What is dating don’t? It’s any dating behavior that is weird, creepy, self-sabotaging, red-flag raising, or otherwise indicates that your judgment is seriously suspect.
Now, to be clear we aren’t writing this to judge you (okay maybe a little). In fact, you can bet that we’ve done some of these things ourselves. We just want you to learn from our own embarrassing mistakes.
So, let’s get down to it! Are you doing these things while dating? Stop it. Seriously.
Look, it doesn’t matter how well you hit things off. No sane person wants to meet your friends and family right away. If they want to, it’s probably a red flag. If you’re the one pushing these introductions, you are the red flag. Reevaluate your life. It’s a date, not a lifetime commitment. Put the Uhaul away Patti.
We get it. You’ve found a member of your “tribe”. That’s exciting. It’s downright miraculous if you live in a small town. You’re tempted to do every bit of mental gymnastics to convince yourself that you can connect with this person.
However, being gay isn’t a type. Instead of jumping on every fabulous bandwagon that makes its way down your street, try finding some people that you really have a connection with.
Don’t let a great first day or two lead you down the wrong path. Sure, it’s been a lonely couple of years for all of us. Going too fast isn’t going to help with that. Avoid asking to be exclusive or saying I love you too quickly.
And please, please, please don’t jump the gun and change your relationship status. Trust us. It freaks people out. Just ask Uhaul Patti. She knows.
Most gay people have experienced bullying. Because of this, we can be a bit harsh and abrupt. Don’t let your catty persona become your signature. Just because it’s funny on Drag Race doesn’t mean it is going to go over well in real life.
Don’t use your online dating persona as your personal Mary Sue. Be honest and authentic. Otherwise, you have to keep up the persona. That is just exhausting. Chances are, you are perfectly awesome as it is. Somebody out there will genuinely like you as you are. Stop faking it.
Of course, this is just a small sampling. Let’s be honest. Our people can be absolutely terrible at relationships. In all seriousness, there are reasons for that. We collectively deal with a lot of trauma. Also, many of us don’t have the same opportunities as we grow up to date normally and work out all of these stupid mistakes. Instead, we stay in the closet or date on the down-low.
If you think about it, we’re actually pretty well adjusted! So don’t worry if you’re a bit of a dating wreck. Just celebrate that you are out and in the game.
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