Aboy – What is it? What does it mean?

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Edward Reese
Updated on December 14, 2021 | 4 min read

What is it?

The term aboy is used by agender people to indicate that they are comfortable with having a masculine presence. It is a gender identity that combines agenderism and masculine expression in the same word.

An aboy person does not mind or would rather that others perceive them as male, although they technically don’t have a gender.

What does it mean?

Being agender means having no gender, which makes an aboy person someone who is genderless but conveys a boyish image.

Agenderism can be considered their gender label or their inner vision of themselves, and masculinity can describe their gender expression or their outer vision of themselves.

Table of Content

    Aboy History

    The history of the aboy term is extremely recent, having been created in June of 2021.

    The wording and concept are attributed to a user named Monarch on Discord, but nothing else has been recorded concerning the history or the formulation of the term.

    Aboy Flags

    Currently, there are five known versions of the Aboy Flag.

    The first two have been credited to the very same Discord user who came up with the meaning and designation of the label Monarch.

    Lighter variant of the Aboy flagLighter variant of the Aboy flag

    Darker variant of the Aboy flagDarker variant of the Aboy flag

    The two upper and lower stripes of dark tones represent being genderless, and the middle blue stripe stands for masculinity. Together, they embody masculine expression within the lack of gender.

    Alternate Aboy FlagAlternate Aboy Flag

    Alternative Aboy flagAlternative Aboy flag

    The third and alternative flag was designed by Tumblr user themogaidragon only a few months after the original one. It is a more complex approach and includes more colors and symbolism than the first flags.

    Dark tones still represent the lack of gender, and blue stands for a boyish appearance as well, but green is also present, representing the agender label. One of their flag versions also includes the aboy symbol.

    Alternative aboy flagAlternative aboy flag

    Aboy Symbol

    Aboy symbolAboy symbol

    The only known aboy symbol was created by themogaidragon on Tumblr, the same creator of the third and alternate aboy flag.

    It uses the traditional Mars symbol, depicting masculinity, and adds a line in the middle, representing agenderism.

    Pronouns

    The pronoun preferences for aboy people are usually the same as for agender people, who generally prefer to avoid gendered language when referring to themselves as much as possible. Ultimately, their pronoun preference is very variable and depends entirely on each person.

    The only difference between all agender people and aboy individuals is that aboys may feel comfortable using the pronouns “he/him” due to their masculine appearance. But, once again, this depends entirely on each person and their preferences.

    Similar Terms

    Agender – A non-binary gender identity that describes people who do not identify with any gender or see themselves as having absolutely no gender. Aboy is a subcategory of agenderism, and therefore a non-binary entity.

    Agirl – The feminine equivalent of aboy. An agender person who feels comfortable being perceived as female.

    Demiboy -Someone who identifies partially with the male gender, but not completely. Different from aboy in the sense that aboys don’t identify with any gender.

    Libramasculine or Libraboy -Someone who nearly considers themselves agender but feels some sort of minor identification with the male gender. The aboy does not identify with the male gender; it is strictly part of their gender expression.

    How do I know if I’m Aboy?

    Defining our identity can be a confusing and challenging process. One day we may feel a certain way and at other times feel differently, which is perfectly normal. Fluctuations in character are natural.

    It’s all about being patient and open-minded, though. Not expecting simple and straight answers is a good thing, too. It’s a healthy habit to question ourselves actively, but only if we are kind to the conclusions we take from that introspection.

    If you feel like you don’t have a gender, but you’re okay with being perceived as male, aboy might be just the label for you. If you identify with the male gender, even if just slightly, or if you think there’s a manhood essence in your personality, there might be other, better-describing words for you.

    Either way, we don’t have to stick to one label forever. Our minds and personalities are eternally changing, and so may our gender identities. You can just pick the wording that better suits you at this time of your life.

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    Author
    Edward Reese

    Edward has worked in LGBTIQ+ NGOs since 2019, took part in various international trans* conferences and created a series of lectures about queer theory and nonbinary identities for beginners. He’s a prominent LGBTIQ Tiktok educational blogger, awarded as a Best Queer Blogger in 2021. In 2023 he took part in the UN Trans Advocacy Week as part of TGEU delegation, and was one of the authors of the speech in the interactive dialog with Independent Expert on SOGI Victor Madrigal Borlos. Later that year he was one of the World Innovators in Human Rights Campaign Summit.

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