Gay - What is it? What Does it Mean?

Terminology

There are some words that you should know to understand this topic. These are commonly used in the resource material used to write this wiki entry, and are repeated within this piece. Every effort has been made to cover the full meaning of each of these words. However, it is important to understand that language evolves. Also, the meaning of a term can be subjective based on culture, location, era, and even personal preference.

Gay

The word gay is a term used to refer to those whose sexual orientation or sexual preference differs from what is considered to be the norm. Many different kinds of sexual orientations fall under this terminology. However, the dominant use of the word is as a descriptor referring to men who experience deep, ongoing, emotional and sexual attraction to other men.

Homosexual or Homosexuals

Homosexual is a term often used to describe the sexual identity of gay men or men who experience sexual and romantic attraction towards other men. It may also refer to lesbian women.

In the past, clinical literature used terms like homosexuals and homosexuality to imply that gay guys were mentally ill or deviant. Because of this queer communities sometimes see the word as offensive. The same is true for derivatives like homo. The word can also seem clinical and objectifying, similar to referring to women as females. Most prefer gay as the word to refer to men with same-gender attractions.

Lesbian

The term lesbian is used to describe a gay woman or girl who is sexually and romantically attracted to other women. In casual use, a lesbian may be called a gay woman. Although that is less commonly used now.

Asexual

Asexual people are described as being people who experience very little if any sexual or romantic attraction to others regardless of the way they choose to identify their gender. Some people may define themselves as ace even if they are sometimes attracted to others sexually.

Aromantic

Aromantic is a lack of romantic feelings or attractions.

Bisexual

The term bisexual is used to describe a person who experiences attraction to more than one gender.

Pansexual

The terms pansexual and bisexual are very similar, however pansexual removes the binary from the equation, which means that the phrase pansexual refers to people who can experience sexual and romantic attraction to anyone regardless of their gender.

Gay Pride

This is a phrase used to describe a sense of belonging that all gay people feel across the gay community. During June in the United States, many gay folks celebrate their individuality and acceptance by dressing up, sporting the colors of the flags used to represent their sexual orientation or gender identity, and participating in festivals where any gay person can showcase their pride and hope for a better future.

Genders And Sexes

Gender and sex are often used interchangeably in discussions about gay folks and their preferences. Although each term has its own meaning there is also a historical association between the two. As we develop a deeper understanding of the differences between genders and sexes, the word gender is more commonly used. At the same time, because some gay individuals have a strong preference for male anatomy, body parts are a part of the equation for them.

History

Every human culture has had men and women who were gay. Whether gays were accepted or not has varied throughout history and from one culture to another. It's also important to understand that history is written by those in power. That has resulted in a lot of gay erasure in history and literature.

We know that there have been gay politicians, artists, military leaders, musicians, and writers throughout history. Many past cultures also accepted gays openly. In others, an openly gay man would not have been accepted.

In fact, men in the public eye have been pressured to hide the fact that they were not straight throughout history in many cultures. That still happens today. It was common for a queer man to take a woman as his partner or "beard" to throw off rumors

While it is important to recognize and honor the contributions of gay, historical figures and gay culture, it's also important to counter false beliefs about gay history. For example, people often refer to intimate contact between masters and slaves, military officers and prisoners of war, people in positions of power and those subservient to them. These acts were not consensual, and often did not involve men who identified as gay. Labeling these acts as "gay" perpetuates the myth that men who are gay are inherently predatory or violent. Not all contact between one male and another is gay.

The First Pride

June 28th, 1969 was the date of the Stonewall riot and what many gay people consider to be the very first pride. In the 1950s and 60s the legal system that was set up was incredibly anti-minority, and the rise of the gay rights movement rose alongside the civil rights movement for African Americans, the Anti War Demonstrations, and of course the rejection of the anti-minority culture that had developed during the 1950's and 1960's.

Many establishments would refuse to give services to gay people. Although many states and counties made it legal to be gay over the years it wasn't until the date of June 26th, 2003 that the Supreme Court made it legal for homosexual people to exist openly and without fear across the country.

The Stonewall Inn was a gay bar run by the Mafia that offered services to some of the most marginalized members of the gay community. These would include drag queens, effeminate gay men, hustlers, prostitutes, the homeless, and members of the transgender community.

Due to homosexuality being considered a criminal offense, it was very common for many gay bars and establishments to be raided by the police. However, on June 28th 1969 when police raided the Stonewall Inn, many of the clientele were incited to fight back.

This caused an uprising of some of the most marginalized members of the queer community, and over the course of 5 consecutive nights were many displays of queer activism and a demand for civil rights that caused a lot of tension between the police and the members of the LGBTQIA community. Today, when faced with the corporate takeover of Pride, people will refer to Stonewall to remind people that revolution should always be the center theme.

Homosexuality and Mental Illness

Although it had apparently been classified as a mental disorder long before this, the first official record of same-sex attraction being considered to be a mental illness came from the "Statistical Manual for the Use of Institutions of the Insane" which was first published in 1918. Although it didn't directly list the word gay or homosexual as a mental disorder, there was a condition listed called "constitutional psychopathic inferiority (sans psychosis)". This mental disorder was often described as a "large group of pathological personalities including sexual perversions."

In the 1935 edition of the "Standard Nomenclature of Disease" the words gay and homosexual were classified as a pathological sexuality, and as a psychopathic personality trait.

In 1952 the "Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders" (DSM) listed Homosexuality as a mental disorder from the very first copy published. This was left unchallenged until the gay liberation movements that followed the Stonewall Rebellion in 1969, in which gay rights activists directly challenged the diagnosis.

In 1973 in response to these challenges, the DSM removed "Homosexuality" from its list of mental disorders and replaced it with a term that described those who feel distress or anxiety about their sexuality. "Ego-Dystonic Sexual Orientation". This diagnosis remained in the book under different names until the DSM-5 was published in 2013.

The HIV and Aids Epidemic

There will always be a deep and painful association between the gay community and the AIDS epidemic. The first case of AIDS in America was recorded in San Francisco in 1981. The epidemic that followed and the treatment of that epidemic at every level is sad evidence of just how much gay men were stigmatized by society. In fact, until researchers discovered that this disease was not strictly a disease of men who were gay, it was referred to as GRID (Gay Related Auto-Immune Disease).

Even with that discovery, AIDS and HIV were considered to be a gay illness. This meant that:

• Research dollars were denied that delayed effective treatments
• Schools and employers were allowed to discriminate against people with HIV or AIDS
• Hospitals often refused to treat or provided subpar services to men with AIDS
• Funeral homes turned away the bodies of people who died of AIDS
• Families refused to provide care to members with AIDS

It did not help that the Reagan administration failed to meaningful address the crisis. This was driven by many factors, including his homophobia. He believed that the disease primarily impacted gay men, sex workers, and IV drug users, groups his supporters didn't care about.

Eventually, people who were gay and their allies began to build community and advocate for themselves. Act Up! an activist group engaged in protests, acts of civil disobedience, and other forms of activism to pressure the government, health insurance companies, and others to do something about the AIDS crisis. Their services didn't just benefit gays. The group created needle exchanges and services that helped homeless people obtain healthcare.

Some of the most important work activists did during this time was pressuring the FDA to allow access to experimental drugs and to push through the approval of drugs used to treat AIDS. Thanks to this work, fewer people are diagnosed with HIV than in the past, and this disease is no longer a death sentence.

History of The Word Gay

There is a common myth that the LGBTQIA+ community co-opted the word "gay", changing its common use from happy or joyful to its current use as a reference to sexuality. The reality is much more complex and much less linear. For example, there is no exact date on which gay came into its modern use.

There is evidence of the word gay referencing intimate activity as far back as the 14th century. In the 1700s a gay house was a brothel. People would refer to a prostitute as a gay woman. In the 19th century, there were young homeless men who would wander around in search of work. When they found jobs, they would frequently work just long enough earn wages that they and friends would spend on revelry. A young man living this way might be called a gay cat or a gey cat (Scottish Variant). This phrase may have been connected to sexual behavior as these inexperienced men would sometimes associate with older homeless men exchanging work and intimate acts for protection.

Flag and Symbols

Gay/ LGBTQIA Pride Flag (Original Version)

The very first rainbow pride flag was created by San Francisco artist, Gilbert Baker in 1968. This flag had 8 stripes with colors that held different meanings, all of which held importance to gay identifying people.

Pink - to represent sexuality

Red - to represent life

Orange - to represent healing

Yellow - to represent the sun, many gays also associate this to symbolize hope for a brighter future

Green - to represent serenity with nature

Turquoise - to represent art

Indigo - to represent harmony

Violet - to represent spirit

Gay Pride Flag (Current Version)

Over the years due to lack of materials the colors turquoise and pink were removed from the flag and the indigo on many of the flags were replaced with a deep blue color. To this day the Pride flag has 6 stripes and is considered to be separate from the progress pride flag. This flag is the most popular and often at the center of Pride celebrations.

Progress Pride Flag

The progress pride flag was made back in 2018 by the artist Daniel Quasar, a non binary member of the community who used the base of the 6 striped pride flag and added black, brown, blue, white, and pink stripes in order to represent POC and trans folks, both groups of which are often the most marginalized in the communities. This flag was made to represent inclusion and diversity of the LGBTQIA+ spectrum.

The Pink Triangle (Symbol Used by Gay Guys)

The pink triangle was originally used by Nazi Germany to label gay people, or those who experienced some form of same sex attraction. However the Nazi party's persecution of gay individuals started long before WW2 and the holocaust. In 1871, there was a section of German criminal law that stated "men who engaged in acts of indecency could go to jail" Of course due to a confession being required from those who "broke" this particular law, this law was often unable to be enforced and because of this Germany became a safe haven for a gay man as long as he was secretive.

In the 1930's this would end with the rise of Hitler, who saw gay men as a threat to his plan to purify Germany. The law from 1871 was revised, making it illegal for men to look at, touch, or have any sort of contact with each other that could be considered to be sexual or suggestive in any way. This would enable police to be able to arrest gay men based on nothing but rumors about same sex activity.

It is estimated that over 100,000 men were arrested between 1933 and 1945, and somewhere between 5000, and 15000 men were sent to concentration camps for being gay. Unfortunately due to a lack of documentation, and a sense of shame that kept many in silence over the years, the actual number of men who were killed is not fully understood.

To this day many gay people will wear the pink triangle to represent the solidarity of their communities. As well as a reminder of the past and how the dark points of history caused by homophobia should not be allowed to be repeated.

Am I a Gay Person?

Exploring your sexuality should come from within - no one other than yourself can tell you if you're gay or not. Still, it may not be so simple. Figuring out your orientation can take some time, patience, and introspection.

Maybe you can start by asking if you've ever been attracted to someone of the same sex. Attraction can come in many forms, not just sexual. Perhaps just the idea of being with someone of the same gender romantically is a pleasant thought. 

In a sexual sense, you can bring up past experiences, if you have any, and reflect on them. If you don't, maybe you can consider the experience from an abstract perspective and try to understand if it's something that you would enjoy.

Sometimes, all you need is to reflect on the subject, and with time, answers should be coming to you effortlessly. Of course, it can be challenging or even scary at times, but try to be patient with yourself. Whatever you do, don't shame yourself for thinking or feeling a certain way.

If you feel like it, go ahead and experiment

When we say experiment, we don't mean forcefully. There's a right time and place for everything, and you may want to wait for the right opportunity or person to experiment with. If that means watching out for someone you'd feel comfortable with, that's okay, too.

Either way, experimenting with same-sex relationships should give you a better idea of whether this is part of your sexuality or not. Just keep in mind that if you have an unpleasant experience with someone of the same gender, that doesn't mean that all same-sex relations will be bad for you.

Welcome change and fluctuation

Our concept of self goes through many changes throughout our lives, and these transformations often involve our sexual and amorous interests. You may find yourself less inclined to same-sex relationships at a certain stage of your life, and more inclined later on.

This also means that it's possible that you may have seen yourself having a certain orientation for a long time, and suddenly you discovered a new impulse, a new desire for same-sex relationships. Maybe a specific person sparked this attraction in you.

However it may be, fluctuations in orientation are perfectly normal and part of our healthy development as human beings. We're not confused if we find ourselves feeling differently over the course of time, which is the same as saying that being sexually confused isn't really a bad thing after all.

Embrace curiosity

The term bi-curious is a perfect example of a very common feeling of desiring to explore our intimate feelings in a way we haven't contemplated or fully understood yet. It is healthy and freeing to be in touch with the feelings that attract us.

Even if we find that, in the end, it didn't end up being how we expected it to be, that's part of the process. As we keep exploring, we keep finding new and more interesting parts of ourselves, which is always wholesome.

In general, the more liberty we give our thoughts and the more spontaneous we let our actions be, the more in sync we become with our true selves. As a consequence, we turn into more conscious individuals, with freedom, tranquility, and happiness by our side.

The less we censor ourselves, the better we feel

Don't let seemingly scary thoughts get in the way of your self-discovery. Your emotions and way of thinking are as valid as they can be, no matter what they are. Prejudice can act as a barrier even in the intimacy of our minds.

If we let it, that is! It's just a matter of persevering with ourselves and letting spontaneity take the place of fear and apprehension. With time, even the most unusual thoughts can become natural and healthy - it's just a matter of tolerance and perspective.

Accept yourself either way

It's okay to feel confused or disoriented. Our identity is a complex topic, and it can be hard to just attribute labels to ourselves. Just remember that no matter the word you use to describe yourself, you are worthy of respect and appreciation. 

Gay, bisexual, heterosexual, asexual, pansexual, aromantic - whoever you are, you are you; and that is enough.

Heteronormativity and Homosexuality

Heteronormativity is the belief that heterosexuality is the only natural or acceptable behavior or orientation to have. It is a form of homophobia that implicitly and explicitly foments the discrimination of gay people and the LGBTQIA+ community in general.

These heteronormative values, promoted by many religions and moral standards, marginalize non-heterosexual behavior on topics from adoption to marriage, creating a truly toxic and debilitating space for gay, lesbian, transgender, and non-binary people.

Conversion and Reparative Therapies

From heteronormativity, conversion and reparative therapies were born in an attempt to correct homosexuality or bisexuality. Their practice proved to be not only ineffective but also profoundly dangerous and conceivably damaging to the subject's psychological and physical well-being. 

As homosexuality stopped being considered as a mental disorder, such types of treatments were deemed unethical and thus made illegal in many countries. 

Homosexuality in Media

Media also plays a huge role in how society perceives the ideal form of love or the acceptable display of affection. As most mainstream shows lack diversity and representation, gayness is yet to be normalized in radio, television, cinema, and even advertising.

With shows like Sex Education becoming worldwide sensations, mentalities seem to be changing, even among the most conservative minds. Inclusive marketing is now a thing, and advertising is more aware of diversity than ever.

Paradigm Shift

Thankfully, with more accepting laws being approved worldwide, in many places, gay marriage is now legal, adoption by homosexual couples is now possible.

All in all, so many positive changes older LGBTQ+ generations never thought possible have taken place. But we've come a long way, and although heteronormativity seems to prevail all around us, slowly but surely, prejudice and discrimination are being defeated.

Religion and Homosexuality

It's important to make clear that not all religions flagrantly punish homosexuality or condemn it. Despite the discriminatory values promoted by many religions, it's wrong to assume that each and every religion is homophobic. 

Moreover, each religion approaches the subject in different ways. Some even have a positive outlook on queerness and are often referred to as gay-affirming religious groups, such as Unitarian Universalism.

Conservative Islam forbids homosexuality and even attributes the death penalty to the homosexual interpretation of Sharia Law. But even within Islam, it is possible to find LGBTQ-affirming Islamic subgroups, for example, Muslims for Progressive Values.

Other religions seem to be divided on the topic, such as Buddhism and Hinduism. However, leaders of these religious groups have come forth about gay rights. It appears that the tendency is for tolerance and acceptance to prevail.

Interestingly, many LGBT themes can be found in mythology and ancient traditions. Mythologies of the Americas, in particular, had intense positive references to homosexuality, for example, the Maya, Aztec, Native American, and Inuit cultures.

How to Support Gay People

There are things you can do to help your friends who are gay.

Giving Your Support Publicly

• Purchase books and watch shows made by people who identify as LGBTQIA+
• Make donations to foundations made to support gay people.
• Speak out against discrimination, such as the word gay being used as a euphemism for the word stupid
• Volunteer at your local gay youth center or organization
• Advocate for policies that benefit queer folks such as partner benefits

Learn to Engage in Activism

You don't have to be LGBTQIA+ to advocate equality and human rights. The key is to learn how to be an activist in a way that genuinely helps:

• Amplify rather than speaking on behalf of communities
• Avoid main character syndrome where you center your stories and experiences
• Focus on breaking down systems of homophobia
• Recognize straight privilege as systemic and not a personal attack
• Remember that your meaning and intent don't matter as much as your impact

Giving Your Support Privately

Across the world, being gay is starting to be perceived in a better light. However, there are many who feel unsafe showing their support publicly due to laws and regulations in the area that they live in. As well as family members who view queer folks as undesirable. There are ways to give your support away from the public eye.

• Research the companies you buy from and make a conscious effort to not support companies that are anti-LGBTQ+
• Buy products and services from brands that are genuinely queer friendly
• Stay informed about what is going on in the world