So, you have a crush on someone. You have spent quality time with them, had some great conversation, and practiced all that active listening that you’ve been told sends signals that you are interested. You have an idea that they might be interested too.
Your crush may be someone you have mutual friends with and socialize together; the guy or gal may be in a class you are taking, and you are in the same study group; or it could be someone at work you’ve worked with on projects. You’ve made eye contact in a good way while talking, but maybe they’re sending mixed signals by paying attention to others in the same way.
But you want to play it cool right now and figure out their true feelings without “shouting out” yours – that might put pressure on them, or you might get hurt as they run away.
How do you tell someone you like them and be subtle about it? Well, we’ve got you covered! This article is going to give you a bunch of techniques to use to get your point across indirectly. You may want to take notes.
Tips to Tell Someone Your Like Them
You want to make the first move, but you want to stay cool about it. Take a deep breath, have a look at these tips, and see which ones may work for you to tell your crush how you feel. Here’s how to make that happen.
Dump the Drama
You can run all sorts of negative scenarios through your own head. But as Mark Twain once said, “most of what we worry about never comes to pass.” Making a big deal about how to tell your crush and about what words to use and thinking about all the ways they may respond is just a waste of time and mental energy.
Instead, ask yourself this question. What is the worst that could happen? You might give clear hints that you are interested, and they will blow you off and show by their verbal or nonverbal behaviors that they are not interested.
At least you know they aren’t interested and can move on. The Earth will still rotate on its axis and revolve around the sun.
Text or In-Person – Pick Your Poison
This is a decision only you can make. Outgoing, extroverted people tend to have plenty of confidence and their world is pretty much person-to-person. Shy, introverted people, not so much. They may feel confident with email or text.
So, which are you? Now, both may be saying the same thing to a crush, but the choice in the way they do it is a matter of their convert level.
Suppose you have decided to ask your crush for a casual meetup. You don’t have to call it a date – maybe just meet for a drink after work. If you do it in person, they have to respond right then and there. And you will have a chance to gauge their reaction – their body language, for example.
If you shoot them an email or a text, they have some time to think about it before giving an answer. This takes the pressure off of them, which can be a good thing too.
And the words you use when you ask them are important too, because you can be pretty clear about your intention. Something like, “You’re really fun to be around. Would you like to meet for a drink after work tomorrow?”
Be Careful Who You Tell
When we were in high school, we behaved like adolescents. If we had a crush, we would tell our friends who were also friends with that crush, hoping, or maybe even asking them to tell that crush and find out if they felt the same.
Don’t be an adolescent. Of course, you can tell a close friend or two, but absolutely never a mutual friend, hoping they might pass the word on. If that friend tells your crush, they’re probably going to wonder why the hell you didn’t say something yourself. Moral here? Do your own bidding.
Pick a Good Time to Express Your Feelings
Send a quick text, maybe even a funny meme, and ask how they are. If they respond in the positive, then it’s probably a good time to send a huge flirt to your crush, or to ask for a date. If the response is negative – they are stressed or not feeling well.
Positive response? “Great. I have been wanting to ask you out for dinner. What’s your schedule like this week?”
Negative response? Express your sympathy. Tell them you’ll check back soon.
Don’t Procrastinate
What are you waiting for? If it’s fear of rejection, that rejection is going to come anyway, no matter when you make your move. Better to find out sooner than later.
So, what’s the move? Are you going to stick with casual conversation, talking about insignificant things, or are you going to let your feelings be known? If not now, when? The crush you like could easily become someone else’s crush.
Sometimes, direct honesty is in order. Tell your crush, “You know what? I’m interested in you as more than a friend. How do you feel about that?” Again, if you are not confident doing this in-person, you can certainly send a text, but you won’t be able to gauge their nonverbal responses.
Set a deadline for yourself to do this.
Don’t Be Consumed About the Words of the Message
The worst thing you can do is agonize about how you will give the message that you are interested in your crush. The point is to make it clear that you are not just interested in a friendship. Asking your crush to have coffee smacks of friendship, not a potential romantic connection.
Spend some time thinking through what you are going to say to tell someone you like them beyond friendship. You may even write out a script and practice what you will say. And that’s fine, but at some point, you will need to throw away that script and put the words into your natural, honest style – one that will give you confidence and keep you comfortable.
“I had a great time working with you on that project. But I have to confess, I am interested in a connection that goes beyond that. Can we have dinner and talk about that this weekend?” Honest and clear, right? That’s what you want. And you’re likely get a clear answer – just what you want – whether in person, by phone, or text.
Once you decide on a date for that dinner, or whatever, leave them be. Give them a little time to digest what has happened and figure out their own feelings. Simply check in the day of the date and confirm details.
When Your Crush is Already “Taken”
What would you do if you made you move, and your crush told you they were in a relationship, or even worse for you, married. You might feel a little embarrassed, but don’t be. Respect that relationship and come up with a witty answer that shows you’ll move on. But be certain not to kill your friendship over it. Example: “Well, (she or he) is lucky, cuz I don’t do relationship-busting. Not my style. Just friends is great for me. How about you?”
Be Prepared for Rejection
No one likes rejection – it certainly doesn’t boost someone’s self-esteem. But it’s a fact of life. People get rejected all the time. They apply for a job and don’t get the offer, for example. Have a conversation with a friend or two, and they’ll all give you examples of when they got rejected.
So, how do you deal with rejection when you ask for a date with your crush, you wait, and the answer is no.
This rejection will probably not boost your ego and may well put a strain on your original relationship with them. But here’s the best idea: treat them no differently than you did before the rejection. Gradually, things should return to normal, if you let them. If things continue to be awkward, it’s time for a conversation to clear the air.
Rejection is not the end or your world. If you get on with your “other life,” you’ll meet many others – as the saying goes, “Plenty of fish in the sea.”
Tips on How to Tell Your Crush You Like Them
Below, you’ll find a bunch of short, catchy, and honest openings that should help with how to tell someone you like them. Some will not feel comfortable, but you’re sure to find a message or two that you can walk away with.
- “I really enjoy the time I spend with you.” Honest and forthright without the drama you might see on romcoms.
- “It’s really fun to be with you.” A bit indirect, but what you’re looking for here is the response. Listen to what they say and the way they say it. It will tell you how to move forward with the girl or guy. Plus, it’s a compliment, and who doesn’t like those?
- “You’re a really positive part of my life.” This is more direct, is also a compliment, and speaks to how that crush impacts you. Again, listen to the response and try to gauge the meaning. If they say the same about you, it’s time to move forward with a date request.
- “You make me smile whenever we’re together.” This one isn’t so indirect – it’s how to tell someone you like them for sure, whether in-person, by phone, or text. If they reply with the same, you’re ready to move forward.
- “I always feel happy with I’m with you.” Again, pretty direct. You’re talking more than just friendship here. If the reply is positive, time for some deeper conversation, probably over dinner.
- “You make me want to be a better person.” This is actually a line from the movie As Good as It Gets.” But it that’s how you honestly feel, then say it. It’s probably the biggest compliment they could get from someone. Does it mean that you will enter into a romantic connection? No, but it could begin a conversation that would lead to that. Be patient.
- “I am so comfortable around you that I can really be myself.” This is indirect, but how will they reply to the statement. Do they feel the same way, and do they say so? If the reply is positive, you’re ready to move forward.
- “Lately, I’ve been thinking about you a lot.” This is far more direct. No one thinks about people they are not really wanting a deeper connection with. If they say the same, you’re in. If they simply say something like, “That’s nice,” take it as a rejection.
- “You’re so special to me.” This is something that a best friend or relative say to each other all the time. But when you say it to someone you want a romantic connection with, someone who has only been a casual friend, it has much more meaning. It takes courage to say this, but it could be the start of something more.
- “I want to get to know you much better.” This is a typical “come on,” and there will be no doubt what you really mean. A positive response like “me too” is all you need.
- “When I hang out with you, it is the highlight of my week.” Your feelings are on display. You’ve told them that they are more important in your life than their other connections or activities. It’s a bold statement, and they’ll either “sh**t or get off the pot.”
A Few Final Words
Expressing your feelings about someone who has only been a friend and who you want to date and have more with can be scary and take courage, maybe some diplomacy, and putting yourself out there into unchartered territory. Feelings are all tied up with emotions, and rationality can go out the window. Don’t let that happen to you. Here are a few more words of wisdom as you try to move a friendship into something more.
Visualize
This seems kinda out there in the spiritual field, but it is important. It’s not about imagining yourself together with your crush. It’s about having the courage to express your feelings. See yourself doing this. The more you do, the more confident you will become when you are in the moment.
Write it Out
Make notes to sort out your feelings and thoughts about how you want to approach your crush and write them down. Plan what you want to say, even write a script, but NEVER plan to use that script. It is meant as an outline to get your feelings onto paper.
Do Some Practice
Practice what you want to say to a trusted friend. Get their feedback. You want to sound genuine and sincere with your feelings, but they need to come from the real you, not from anything you’ve seen or heard. When you are in the moment, you want to be authentic.
This article should have given you some insights and some practical tips on how to tell a crush you like them. But an article can only do so much. It’s up to you now. Muster up the courage and go for it. If you think about it, you really have nothing to lose – nothing ventured, nothing gained!
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