Aegosexual - What is it? What does it mean?

Terminology

The word aegosexuality can be broken into Latin words a meaning without and ego meaning self. Hence aegosexual word translates to sexuality without self. 

The original term autochorissexuality was coined by Dr. Anthony Bogaert, a psychologist who designated it a form of paraphilia. The autochorissexual arousal may involve sexual activities. They may envision people who are sexually attractive yet an autochorissexual person is not going to be interested in a sexual relationship with the sexual target object.

The term was initially perceived to have a negative association with the asexual community. This is why most people who identified as autochorissexual chose to use the term aegosexual instead.

Aegosexuality is defined as a disconnect between oneself and a sexual target object of arousal. This sexuality that is on the asexuality spectrum may involve sexual fantasies or arousal, aegosexuals may perform sexual activities, masturbate in response to porn but they are only a disembodied observer not an active participant in real life.

An aegosexual person seldom feels sexual attraction to other people. They are aroused by sexual content but do not want to have sex with another person.

Just like other asexual people, aegosexuals lack the desire to participate in sexual activities. Some aegosexuals tend to have sexual fantasies but do not want to have sex in real life. Others enjoy viewing erotica and pornography but never fantasize about sex in the first person. There are many aegosexual people that experience arousal but do not want to experience relationship dynamics with the target object of arousal.

History

Dr. Anthony F. Bogaert, a Canadian psychologist who is known for studying multiple aspects of human sexuality, classified autochrorissexuality as a paraphilia in 2012. Bogaert deemed autochorissexuality a psychological disorder. This classification was quite controversial for the asexual community. 

Dr. Bogaert’s definition of autochorissexual with the same meaning remained the widely used definition for aegosexual for quite some time. But many people who identified as autochorissexual refused to accept it. Another issue was the fact that Bogaert did not identify as asexual. That is why many ace people found his definition belittling and incorrect. So, new definitions sprouted up on many online forums. An autochorissexual person typically:

• likes the idea of sex and sexual content but does not experience attraction or wants to have sex with other people
• enjoys the idea of sexual relationships but does not want to be active in one 
• experiences attraction and desire but does not involve themselves
• simply does not want to participate in sex

A Tumblr user Sugar-And-Spite suggested the term aegosexual to replace autochorisexual. 

The word aegosexual has Latin roots and is much easier to pronounce. It also discards the original perception of aegosexuality as a paraphilia. Aegosexual replaced autochorissexual and was welcomed in the asexual community.

Pronouns

Aegosexuals can be cisgender, transgender, or nonbinary. This means that aegosexual people may use a variety of gendered, gender-neutral as well as pronouns of their own choice. 

Examples of gendered pronouns are he/him and she/her. Gender-neutral pronouns may be they/them as well as pronouns like xe/xem, ee/eem, ze/zir. It is important to never assume someone’s gender based on their sexuality or gender expression. Always ask a person about their preferred pronouns and share yours in conversation. 

Flag and Symbols

The most commonly used aegosexual pride flag features the same colors as the asexual flag. In fact, it is extremely similar to the asexual flag. The flag features a triangle with inverted order of colors. The inverted triangle represents an aspect of aegosexuality since many aegosexuals are perceived to be sexual individuals. The colors stand for the following:

• Black represents asexuality
• Grey represents grey asexuality and demisexuality, in represents the in-between arousal
• White is for sexuality
• Purple represents community

Aegosexual flag

There is also an alternate aegosexual flag designed by a member of the aegosexual community. The meaning of the colors can be interpreted as: 

• Purple for community stemming from the asexual flag
• Grey for the entire spectrum of asexuality
• Teal for the disconnection between self and attraction
• Black for asexuality

Alternate aegosexual flag

There is also another version which features the inverted triangle but uses the colors of the alternate flag. 

Alternate aegosexual flag

A fourth version of the flag was created online in February 2021. The shades of purple represent sexuality whereas the black triangles represent a disconnect between sexuality and oneself. The grey X stands for the grey asexual spectrum. 

Alternate aegosexual flag by Cryptocrew

How to Know if You are Aegosexual?

If you feel the term best describes your sexuality then it is valid. Aegosexuals experience arousal from a third person perspective. They enjoy the concept of intercourse but do not have the same enthusiasm when it comes to partaking in sexual activities themselves. Think whether your arousal involves generic notion of sex acts involving you or simply being an observer.

• If you feel that taking part in sex yourself is a turn-off rather than a turn on then you may be aegosexual.
• If you tend to have fantasies adding realistic elements while object of arousal may perform sex acts with someone else then you may be aegosexual.
• If you identify as asexual but enjoy masturbating and watching sexually explicit content
• If you enjoy sexual content but do not want to engage in sex acts
• If you like masturbating but feel turned off by the idea of having sex with someone
• If you envision others having sex or view it in the third person rather than through your own eyes
• If you fantasize about fictional characters and story lines with fictional characters having sex not involving yourself 

Remember that your experience and orientation are valid no matter what. If you enjoy erotic content but believe that you are an asexual aegosexual person then it is your journey to be on. 

Gallery

Another version of the aegosexual flag available online

Alternative Aegosexual flag by Pringles ketchup the second

Possible alternate aegosexual flag: 

Possible alternate aegosexual flag

Another alternate version of the aegosexual flag: 

Alternate version of the aegosexual flag