step back as this will most likely not lead to the romantic relationship you are expecting.

    Overcoming Romantic Rejection One Step at a Time

    If you have noticed any of the previous points when it comes to the person you are interested in, you might have finally decided that you need to get over them. Sometimes you just know they will not be able to give you the love you need or they might just not be the person you expected.

    Despite the reason, here are some important tips to follow in order to overcome this rejection and find yourself and your true happiness once again.

    “Let no one who loves be called altogether unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow.”

    ― J.M. Barrie, The Little Minister

    Understand That This Is Not Your Fault

    First and foremost, you need to remind yourself that this is not your fault in any way. Sometimes things don't work out and not everyone we have a crush on will share mutual feelings. This doesn't mean that you did something to drive them away over the course of your friendship.

    Falling in love with someone doesn't always mean they will be able to return those feelings in the way you wish. When you experience unrequited love, it usually is a result of both of you being in different places and while it might be painful to deal with, it is not your fault and you shouldn't blame yourself for developing feelings for this person.

    Go No Contact for at Least a Month

    The next step you need to take when dealing with unrequited love is distancing yourself from this person. Make sure that you tell your common friends that you want to take a step back and pay attention to your own mental health and wellbeing.

    It can be very hard to pretend to be friendly with someone you are romantically interested in, especially when you know they will not be able to return those feelings. In order to save yourself from that hurt, make sure you avoid seeing them or talking to them for at least a month.

    Explain to Them That You Need Space

    When it comes to going no contact for some time, you need to keep in mind that the other person might not always understand why you are choosing to stay away. If they don't know that you had feelings for them, they might also be hurt and confused by the situation.

    If they know about your romantic feelings, they will have a much easier time understanding why you need some distance. If they don't you might want to consider letting them know how you feel. This is not always easy but it can help you know for sure how they feel and they would be much more likely to understand why you need to spend time apart.

    If you don't think you have the courage to go through this process right now, you will have to explain to them that you need some space from people in your life in order to put yourself and your mental health first. If they say you as a close friend, putting it this way might make it a little easier for them to understand.

    Allow Yourself Time to Grieve

    During the time you go no contact, you need to give yourself time to give this relationship and what could have been. The fact that you developed feelings for this individual means that you saw something in them that made you go past the friendship stage in your mind.

    This is a beautiful thing that can create deep feelings, but at the same time, it can be very difficult to overcome and forget. Give yourself the time to grieve the relationship, even if it was never a romantic one. You need to experience every feeling and be open with your emotions. This is the healthiest way to overcome unrequited love.

    Distract Yourself However You Can

    When dealing with such difficult emotions, you will need to find ways to keep yourself busy so you don't get caught up in the moment. The idea of going for a walk or spending time outside might sound silly, but it is actually very effective in keeping you distracted.

    If you start feeling upset or like your thoughts are becoming too much to deal with, reach out to some close friends and spend some time outside the house. Going for a walk and breathing some fresh air can be amazing for clearing your head and taking a break from your thoughts.

    Talk to a Friend or Therapist

    When you're dealing with something painful, never forget that you have people in your life that care about you. You might feel like you don't want to bring more people into this or affect other relationships, but you should always talk about the pain you are experiencing.

    If you feel like you are not able to open up to a friend about this, you can always turn to professional help in order to open up about this unrequited love issue. Therapy will always help you process these thoughts and emotions a lot easier and help you overcome the pain and longing associated with unrequited love.

    Focus On Other Important Relationships

    Another thing you can turn to instead of thinking about your crush and all their attractive qualities is relationships in your life that you deem important. For example, you can book a weekend getaway for you and your best friend or go spend a day or two with your parents.

    The person or people you choose to be around is not the most important thing in this case. The truth is that isolating yourself and cutting others off while you're grieving this crush is never a good sign. You should not lose those loyal to you because someone else is not able to love you as you need.

    Appreciate the relationships you currently have and the unrequited love will become easier to leave in the past. Social rejection won't lead you to heal and get the future relationship you desire. Going through the pain alone is never the right answer.

    Do More Things for Yourself

    Along with spending more time with your friends, you should also find happiness in things you always enjoyed doing. Take yourself out on a date and get a new outfit. Respond to invitations when your friends ask you out and find time to exercise and do more things for you.

    Heartbreak is sadly a pain that most of the world will experience and as much as this might hurt, you should prioritize your happiness and well-being above everything else. Make it your business to take care of yourself and use this as a sign to always put yourself first.

    Start Going on Dates Again

    When it comes to putting yourself out there again, you should think hard about when it makes sense to start going on dates again. Deciding to meet new people shortly after the unrequited love situation might not be good for you or fair to the people you will go on dates with. When the pain is too fresh, you might use dating as an escape or to get back at your crush, but this is not a good idea or solution.

    The only thing you will achieve is getting yourself into a circle of dates that never seems good enough. You might ask mutual friends to set you up and you might end up taking these unsuccessful dates as a sign you are doing something wrong. In reality, all you need is time alone to process your thoughts and overcome the hurt that this unrequited love has caused.

    “Because, if you could love someone, and keep loving them, without being loved back . . . then that love had to be real. It hurts too much to be anything else.”

    ― Sarah Cross, Kill Me Softly

    Turn This Into a Learning Experience

    Last but not least, while you might not be able to do this right away, it is a good idea to try and take a few things away from this situation and turn them into a learning experience. You might come to find that you fall for people too fast or that you misinterpret their intentions. It might also be that your friendly nature makes people flirt with you more or take advantage of your kind heart.

    Despite the verdict, you should be kind to yourself and not throw blame either way. Unrequited love can truly cause pain and even somatosensory representations which can feel like the worst physical pain you have ever been through. Use this as a reminder to protect yourself and your heart in the future from this emotional and physical pain that can happen so unexpectedly.

    Finding Happiness Again Without That Person in Your Life

    Letting go of someone you had feelings for can be hard but at the same time, it's not impossible. Even if you have invested a lot into building a relationship with them, remember that they didn't really give you a lot back. The reality is that you are capable of giving a lot of love and this was just not the right person for you.

    Don't give up hope on romance and love just because one person wasn't able to become the one for you. Unrequited love hurts but you will soon feel happy again and this will have been a great learning experience that will prepare you for finding love again.

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