Femboy – What is it? What does it mean?

A femboy is someone under 30 years who is biologically male that presents themselves in a (very) feminine manner, through their behaviour and physical appearance, or in a manner that would traditionally be regarded as feminine or effeminate. Femboys are typically under the age of 30, although this is not a hard requirement.

Femboy is a term meaning a young man, usually under the age of 30, who identifies as a man but displays their gender expression in a more feminine manner. This includes wearing conventionally feminine feminine clothing, or acting in a way that is considered to be traditionally feminine.

Terminology

Here is a definition of femboy along with some other related terms. It’s helpful to know these as a foundation and avoid getting confused when talking about this topic.

Femboy

The term femboy is a contraction of the words femme and boy. Femboy’s are usually cis men, and under the age of 30. They are defined as young men who lean towards femme gender expression, but don’t identify as women themselves. Rosboy is another term used to describe a femboy.

Tomboy

Tomboy is a term that is essentially the opposite of Femboy. Tomboys are usually cis women who lean towards masculine traits when it comes to their gender expression, but don’t identify as men themselves.

Twink

A term often used by gay men that describes men who defy masculinity and embrace traits that are often considered to be femme. While body type is not a defining factor, many associate the word with men who are slender or petite.

Transgender

A person who identifies with a gender identity they were not assigned at birth.

Nonbinary

A person who tends to identify from a variety of gender identity terms that aren’t masculine or feminine. Many similar terms include genderfluid, agender, bigender, and more.

Androgynous

A person who does not display traditional masculine or feminine traits

Intersex

A person whose reproductive or physical anatomy does not fit into the gender binary

Femboy Aesthetic

A modern slang term that is used to describe the way a man who is an lgbtq person may express themselves in a feminine way. This can include femboy outfits, makeup styles, and more.

Ladyboy

A term that refers to an Asian trans femme person.

History

Femboy was originally a derogatory term that originate in the 1990’s. It was often used to ridicule, insult, and degrade those for their sexual orientation, those who can be described as cross dressers, insult men who presented themselves in a feminine way, or denigrate any cis men who happened to show any traits of femininity.

Over the years, and gaining even more tractions during the 2010’s, femboy as a term began to develop a more positive meaning. As the LGBTQ community began to embrace the phrase as a way to describe a form of expressing gender identity.

In 2017 a flag was created for the femboy community as a way to portray those who identify as a femboy in a positive way. Unfortunately, despite the positive changes and heightened acceptance, femboy is still a term that is often used in a derogatory fashion. Many who use the term in a derogatory way use it to make fun of, degrade, ridicule, and insult young boys and men who present themselves in a femme way. Therefore, it is important to be aware of who you use the term around, as well as the context you use it in.

Pronouns

Femboy is considered to be more of a form of gender presentation and expression than it is considered to be a form of gender identity or sexual orientation. A femboy may have the appearance and may present themselves as feminine by dressing in skirts, dresses, and other traditionally feminine pieces of clothing and accessories. However, pronouns do have an important spot in all parts of community and it is important to know and understand them in order to remain respectful of someone’s identity. The femboy community does not have a set pronoun used to describe them.

Femboys should also not be assumed to be any specific sexuality either. Although most of the time those who are femboys are portrayed as young gay men, femboys can also be asexual, gay, bisexual, and even though it is rare they can even be heterosexual or straight.

Groups of people often adopt symbols and flags with different colours and designs as a way to express pride in their identity. Often, these contribute to a group aesthetic that can help build a sense of community.

Flag and Symbols

Groups of people often adopt symbols and flags with different colours and designs as a way to express pride in their identity. Often, these contribute to a group aesthetic that can help build a sense of community.

Femboy Flag (Created By Jay)

This flag is heavily based off of the transgender flag. It uses a single blue stripe to represent those who are men or who identify as men. The pink stripes represent femininity, as well as gender non conformity. The white stripes are used to represents those who are non binary and who identify as femboys.

As mentioned before, the femboy flag was created in 2017, although it is not sure by whom. The light blue in the flag refers to the “(young) boy-ness” or masculinity in a femboy. At the same time, there is only one stripe of light blue, to show that the person does not feel a strong connection to the masc part of one’s gender identity. Both pink stripes refer to femininity, “girl-ness” or otherwise feminine presentation, and it is on both sides on the outside because it is often the first thing associated with femboys (through clothing or behavior). The white stripes represent transgender, non-binary, and other femboys.

Femboy Flag (Created by Mod Hermy)

This purple and green gradient flag was created sometime around January 19, 2018. The green gradient is supposed to represent masculine traits and neutrality. While the purple gradient is meant to represent the different degrees and intensities of femininity.

User ZRKMRK from the LGBTQIA+ wiki created this flag in 2021. It features pink that is meant to be femme and orange from the femboy Hooters meme. There is also a horizontal version of the traditional male symbol. The white represents nonbinary femboys.

Am I a femboy?

Femboy is a term used to describe people who are usually assigned male at birth who have a preference or affinity for feminine fashion, makeup, accessories, and mannerisms. However, having an affinity towards these is not necessarily an indicating factor of being a femboy. Some people actively resist the gendering of clothes, hair, cosmetics etc. They may decide to eschew labels like femboy because of that, and simply prefer to adopt whatever style of dress that appeals to them.

Note: not every femboy was assigned male at birth. Trans men can also be femboys.

There are also those who identify as being a femboy who don’t wear clothing designed for women, and who don’t exhibit feminine behaviors until later in life. There are also those who enjoy the femboy aesthetic, and want to be a part of the community but have personal reasons to not do so. For example, they may feel unsafe wearing certain clothes or adopting a softer look. Some men may want to feel feminine, but not necessarily display that. So, they might engage in more discreet choices such as choosing to wear women’s panties, or putting on certain items in private. Ultimately the question of whether or not a person is a femboy is up to that person’s discretion.

If you want to explore your identity and ways to express yourself, there are communities out there that may be of interest to you. Look on platforms such as Reddit or Tumblr. Use your own discernment to avoid spaces that are exploitative in nature.

How to support femboys

First, keep in mind that femboy is a slang word, and often used as an insult towards people who are perceived as effeminate. Avoid using the word, but also respect that people may self-identify as femboys. That’s okay too.

If you know someone who identifies as a man but adopts a style that is traditionally feminine, simply accept that. Be a safe person with whom they can freely express themselves without fear of judgment or rejection. If you witness cruelty or unkindness related to another person’s style or mannerisms – say something. By communicating your disapproval out loud, you also help to establish yourself as someone who is safe and trustworthy.