Finding ways to meet folks can be hard in general, but that difficulty seems to increase at least ten times when you are part of the LGBTQ community and wanting to meet with others who are in the community. Lesbians in particular can have a difficult time meeting other lesbians or queer women in the real world. Of course there is always the option of meeting women online, and utilizing one of the many lesbian dating sites or apps that are available.
Of course not everyone is comfortable with the option of online dating sites or online friendship. While the internet is an amazing tool that has brought many lesbians together it is not a replacement for real human interaction and connection. Of course, not everyone has access to local LGBTQ hangout spots, and of course not everyone feels comfortable in those places. Even if online dating is your thing, you’ll have to step out from behind the screen eventually. This advice will help you make that happen.
What Can You do to Meet Other Lesbians?
What can you do to meet other lesbians? The answer is the same way you can meet other types of people in this world. Go out into the world and go to where you can find them. Meeting women whether they are queer or not is not some kind of puzzle that needs to be solved. Just go out to places, join recreational groups, and just talk to people.
Places You Can go to Find Lesbian Women
Queer women are everywhere! But there are definitely places that you are more likely to find them than you are in others. Whether you’re looking for single lesbian women to go on a nice date with, or you’re trying to find gay women in general to make friends with here are a few places you should check out when going on your next search.
Concerts that Feature Female Performers
If you want to have a chance to meet lesbian women, or other like minded women, then your first stop to look should be at a concert with a female person as the headliner. If they’re queer themselves then you’ll find that quite a few of the women in attendance are also going to be queer.
This is because queer performers tend to attract other queer and like minded people to their shows, even if they themselves aren’t particularly famous. This is because the members of the LGBTQ community are going to do what they can to support their friends. Of course if she’s not gay that doesn’t mean that there won’t be any lesbians in the audience. She might still have a few gay girlfriends, or fans who are wanting to see her perform.
Libraries and Independently Owned Bookstores
These places are always open to the public and are welcoming to anyone who wishes to come in and hang out. Of course, with the multitude of special events that happen in both of these spots, such as book signings, poetry clubs, movie nights, chances to speak with authors and more there is sure to be an opportunity to meet people of every kind of sexual orientation.
Art Galleries
Art galleries are a great place to meet people because they are open to the public, and can help broaden the horizons of many through cultural exposure. There are many queer female artists, so if you go to one of their opening events where they bring in an artist to feature at your local gallery you may get a good chance to meet them as well as some other women at the next event at your local art gallery.
LGBTQ+ Centers
If you happen to live somewhere like Canada, or the United states most of the college campuses have spaces that are set aside for members of the LGBTQ community and are always happy to receive volunteers.
If there is not a college campus close to where you live you can also try to search online for LGBT centers in the community as these groups can be found in places such as libraries, community centers, and more. All you have to do is stop by, introduce yourself, and see what kind of resources they offer, as well as how you can get involved.
LGBT Events
If you don’t think there are LGBT events near you then you need to look a little harder. There are charities and organizations that are focused on helping lesbian, queer, and trans women, as well as all the other members of the LGBTQ all over the world. These organizations use events and fairs in order to help raise the funds that are needed for their programs as well as awareness for their cause.
Simply google what organizations are near you, see if you can subscribe to their mailing list, and of course get involved in their cause. Volunteering is also a great way to score free tickets for events as they may need people to help run the events.
Things You Can do to Help You Meet Other Queer Women
Whether you are wanting to meet other lesbians in order to form romantic relationships with them, or you are simply interested in making friends with lesbians and women in general there are a few things you can do aside from going to some specific places where you might find them.
Log onto an LGBTQ Focused Dating Site
No matter what kind of queer women you are wanting to meet. Whether or not they are trans women, lesbian women, bisexual women or any other queer women. You’ll be able to find them easily through the use of dating websites. Dating sites and apps, especially those that are made with members of the LGBTQ in mind are perfect for people who may not have the resources to meet others in their area.
Online dating also helps to create online safe spaces for those who may want to have a dating life that they feel comfortable with, but aren’t necessarily ready to come out of the close to those that they live with. On dating apps such as Taimi, gay people can make new friends, find compatible partners, and learn about local pride events that are happening in their area, or events in their area that are sponsored by the app or site itself.
Whether you prefer to use dating apps, or sites, even if you are not entirely comfortable with the premise of online dating. Dating apps make it much easier to find women and other people who are part of the LGBTQ.
Attend Local Political Events
Political public events are a great place to meet other lesbians because they’re all about people coming together with members of their community for what they believe in. Even if you’re not one who is very interested in politically aligned discussions on a daily basis, these events still are a great opportunity to get together with those who share your beliefs right in your own community. Which is a great way for you to make friends with other people, even if those people aren’t lesbians themselves.
If you aren’t sure of events that are being held, or how the local branches of the political parties you associate most with operate you can take some time to search up these things online and maybe even join in their upcoming meetings.
Join a Recreational Sports Team
If you’re one who enjoys playing any kind of sport at all, whether it be hockey, soccer, baseball, basketball, or even bowling there is likely some kind of team or league available for you to join. However if you’re not athletically inclined but want to help more in the sidelines most recreational sports teams will be happy to take you on board.
By joining a team in your area you can be put into the company of a lot of different kinds of people including other lesbians, gay men, bisexual people, and more. All of who can be potential new friends, as well as a potentially good match for future relationships.
Attend a Book Club
Whether you are wanting to meet up in book clubs that are exclusive to lesbians and the members of the LGBTQ or you are wanting to meet with one that’s a little more wide ranged that includes every other group in their meetings. Book clubs are a great way for you to meet with lesbians and many different kinds of women.
Book clubs are often held in spaces that are made to be welcoming to those who wish to hang out and chat for long periods of time. Such as libraries and bookstores. The best thing about these clubs is the fact that anyone can start one. So if you don’t have one in your area all you have to do is contact your local library, and make your intentions clear by telling them that you would like to start one.
Although there is the rare chance that they will tell you no, most of the time they will be happy to add your club to their monthly listing of clubs and events and will be more than happy to add your club to their list of events.
Find Time to Attend Museum Events
In person museum events are also a great way for you to meet up with lesbians and other kinds of people. These events are also a great way for you to get family members out to do things and even get them to meet different kids of people as well. Even if you live in a fairly rural area there is likely at least a couple of different museums in your area that you can check out.
All you have to do is check out their websites, and take a look at their calendar where they are likely to list all of their upcoming virtual and in person events that they have coming up for the year. Even if you aren’t particularly interested in the types of things that the museum has on display, or if none of the events listed keep you particularly interested museums are still an excellent way for people to expose themselves to new ideas as well as connect with others in their community.
Join a Gym or Sign Up For a Fitness Class
Whether you are wanting to meet up with other lesbians to find those who are interested in going out on a date, or you are genuinely interested in working out and finding ways to be healthier with groups of people who have the same goal. Gyms, and fitness classes have been a popular hobby for single women for years. A hobby that helps many people develop friendships as well as one that becomes a daily part of their life. If you’re interested in joining a class look online and on social media to see what kinds of fitness classes and gyms are available in your area.
Join a Recreational Club or Organization
What do you like to do for fun? Your interests can lead to an encounter with other lesbians. That might turn into dating or just positive relationships. If you have a hobby, there’s a good chance there’s a recreation club or organization for that somewhere in your area. There might even be one for lesbians.
If there isn’t, start one! Whether you are getting together to play a game of ladies only Dungeons and Dragons, having fun crafting, or refinishing furniture – you’ll be spending time with lesbians who share your passions.
How to Improve Your Results And Have Fun Meeting Women
Whether you’re new to lesbian dating, or you’ve been out in the field for awhile, navigating relationships with other women can be exciting and compicated. Where you meet women is important, but the biggest wins often come from how you seize the opportunities you get to connect rather than relying on luck alone. Here’s how to make your wlw social life more successful.
Body Language is Key
Body language is one thing that many lesbians struggle with, especially early on. They often miss or misinterpret attraction signals. That’s understandable! Women tend to be more subtle when flirting. So, it’s easy to miss things if you’re on the receiving end of that kind of attention. Pay close attention to the subtle things. Is that cute girl at the bar leaning in, making eye contact just a bit longer than usual, or mirroring your movements? Those are signs she’s attracted to you.
At the same time, make sure you are also sending the right signals. Crossing your arms may be habitual, but you could be communicated disinterest. Make a conscious effort to show that you are into her.
Lead With Confidence – Stay Authentic
Many ladies feel pressured to either take the lead or play the passive role. In truth, successful lesbian dating isn’t about fitting into one role or another. You can be outgoing and approach other women without being a “hey mamas” stereotype. You can also keep that sweet, demure vibe that’s part of your personality while still taking the initiative to talk up other girls.
Be Open to People And Experiences
Don’t let your pursuit of perfection cause you to miss out on great lesbian dating experiences. No, you don’t have to settle for girls you aren’t attracted to. At the same time, if you’re only going to date women who “check off” every box, you’re going to spend a lot of time at home.
Remember that not every date needs to have the potential for a life-long relationship. It’s okay to date simply for the fun and social aspect of it. You may not have a new partner at the end of the night, but that’s okay! Every date gives you an opportunity to connect and have fun!
Also, don’t turn down non-romantic social invites! Your future partner could be waiting at the party, game night, or farmers market. Point being, your luck won’t change if you aren’t out there seeking ways to meet folks.
Get Out There – Don’t Overthink It!
One of the biggest things that holds WLW back from meeting other lesbians is hesitation. You spot someone at bookstore, community gathering, or concert. You want to approach her, but then you start overthinking how she might respond. What if she isn’t gay? What if I say something weird?
Take a deep breath. Just say hi. Think about it. Do you get angry when someone approaches you in a friendly manner to say hi? Of course not! Worst case scenario she’s busy or just not seeking out social interaction right now. There’s no need to overthink it or have a slick pickup line. No, there’s no guarantee that you’ll make a romantic connection, but you might build up your social network.
Use Your Hobbies to Guide Your Dating Life
If your life is full of the things you enjoy doing, cances are you’ll meet other queer women who are compatible with you. Do you love hiking? Join an outdoor group with other LGBTQ+ folks. If you like painting, take an art class. This way you will connect through shared passions.
Even better you’ll be happy and confident in your element. That’s the kind of thing that seems obvious, but is just the advice many wlw need.
Enlist Your Straight Friends
Yes, we’ve all been cluelessly set up by well-meaning friends and family who think “also gay” is enough of a compatibility factor, but don’t dismiss the idea entirely. Truth is, your straight allies can play a positive role in your dating life. Maybe you have a coworker with a sapphic friend, or that funny guy at the gym has a sister. Let your allies help you expand your circle.
Quality Beats Quantity
It doesn’t have to be a numbers game. Yes, when it comes to online dating you should start by making as many connections as you can and then eliminate from there, but real life dating is all about making the right matches – not the most.
If you attend one event a week or meet just one awesome woman a month, consider it a success. It’s okay to nurture that connection to see where it goes rather than rushing to the next opportunity.
Final Thoughts – It Isn’t Just One Thing It’s Everything
There’s not one right way to meet other wlw. No single piece of advice is going to work for lesbians. You have to find what works for you. The best way forward is to simply get out there and give a few of these tips a try. Attend a local event. Say hi to that cute gal on the bus. Pop into that contemporary art museum you’ve been meaning to check out. Eventually, you’ll connect with more women, and that’s how beautiful partnerships begin.
Share this post:
