Bisexual - What is it? What Does it Mean?

Definition of Bisexual

Bisexual is a term used to describe a person who experiences sexual attraction to both men and women. Although the term focuses primarily on a set gender binary, bisexual is now being used interchangeably with the phrase pansexual, and is used to describe the sexual orientation of a person who experiences sexual attraction to more than one gender identity. This person does not have to feel the same level of attraction to every gender identity to be bi.

Terminology

Let's take a look at some of the common phrases and terms we will see as we talk about bisexuality.

Bisexual

A sexual orientation used to describe a person who experiences attraction to more than one sex or gender identity. This term primarily focuses upon attraction to people within a specific binary, however it is commonly used by people who experience attraction to people outside of the binary as well. Bisexuality is often but not always experienced with Biromantic feelings.

Biromantic

Bisexual means a person is attracted to multiple genders. Biromantic is a phrase used to describe someone who experiences romantic attraction to more than one gender. This is often but not always experienced with bisexuality. It is also possible for someone to feel romantic attraction to several genders without being interested in having sexual contact.

Biphobia

The prejudice of people who identify as bisexual due to beliefs, fear, negative attitudes, and views of bisexual people. This can be felt and expressed explicitly through direct insults, violence, and deliberate inclusions. Implicit bias towards bisexuality may manifest in microaggressions, false assumptions, or avoidance. Anyone can be biphobic. Even bisexual people may feel self-hatred, criticize other bisexuals, or publicly claim other sexual orientations out of shame.

Gender Identity

A persons personal sense of their own gender. Each person chooses the term to describe their own gender, and that may include embracing multiple genders. A person's gender perception may change over time. A person may be bisexual no matter what their gender is. Two=spirit, nonbinary, and transgender people can be bisexual.

Binary

A term used to refer to the two genders that a person can have based on the established stereotypes of the biological sex binary. People who believe there are only two genders subscribe to the binary gender theory.

The word binary may also be used in discussions about sexuality. It was once believed that sexuality was a binary. Under that belief, bisexuality was often seen as a sign of confusion or even a halfway point between the two binary points.

Today, bisexuality is seen as its own, unique, orientation. However, some people see their sexuality as falling on a spectrum that includes a range of preferences and identities. For example some bisexual people have a stronger attraction to one gender over another gender.

Nonbinary

A term used to describe people whose gender identity exist outside of the binary. These people can have multiple genders and might be considered to be genderqueer, genderless, or genderfluid. Recognition of this identity has helped to dispel the myth that there are only two genders.

Romantic Orientation

A phrase used to describe a persons romantic attraction to people. For many, romantic attraction and sexual attraction align. For others, their own romantic feelings and orientations are separate from their sexual feelings. For example, a woman may have a bi romantic orientation and seek out other women for flirting and dating. At the same time, she only wants to have sex with men. Even asexual people can have a variety of romantic orientations.

Sexual Orientation

A phrase used to describe a persons sexual attraction to people. This term is going out of favor. Many today prefer sexual identity or preferences. A person's bisexuality or other sexual orientation is not determined by their sexual activity. A person can be gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual, or pansexual without ever having sex.

Pansexual

Pansexual means a person who experiences sexual attraction to people with more than one sex or of more than one gender. This term is sometimes used interchangeably with bisexual. Many consider pansexual people to be on the bisexuality spectrum. This is because they may be sexually attracted to people of any gender.

Demisexual

This is a sexual preference that is used to describe a person who must feel an emotional connection to a person before they feel a sexual attraction. 

Intersex

A phrase used to describe a person who was born with biological traits that fall outside of the binary. There are many ways a person can be considered to be intersex, some conditions can include micro penis, Ovotestes, Swyer Syndrome, and Turner Syndrome, among many others. People who are intersex can be gay, lesbian, bisexual, or any other identity.

Androgynous/Androgyny

A term used to describe a person who possesses either both masculine and feminine characteristics, or a person who possesses no masculine or feminine characteristics. A person who is androgynous is not always nonbinary, queer, or two or more genders. Someone may be androgynous because they choose to present that way. They may also have features associated with different genders because of genetics.

Lesbian

This is a cis or trans woman who experiences sexual attraction to other women.

Gay

This is a cis or trans man who experiences sexual attraction to other men.

Bisexual History

Bisexuality has always existed. Just like lesbian and other gay men and people have always been a part of society, so have bisexual men and women. It is particularly important to understand the history of bisexuality and acknowledge the accomplishments of bisexual individuals throughout time. Their stories have often been erased or obscured over time.

The beginnings of the Term Bisexual

Bisexual was first coined back in the year 1859 by an anatomist by the name of Robert Bentley Todd. This phrase was used to describe a person who had both male and female genitalia. Today the phrase intersex is used instead to describe anyone whose bodily traits fall outside of the binary.

At the turn of the 20th century, the term bisexual was used to describe people who were considered to be both masculine and feminine. Today the term androgynous is used to describe people with these characteristics instead.

In the 1910s, is when we see the term bisexual being used to describe a person's sexuality and romantic attraction to people of more than one gender or gender identity. However it would still be a while until the term bisexual would start to be universally used.

Bisexual Chic

The term bisexual chic emerged in the 1920s. It was used to describe women who were perceived as openly, sexually attracted to other women as well as men. Some famous women who were categorized this way were Ma Rainey, Bessie Smith, and Edna St. Vincent Millay.

Bisexual chic women frequently married and had families. However, they often carried out relationships with women, some more openly than others.

As we look back at women and consider their sexual orientation, it's important to consider historical context. On one hand, it's important not to erase someone's bisexual identity. At the same time, the prevalent culture did not allow people to fully express their sexuality. Today, it is very likely that a woman who identified as bi chic would be openly lesbian, pansexual, even trans.

The Bisexual Movement of The 1960s And 1970s

By the 1960s people were identifying as bisexual, and wanted that to be legitimized. Bisexual men and bisexual women also became more involved in the gay rights movement. Activists like Brenda Howard and Stephen Donaldson were two of the most prominent bisexual activists of the time with Howard forming the New York Area Bisexual Network.

In the 1970s, after the sexual revolutions of the 1960's and the rise of the gay rights movements, this word became more commonplace. It officially earned its spot in the LGBT community in the 1990's when September 23rd was declared to be Bisexual pride day.

The 70s was also a time in which many celebrities came out as bisexual. This includes David Bowie, Lou Reed of The Velvet Underground, and Freddie Mercury. The movie, The Rocky Horror Picture Show introduced audiences to the concept of multiple genders and bisexuality.

1980s The AIDS Pandemic And Bisexual Culture

It is impossible to discuss bisexual culture and the 1980s without taking a deep dive into the AIDS epidemic. While this was initially believed to be a disease impacting gay men only, the conversation around AIDS changed significantly when people outside of the LGBTQIA+ community began testing positive as well.

When this happened, bisexual men were frequently blamed for this. They were perceived as immoral, sexually promiscuous, and unfaithful. Political movements were formed to counter these perceptions and ensure the protection of bisexual people and their rights.

1990s The Mainstreaming of Bisexual People

By the 90s, bisexual awareness had increased. The show L.A. Law featured an openly bisexual characters. Other popular books and movies at the time also included characters who were either canonically bisexual or coded that way. Bisexual actor and comedian Sandra Bernhard famously kissed Mariel Hemingway on the sitcom Roseanne.

There is controversy over whether this mainstreaming was a good thing or not. Many of the portrayals were shallow. Bisexual women were often written with a straight male gaze. Often, the goal of including these characters seemed to be shock value, or creating a titillating moment. They were often written as oversexualized. The phrase "bisexual disaster" was coined to describe these characters who were impulsive, promiscuous, and often showed incredibly bad judgment. It is also notable that characters were almost always women.

This also had real world impacts. Bi people already struggled to find acceptance within the queer community. Now, they faced rejection and scorn because they were often accused of identifying as bisexual to be trendy. Both the straight and LGBTQIA+ communities engaged in bi-erasure by perpetuating the myth that bisexual people were simply confused and that the only two legitimate sexual orientations were straight and gay.

While this was happening in the mainstream, bisexual activism continued. People like Wendy Curry and Michael Page advocated for understanding, education, and inclusion. By 1999, bi visibility day was recognized in several countries.

The 2000s Continued But Slow Progress

In the 2000s, bisexual men and women continued to be featured in mainstream entertainment. Celebrities and others became more comfortable in being open about their sexual attractions. As time has gone on, representations of bisexual characters and real people have improved. It's become significantly easier to find complex, three dimensional portrayals.

In 2011, the APA (American Psychological Association) officially ceased categorizing bisexuality and homosexuality as pathologies. Despite the fact that bisexuals were perceived as an invisible minority, research showed that they are actually the largest portion of the LGBTQIA+ community.

How Bisexual Became Part of the Universal LGBTQ Dictionary

Before Bisexual became a common term, many people would use ratios to describe themselves. For example a bisexual lady who had a slight preference for men would describe themselves as a 60:40 Heterosexual: Homosexual.

Flag and Symbols

Like other members of the queer community, people who are bisexual have adopted flags and other symbols to represent them and show pride in their identity. Here are a few of these.

Bisexual Pride Flag

A flag consisting of 3 stripes. From top to bottom it possesses 1 wide magenta or pink stripe, 1 narrow lavender or purple stripe, and 1 wide blue stripe. This represents masculine, feminine, and a mix of the two. This symbolizes people who are attracted to more than one gender.

The Color Meanings

• Magenta/Pink

This stripe is used to represent attractions to those of the same gender.

• Blue

This stripe is used to represent attractions to those of the opposite gender.

• Purple/Lavender

This stripe is a combination of both the pink and blue stripes and used to represent all other varieties of attraction that bisexual people can have.

The Bi-Angles Symbol

A symbol that consists of 2 upside down triangles, one colored pink and the other colored blue. These triangles intersect and create a smaller purple or lavender triangle where they overlap. The colors and symbols here represent bisexuality in the same way the flag goes.

The Double Moon

A symbol that consists of two moons facing in opposite directions consisting of a gradient that goes from Blue to purple to pink to purple, and back to blue. This symbol was created in 1998 by Vivian Wagner, due to the controversy of the bi-angles symbol utilizing the pink triangle which was used to persecute those with a different gender or sexual orientation other than cishetero during WW2.

There are differing opinions on this. Some see the triangle symbol as offensive. Others choose to identify with these as a way to reclaim this symbol for people who love multiple genders.

The Male/Female Symbols

The symbols used to identify gender identities are also commonly used by people who identify as bisexual when wanting to be open about their sexual orientation. Sometimes these same gender symbols are displayed next to each other, or they are combined to identify bisexuality.

Pansexual Pride Flag

Pansexual means that someone is attracted to people regardless of their gender identity. Rather than having sexual feelings for just one gender, they may be attracted to cis women and men, nonbinary people, or trans people. A flag containing 3 horizontal stripes in the following order. Pink at the top, yellow in the middle, and blue on the bottom. The pink and blue are supposed to represent attraction to men and women, and the yellow is supposed to represent attraction to nonbinary people.

This flag is an important representative of bisexuality as many people view bisexual and pansexual people all falling under a broad umbrella. Each of these sexualities describes a person who is not only sexually attracted to a single gender.

Am I a Bisexual Person?

It ultimately comes down to an individual. If you feel the word bisexual best describes your sexual orientation and sexual activity then go ahead and use it.  There are truly no strict sourcing guidelines when it comes to using the label. If the word gives you a sense of comfort and makes you happy - then that is the terminology that works best for you at the current point in your lifetime.

If you feel the need to do a tad bit more research on sexuality to find out more about yourself, then by all means google “what does it mean to be bi”. Trust us, there is no rush to slap a label on your identity. That said, if you feel like bisexuality is truly the best term for you then it’s absolutely great. 

Some of the questions you may ask yourself to find out if you are bisexual are: 

• Am I attracted to more than one gender? 
• Do I have a gender preference when it comes to my sexual behavior? 
• Does a person’s sex play a role in my attraction to them? 
• Do I feel comfortable using the term bisexual to describe myself? 

What about your romantic orientations? Bisexuality is about sexual orientation. Some women and men crave romantic relationships with different genders. Their romantic orientation is bi-romantic. But, they may or may not want to engage in sexual activities with people of multiple genders.

Also, consider how you feel at your core. This is the best way to determine true identity definitions. For example, you may have had a same sex crush at one point. That doesn't mean you need to identify as bisexual. Likewise, you may have only had sex with the opposite gender. That doesn't mean you are straight. Bisexuality also does not require that you are equally attracted to different genders. Many people who identify as bi prefer one gender over another.

You don't have to feel the same way about men or women all of the time. It is okay if you don't feel equally attracted at any point in time. You may even go through phases where you are attracted to a different gender.

Only you get to decide if you are bisexual. It's okay if you aren't sure how you identify now. You may even change how you identify as you gain life experience and explore your feelings. Human sexuality is complex.

How to Come Out as Bisexual

Now, if you’re just coming to terms with your identity and learning more about the LGBTQ+ community, a great way to start is to join organizations that work with bisexual and LGBTQ youth. Remember, young people who come out as bisexual may face misconceptions and myths along the way. There may be some who have their own definition of bisexuality.

It can be extremely difficult for LGBTQ youth to come out to family and friends, so do it on your own terms and at your own pace. Coming out may put added pressure on you.  It can also be detrimental to your mental health. So, try to seek professionals who can provide medical advice to you. That said, to some, it is a very freeing experience. Always consider your safety a top priority when contemplating coming out to friends and/or family. 

It's also okay to delay coming out. Only you know if it is the right time, or if you are safe in pronouncing your bisexuality. Some people choose to compartmentalize their lives by being open with some people, but not others. You don't owe anybody information about how you identify or who you are attracted to.

A great lifeline can be a local LGBTQ+ organization that provides services to people in the closet. There are also several helplines and online platforms available for bisexual people. 

What If I No Longer Like The Term?

That is absolutely okay! Remember that understanding of your sexuality development does not happen overnight. Gender and sexuality are a spectrum. Identity and sexuality may and often do change over time. If you no longer feel like the word bisexual fits you then stop using it to describe your sexuality. 

You are the only person that can tell the world what label to use to describe you. Some people identify as bisexual then identify as gay then pansexual and so on. It doesn’t mean their identity as a bisexual person was not valid. In fact, your sexual orientation today may not be the same ten years from now, and that is absolutely fine! Do not let anyone tell you that your experience does not matter. 

You are not flaky if you change how you identify. Some people are certain at an early age, others evolve into their sexual selves. It's okay if bisexuality doesn't fit and you embrace some other sexual orientation. In fact, as we learn more about attraction, and even what bisexuality means, we embrace new terms! You may realize that you are pansexual or demisexual. You may resonate with a bi-romantic identity while also realizing that you are ultimately heterosexual.

Mental Health

Bisexual people make up half of the LGBTQ+ community, but they are much more likely to suffer from mental health issues. According to a recent study published in the Journal of Bisexuality, bisexual and bi-curious women in relationships with heterosexual men are much less likely to come out.

This means that a woman is much less likely to talk to her cisgender heterosexual male partner about her identity. Researchers found that bisexual women may experience issues with physical and mental health due to the fact that their sexuality is under wraps. So, many bisexual women are perceived by society as straight or just going through a phase, while many bisexual men are perceived to be gay. This can take a huge toll on the mental state of a bisexual man or woman. The best option is to find someone who can provide medical advice to bi people. These perceptions and social pressures may also be why significantly fewer bisexual men are open about their identities.

For example, a woman who is in a relationship with another woman may be less affected by her partner's sexual orientation and gender. Peer-reviewed studies found that partners that both identified as bisexual had the least anxiety when it came to experiencing issues based on their sexual identity. However, this doesn't mean that a bisexual person can't have a healthy relationship with someone who identifies as lesbian or gay.

Bisexual Health

Oftentimes bisexuals face problems when it comes to social services, especially when dealing with medical care. This is more prevalent in cases of men having sex with men, but can also be seen when it comes to women’s health. Bisexual people sometimes fail to tell health professionals about their sexual identity and sexual orientation. This can lead to failure to provide medical advice. 

Patients shy away from asking questions, and health professionals tend to assume that those in opposite-sex relationships are cisgender heterosexual. Proving education to doctors and nurses on how to address bisexual health problems can go a long way in terms of treatment and prevention of sexually transmitted diseases.

There is also a matter of access. According to the Centers For Disease Control lesbians and people who are bisexual often report a lack of access to consistent healthcare. This may be due to affordability or fear that healthcare providers may not provide adequate care if a patient's bisexuality is revealed.

Relationships

A bisexual person may be in a long-term same-sex or heterosexual relationship, or they may alternate between the two. This does not mean their bisexuality is no longer valid. Bisexual people can be in hetero-passing relationships for their whole life yet continue to be bisexual regardless of their partner’s gender. 

A person may realize they are attracted to other or same genders at any moment during their lifetime. There are people who go through their whole lives thinking they need to only identify as gay or straight. So, they avoid coming out as bisexual to their partners. 

Bisexuals often end up in straight couples. That means a bisexual woman can get married to a heterosexual cisgender man, have children with him, but she will not magically turn heterosexual, the same degree a woman will remain bisexual regardless of her partner. Likewise, a bisexual man who ends up marrying a gay man is not gay because he is in a same-sex partnership.

Bisexuals do not evolve to be gay or straight. It is time to accept the fact that bisexuality is its own identity with many nuances. People are bisexual regardless of what kind of relationship they are in. 

Hiding the truth can make a huge impact on a relationship. Talking to your partner, if you feel safe to share your true sexuality with them is the best way to confront the feelings of anxiety associated with staying in the closet as a bisexual. It is always best to find resources and support groups that work with bisexual people prior to addressing the sexual orientation question head-on. 

It is important to note that it is absolutely fine to be attracted or think about attraction without ever acting on it. If a person is in love and attracted to their partner there is no need to break up with them. Bisexual people are attracted to two or more genders, remember? So, they can be in long-term, loving queer relationships as well as in long-term loving hetero-passing relationships. It is important to keep the communication lines open so the relationship is satisfying on emotional and physical levels. 

How to Support Bisexual People

Being bisexual means facing bigotry and erasure. This is still an invisible identity in many ways. Bisexuals tend to be treated as second class citizens even in queer circles. They are more likely to be the victim of sexual assault. Young people who are bisexual often struggle to find meaningful representation in media or history books where the contributions of bi folks are often minimized or mentions of their sexual orientations are sanitized in text books.

• Prevent Bi Erasure

Bi-Erasure is a phenomenon is media in which a person's sexual preference is changed for the sake of maintaining interest across the audience. An example of bi-erasure would be to have a character in a book who is openly bisexual, and have partners who are both the opposite and the same gender, suddenly only have partners of one gender in the theatrical or film release of the movie. This phenomena also happens in real life where people may be told that being bisexual means they are dramatic or attention-seeking.

You can prevent bi erasure by learning about bisexual historical figures, book characters, and more. When you can, acknowledge these truths. Educate others.

• Call out Biphobic Behaviors

Bisexual people are often subjected to a range of biphobic behaviors from both within the gay community and outside of it. Sometimes, that comes in the form of jokes or folks just sharing their opinions. Other times, the rhetoric is ugly and threatening. Don't let this behavior slide. Call it out. Make it known that you are not a person who will accept this behavior. You will make hateful people feel unsafe around you. More importantly, you will make bisexual individuals know they can trust you.

• Make a Conscious Effort to Call Out Your Own Biphobic Behaviors.
  

Biphobia or the hatred of bisexual people has been deeply ingrained in our society much like racism and misogyny. Because of this, many people, including bisexual people can and will often make derogatory and hateful comments about those who identify as bisexual. Take the time to learn what these behaviors might look like coming from you and learn to call yourself out as you unlearn those negative ideas.

• Challenge Your Own Assumptions
  

Despite bisexuality being a recognized expression for sexual attraction, many bisexual people feel as if they don't truly belong in the LGBTQ community due to the assumptions that people make based on who they date. A bisexual man who has dated only women is still as bisexual as the bisexual people who have dated and held both sexual and romantic attraction with both men and women. Or how a bisexual woman who has dated only women would also be assumed to be a lesbian, despite feeling sexual and romantic attraction to both men and women as well.

Make the effort to not assume the sexual feelings of others, and understand that these assumptions make many members of the bisexual community feel like the are invisible or unimportant.