At first glance, it’s a simple question. What is the difference between the pansexual and bisexual identity? In truth, that’s a complicated topic that is impacted by history, evolving understanding of gender identity, and personal perception. To answer this question adequately, we’ll need to traverse a lot of gray area. That includes leaving a lot of room for individual interpretation. Still, it’s important to explore questions like this to foster better understanding and ensure that everyone is affirmed regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation.
What is Pansexuality?
A pansexual person is someone who experiences sexual or romantic attraction to people regardless of gender. They may be attracted to people who are man, woman, transgender, nonbinary, or genderqueer. However, pansexuality ultimately means that gender just isn’t a factor. It may help to remember than many pansexual people refer to themselves as gender blind. Not in the sense that they don’t recognize or respect gender identity. It’s simply that they don’t feel more or less attracted based on that feature.
Some folks resonate more with this sexual orientation because of the emerging acceptance of the fact that there are multiple genders. While bisexuality has historically been seen as a a sexual or romantic attraction to both men and women – pansexuality allows for attraction to nonbinary, genderqueer, agender, and other identities.
What is Bisexuality?
The origin of bisexuality is that it describes someone who is attracted to men and women. Until fairly recently, that was presumed to be cisgender women and men. Today, many use the term to refer to attraction to people who are both cis and trans-gender. In the case of bisexuality, it’s important to remember that gender is a factor. That means, the traits that a bisexual person associates with gender identity are part of what causes them to be attracted to people or not. Bisexuals may also be attracted to some genders, but not all of them.
Notes on Definitions of Bi And Pan
While pansexual and bisexual are both commonly used to refer to sexual and romantic attraction, it’s important to note that those are both different things. The terms biromantic and panromantic exist to more accurately define people who experience romantic attraction, but not necessarily sexual. It’s a difference that is important to remember as their are guys and girls who may feel romantic connections to several genders, but not sexual.
Key Differences Between Bisexual And Pansexual
Both pansexual and bisexual people date different genders. Here are some of the main differences:
- Bisexual people consider gender while pansexuals do not.
- The origins of bisexuality were based on the assumption of a gender binary while pansexuality was adopted as a sexual identity that acknowledged more than one gender. However, it’s important to recognize that the definition of bisexuality has evolved to encompass trans and non binary people.
Gray Areas – Why Sexual Orientations Aren’t Written in Stone
Before adhering to ridgid definitions of pansexual and bisexual people, keep in mind that sexual orientation and romantic attractions are subjective. Each person chooses their own sexual identity based on their self-perception, views on gender identity, and personal understanding of the meanings of these words and how those apply to them. Each person has their own reasons for choosing to identify the way they do. That means that it is possible for two people to experience very similar sexual and romantic attractions with one preferring to be called bisexual and the other choosing pansexual.
So, while it’s helpful to have a foundational knowledge of bisexuality and pansexuality, it’s more important to know that there is a lot of variance. Each person is more qualified than anybody else to determine their own sexuality – or even ditch those labels entirely.
It is very likely that in the future the concepts of pansexuality and bisexuality will evolve even further. We may even encounter new words and phrases that allow us to describe attraction more accurately and in a way that reflects a better knowledge of both gender and sexuality. However, this means that folks must be willing to let go of preconceived ideas they have about sexuality.
Are you Pansexual or Bisexual?
The process of discovering whether you identify as pansexual vs bisexual is very personal and can be a complicated journey. Many folks find that their sexuality doesn’t fit neatly into a box, and that one word or phrase may not apply. You might experience attraction to multiple genders or find that your attraction is based on personality, physical aesthetics, emotional connection, or shared interests. Sometimes, it isn’t always easy to determine just how much gender impacts your preferences. Fpr example, you may feel deeply attracted to masculinity in both men, women, and nonbinary folks.
There is so much gray area between bisexuality and pansexuality that it’s normal to struggle to find what fits you. Remember that a label is helpful tool for understanding who we are, but they don’t capture everything about us. It may be better to choose the label that is most authentic, rather than searching for perfection. It’s also okay to use no label at all.
If Things Feel Confusing
It’s normal to feel confused when you start to review your attractions. Most people are raised only hearing about two orientations – straight or gay. When you realize you are attracted to more than one gender, you might feel as though you are living with two identities. It can take time to figure out what truly aligns with you.
Perhaps you have developed crushes or even dated male, female, and non binary people. Maybe gender just doesn’t play a role at all. That may ultimately feel like pansexuality for you, or you may decide that bisexuality is a better fit. It’s all about what fits your self-perception and lived experience.
Young people in particular often feel pressured to pick a word that works for them. If that works for you, it’s fine. If it doesn’t, don’t worry. Sexuality is fluid for many people cand may shift over time. That’s okay. If you identify as bisexual now, but later decide that what you feel is pansexuality, it’s okay to change that. Any label you choose simply reflects what feels most authentic now. It doesn’t have to be a permanent choice.
Exploring Your Feelings of Attraction
If you are trying to figure things out, take an honest look at your emotions and experiences.
Think About The People You’ve Been Attracted To
Take a look at your past relationships and crushes you’ve experienced. How did gender influence your preferences. Were you drawn to people of two or more genders with gendered traits or traits you perceive as gendered influencing your choices? Or, have you simply not cared very much about that. You may notice a patern over time, or not.
Consider What Draws You to Someone
List the factors that attract you to people. Do you see those factors as being attracted to certain genders, or more based on persona or vibe. What makes you feel that spark? Is it looks, emotional connection, or a sense of humor?
Experiment And Reflect on Self Description
Simply say different labels out loud. I am bisexual. I am pansexual. I am both. I am something else. Which one feels right for you? Which one aligns more with your journey of discovering your orientation. Your instincts mean a lot in this case.
Talk With The Community
You can gain clarity by speaking with others in your community. Try talking to other pansexual or bisxual people you know, or find online forums. You might encounter people who have had similar experiences, or talk to folks who describe their own attractions in a way that resonates with you. Sometimes, simply chatting and sharing your story can make it easier to define your feelings.
Myths And Misconceptions to Review
The persistent myths and misconceptions that persist about this topic can m ake self-discovery even harder. Unfortunately, these exist as much in queer spaces as they do anywhere else.
You Have to Choose One Label
Not everyone identifies solely as either pansexual or bisexual. Some people go back and forth between labels, because they feel that reflects different parts of their sexuality or relationships with different people.
Your Label Changes Based on Your Current Relationship
A bsiexual man who dates a female is still bisexual. A pansexual person dating a member of the same opposite sex is not suddenly straight. Your orientation is about who you are attracted to, not your current or past relationships. You can be gay, straight, lesbian, pansexual, or bisexual, even if you’ve never dated or been sexually active.
Pansexual People Are Attracted to Everyone
Too many people assume that pansexuals are not discerning. Instead, it just means attaraction regardless of gender, not being attracted to any person without caring about physical appearance, character, chemistry, or shared interests.
Bisexuality Excludes Transgender or Non Binary People
The word bisexual was coined before there was much knowledge about identity. So, many people still go with the incorrect assumption that bisexuals are only attracted to cisgender men and women. Today, may who identify as bi are drawn to nonbinary and trans folks too.
Embracing the Gray Area
As you explore your sexuality, you will come to the freeing realization it’s okay to not have an answer. Maybe you will fall in love with someone of your same gender. Later, you might feel attracted to someone of a different gender. These attractions may change according to where you are in life. It’s even possible that you might connect with someone you never imagined would be your type. That fluidity doesn’t invalidate your identity. It’s part of the human experience.
It’s also okay to change your label as you grow and learn more about yourself. You might find that bisexuality is the best descriptor now, but resonate more with pansexuality later. You might even decide to ditch labels and just focus on people and relationships.
It’s not about getting it right. Instead, it’s all about finding language that feels comfortable and a bit like home. This will help you talk about your orientation in an authentic way.
Finding Your Authentic Label
If you are still thinking about what fits or where you belong, remember that your sexuality is yours to define. It’s okay to identify how you want, not label yourself, or change the way you think about or describe yourself. It’s all just a way to express how you experience attraction to multiple genders, two or more genders, or regardless of gender.
Don’t worry if it takes time to figure this all out. It’s okay to experiment. It’s okay to not care about this at all. What matters is whether the identity you choose feels right for you, not another person’s expectations.
There is no single path to determining your identity. There is no checklist. Your orientation is defined by nothing more than your inner truth.
Challenges Faced By Bisexual And Pansexual People
One issue is a lack of understanding over what it means to be bi or pan. Some believe it’s only about the number of genderes a person is attracted two. In reality, both encompass attraction to multiple genders. Pansexual people often describe attraction that is based on other factors though. Meanwhile, bisexual people feel attraction to two or more genders with gender being part of that. There’s also the related myth that pansexuality is somehow more progressive or inclusive. This is divisive, when the goal should be uniting the community.
The media is also often biased in the way it portrays attraction. Too often, bi and pansexual characters are written as sexual stereotypes or used as plot devices. You may have seen the promiscuous or unstable bi character before. When people rarely encounter authentic examples of pansexual or bi people, it sends a message that their orientation isn’t valid. That’s harmful to everyone, especially young people
In some ways, social media has helped. It’s provided a way for people to tell and amplify their stories. Many online spaces now exst that help people find community. Sadly, social media also platforms bigots and ensures misinformation spreads quickly. For example, you will often see posts spreading the myth that pansexuality is about attraction to everyone or that bisexuality is inherently transphobic. The truth is that trans people can be bi or pansexual. They can also have relationships with folks who embrace those labels.
In queer circles, subtle biases remain. Some gay and lesbian individuals dismiss bi and pan folks as being half straight – essentially implying that they don’t quite belong. That’s both wrong and damaging. When bi or pan folks are in same-sex relationships, there’s often an assumption that part of their identity doesn’t matter anymore. But, it does matter. Validation and visibility create acceptance.
Finally, it’s important to know that while bi and pan experiences overlap. They are distinct from one another. Each person is in the best position to know which label applies to them. The goal should never be to correct how another person sees themselves based on your own experiences or to be pedantic about definitions. Instead, focus on ensuring that everyone feels heard and validated.
Knowledge is Key
Whether you are interested in this topic because you want to know more about yourself or be a better advocate for others, the most important factor here is a willingness to learn. You may find that some things that initially seemed “obvious” to you have orientation are actually myths.
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