These kinds of situations happen way more often than you think and in order for a relationship to work, both people need to be available and able to make certain sacrifices. So how do you know if you are in the right person wrong time situation? Here are some signs to keep in mind.
Differentiate Between Love and Passion
First and foremost, you need to better understand the difference between the idea of love and passion. When you fall in love with someone, you are ready to make changes and out any fear and worry you have behind in order to be with this person. Love is something that comes much later in a relationship and is based on knowing the other person well.
You fall in love with their thoughts, the way they see the world, and how they do all those small things that no one else notices but you. You feel a true connection, you are able to spend every minute of every day together and never get bored and you want to put in the work and you truly know they are the right person for you because they show you how much they care.
If you are experiencing passion, this is a much more physical situation and it doesn't necessarily mean this individual is the right person for you. Ask yourself a few things about them. Do you know about their likes and dislikes? Have you met their family? Do you know intimate details about their life they haven't shared with others?
These are just some examples that can show you that you might not be in love with this person after all. Loving someone takes time and while they might not be the wrong person at the wrong situation, you should still remember that you don't have to devote all your time and energy if they are not willing to do the same.
Right person wrong time is definitely a thing.
— TONI TONE (@t0nit0ne) March 29, 2019
It's idealistic to believe that the right person always aligns with the right timing. In fact, sometimes it's us that has the timing issue. Sometimes we need to develop on our own so we can be better for ourselves and them.
You are in Different Places Right Now
One of the things that can help you realize whether you're in a situation with someone who seems like the right person for you but it's the wrong time is when you both are in different places right now. This can actually mean two things. One, you are literally in a different state from one another, or even a different country and lead very different lives, or two, you are just looking for different things right now.
Not everyone is ready to jump into a long-distance committed relationship, and while this is sad and upsetting for one partner, it might be fair and honest coming from the other. Some people have a very hard time with distance and want to protect themselves and their loved ones from the potential heartbreak that can happen after some time.
When it comes to the second meaning, it is very frequent that people find themselves in situations where it is just the wrong time to be with someone. You might have just gotten a scholarship to the university you always wanted or landed your dream job in another city. When other opportunities arise that you have been wanting for a while, it might just be very bad timing, even if you are convinced they are the right person at the wrong occasion.
A lot of people are prepared to fight through the distance and the difficulties in order to be with a partner that they really care about. Others are scared about getting hurt and don't know if it is worth working through all the difficulties just to be with one partner. Each person has different priorities in their lives and might want to stay on track and determined so they can achieve a better future.
No matter the reason, sometimes things just don't work out the way you imagine them, even if two people really care about each other. Compromise is not always easy and being involved with someone while working hard to achieve a big career goal can be impossible for certain people.
There is a Big Age Gap Between You
Something a lot of couples go through when it comes to age gap relationships is not being on the same side about where they see their lives together. Even if you love someone very much, if they don't want the same things in life you can simply not make the relationship successful.
This doesn't mean that they are necessarily the wrong person for you. For example, an older partner who already has had a full life and has formed a family in the past might not want to go through the process of starting another family or having more children. This is not just the wrong time for them as it might never change their point of view. It just means this individual lived their life and has different expectations from now on.
If this is something you are missing though, and you see yourself having kids in your life, you might understand this is a great person at the wrong time. Even if you want to be with them and spend your life with them, some things that either of you values too much to let go of will always pose a problem and come up frequently, even if you don't mean them to.
You can't suppress certain things and you can't change some things that your partner values so much. Instead of making each other hurt and ending up in fights that have no resolve, listen to your gut feeling and discuss them with your loved one in a serious tone. The right person at the wrong time is a reality you sometimes need to deal with like an adult.
“The right person, the wrong time. The right script, the wrong line. The right poem, the wrong rhyme, and a piece of you was never mine.” –K. Towne Jr.
They are Emotionally Unavailable
Another possible reason why you might be experiencing the right person at the wrong time is that one of you might not be emotionally available to the other. There is always the possibility the two of you met at the wrong time or reconnected at the wrong time, after a big loss in their life or a difficult breakup.
There is also the possibility that this is just how the person is when it comes to their relationships. No matter how funny and interesting they might be, they might just not want to discuss their emotions. Sometimes this is tied to a fear of being vulnerable. Other times, it is linked to their upbringing and how they just don't know how to communicate these feelings.
In order for a relationship to happen and be a healthy one, both people need to be prepared to stay true to one another and be the best version of themselves to make it work. If one cannot open up and be vulnerable around the other, the relationship won't go too far.
For some, all this takes to help them overcome this issue is support and unconditional love. Others have a much harder time feeling this way, and this might make their partners feel disconnected and like they are missing something from the relationship.
If the one you consider your perfect person in the wrong situation is honest about not being able to give themselves to you in this way and is vulnerable and open about their emotions, it is no wonder the relationship will struggle. While you might have a true connection and be able to sense each other's needs, if they decline your efforts to understand them and discuss how certain situations make you feel, this missing communication will make it very difficult for you to be together.
They don't Want to Make Changes
Some people are just way too comfortable being who they are and staying put in their job, life, house, or anything else that is stable and secure. Making changes might just be impossible and they are not willing to change a single thing, no matter how in love they might seem. The right person at the wrong time might be the one who is in such a situation right now.
They are in love with you, talk about being with you but want you to put all the work into moving in with them and being closer to their bubble. On the other hand, you have ambitions about your career and you want them to move with you somewhere else in order for both of you to have better career opportunities.
These circumstances lead to understanding that this is probably the wrong time and in the end, you recognize that they are just not able to change their course right now. This might be a sign that they need more time to grow and understand how the connection between you might need more change on their end.
Not everyone will be able to do this and not everyone will understand that it is wrong of them to not want to change anything in order to make this relationship between you work. No matter what happens that makes them want to stay in a bubble without change, you cannot just sit there and be patient until the right time they decide it's no longer bad timing and they want to start putting in the work too.
Whether this is the wrong or right time, timing is not always the only thing that matters when deciding if someone is the right or wrong one for you.
“There is no wrong or right timing in love. The right person is timeless; because we will make time to let them into our lives.” – Susanna Georgiou
