Whatever the reason you feel this way, whether it is a song on the radio that reminded you of the person or a memory that crept up in your mind, there are several ways to help you get by when you miss someone.
This article aims to do its best to provide you with the key to moving forward; however, if you feel that longing for someone is detrimental to your quality of life - please seek professional medical help.
Why Do We Miss People?
One thing we need to underline here, people miss each other for many different reasons. Some of them may be a bit obvious, while others maybe not so much. Missing someone is all about the same feelings that are raw and unedited. People long for the same things. Most often, they need communication and connection. Bonds and relationships that develop over time are at the very core of our existence. So, missing someone who is no longer present in your life makes perfect sense.
Psychologist Gregory Kushnick, PsyD, says: "There's no one answer about what to do when you miss someone—it really depends on the situation."
As we've said above, you can miss someone for a multitude of reasons. Some people miss those that were their closest friend at one point, and others cannot forget their ex-partners, some miss a family member that passed away, and so on.
Anything can trigger a memory of a close friend or a former partner. Relationship Expert and Founder of Ask April, April Maccario underlines: "places, food, scents, random things that can make us remember someone. It is all about learning how to cope with the emotions we feel."
Can You Miss Someone Without Realizing It?
The short answer is - yes! The long answer - you may be in denial. The most important thing is to own up to your feelings, among other things. So, if you miss someone - don't avoid that feeling; otherwise, it may make you feel worse. Sometimes missing your ex is not among the most pleasant emotions, but admitting to yourself that you miss them may help you feel moving forward.
Missing someone can make you feel down on yourself, but it can also be an uplifting process. Focusing on the positives, the good memories you made with them, cherishing the moments forever in your memory is a great way to actually realize that you miss someone who is no longer in your life. It may actually make you feel good and regain control over your emotions.
It is absolutely fine to think of the fun moments, laughs, special times you had together. Most importantly, it is all about focusing on the positives of old memories and eventually moving forward.
What If The Person Does or Cannot Miss You Back?
Speaking of negative memories, someone is not obligated to miss you back. If you lose touch with them, if they express no desire in talking to you, you need to focus your attention elsewhere. What if the person is in a new relationship or no longer alive? There are so many different circumstances that may affect it. So, why would you lose sleep and hurt yourself over someone not being able to miss you back?
Relationship expert Sonya Schwartz says: "Obviously, it is a sad feeling, but life must carry on. We can't make things happen on our own. Simply put, trust the process."
So, the message is clear here. If someone does not miss you back - do not dwell on it. Keep moving past it regardless of the pain. Continue reading this article to find some of the best ways to cope with these emotions.
What If The Person You Miss Is Far?
People are not static. In fact, many peer reviewed studies suggest that the majority of us will move at least three times during our lives. So, losing your best friend who moved across the country or your closest colleague because they accepted a job offer in a different part of the world can actually happen. So, what do you do when you miss someone who is far away?
We live in a digital age. Today, people are no longer limited to talking on the landline. We are now able to stay in touch in more ways than one. Dr. Candice Nicole Hargons, Ph.D., counselling psychologist and director at the Center for Healing Racial Trauma says one of the best ways to cope with missing someone who is far away is by: "Reaching out to them by a text message, call, or social media, and letting them know they crossed your mind."
Indeed, being able to remind someone about the fun times you've had together may be a great way to get rid of the nasty longing feeling. You can always write them an old-school letter about your friendship. If you have the budget for it at the moment and Covid-19 pandemic restrictions no longer apply, plan a trip to visit the person you're missing. This can be a great way to reset your friendship.
Keep in mind that when you miss someone may change during the course of your lifetime. Many relationships, including friendships, can and often do change over time. If your long-time friend becomes a parent, they may no longer be able to hang out or party the night away with you anymore. Dr. Kushnick underlines: "You have to realize that the context of your relationship will change. You'll both still care about what's going on in each other's lives—that won't necessarily change—but the ways you spend time together and the things you talk about likely will change."
What If The Person You Miss Is An Ex?
Oh yes, people miss their exes more often than one would think. Even if that person was awful at times, even if that person was a jerk, and totally deserved to be dumped, even if they dumped you. Human beings can get lost in the process and wait for the pain to fade. If you were spending time with someone during a key time, chances are you will miss some of the things you did together.
One contributing factor to missing an ex-partner may be following their social activities on Twitter, Instagram, and Facebook. A word of advice? Stop, unfriend, and unfollow. Don't fixate on the time you've spent with them or their new life without you. Struggling to process the breakup may call for a session with a qualified therapist. It's a great idea to find someone to talk to about your feelings.
If you cannot find a counselor, lean on your support network. Friends, family, even acquaintances can help you get your mind off your former partner. Do not have a strong support network? Well, now is the perfect time to seek new connections.
Join a yoga or pilates class
Volunteer at local organizations
Learn to play a new instrument
Find like-minded people online
Perhaps doing some of the things you did with your ex is not such a great idea, but if you really enjoyed going on a hike with them, why not try it by yourself? It sure is a great way to get out of the house. The best thing is to try a different route not to trigger any unwanted memories.
Remember, relationships do not always work out. It's a part of life, and sometimes the other person may not want to remain friends or even stay cordial. This is completely normal, regardless of how hard it may be to admit.
So, if you miss your ex, don't be too hard on yourself. Don't rush back into a relationship either this may affect your new partner later on. Try to focus on the positives that come along with breaking up. You may feel anger and/or guilt over the breakup, but rest assured, these feelings will pass. Also, try not to deny them. Learn to cope with the pain in order to work through it. Once again, if all of it is too overwhelming or causes you anxiety, it is a sign to seek out professional medical advice in your area.