Whatever your current dating environment, if you are in the male role, there are some "traffic rules" as you navigate through any dating relationship with a female. If you are not careful, you may do things that are huge turn-offs and find yourself "out the door." And the worst part is this: some of your behaviors are so ingrained, you don't realize that most women see them as turn-offs.
Take a look at the behaviors women see as the biggest turn-offs when they date someone. If any of them sound like you, make some changes. Your dating life will improve.
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Being Self-Absorbed/Cocky/a Braggart
You want to impress a woman, especially on that first date. So you spend a lot of time talking about yourself, your background, job, accomplishments, etc. Throw in some little white lies like how financially well-off you are, and you are on your way to being a cocky SOB who is the center of your whole world. No one likes a braggart, especially women who might want to talk of something other than you.
When this behavior becomes extreme, it is known as narcissism. Narcissists make very bad dates, not to mention anything after that. If you're looking for a one-night stand without any benefits, this behavior will get you just that.
One other note here. When the shoe is on the other foot this is also on a man's turn-offs list.
Being Disrespectful or Rude
People are rude or disrespectful for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, you have had a bad day and, like most of us, tend to take it out on those around you, usually by making cross remarks. These are isolated, and most women will understand. The turn-off comes when it is a repeating behavior.
There are all types of disrespect - verbally rude comments; non-verbal actions like eye rolls, sighing, or gestures; being dismissive of the feelings of others; disrespect to specific cultural or ethnic others; being passive-aggressive, or, in some cases, acting aggressively.
Narcissists are disrespectful because the feelings and needs of others aren't important. But there are other causes too - they have a sense of entitlement, they feel inferior, they may have anger issues, they never developed a sense of empathy for others, or they are just bullies who must get their way. Sometimes it's a matter of being a control freak. And most people are turned off by this behavior too.
Disrespect is one of the biggest turn-offs for women. When they observe any of these actions, they immediately wonder how they will be disrespected too. And they may have even seen the signs by the second or third date - he walks ahead of them when they are going places; he is overly flirtatious with other women when they are out; he ignores her; he spends time on his phone and takes calls while he is with her. In a woman's mind, this is rude and disrespectful. If it's not in your mind, here's a news flash: if you casually dismiss these behaviors, you are in for nothing but rejections.
Misogyny
Some men, usually because of their upbringing, are misogynous. This means that they assume women to be inferior beings, that they are to be subservient to men, and to their needs. Men who believe that they are the superior sex right now are way out of sync and living in past decades. While you may not openly make misogynist comments, you may be doing so indirectly. Thus, you make bad statements about a woman who dresses too sexily, saying she is just asking for it. Really? In this day of female drive for full equality, this is a very bad move and another one of the biggest turn-offs for women. Face your sexism and check yourself.
Misogyny goes beyond just how some men speak to their dates. When they use terms such as "little lady," "sweet cheeks," "cutie," and such. These are demeaning terms of decades ago, and using them now indicates a man still in the depths of an old patriarchal society.
Excessive Drinking
People who drink too much may have several responses - they get loud and obnoxious; they get sloppy; they become irrational in their talk. And to the woman they might be on a date with? They become an embarrassment and one of the major turn-offs. And even the person sitting at the next table at that bar will become embarrassed if you've had too many whiskeys and are making a fool of yourself.
Do yourself a favor. If you have a tendency to drink too much, get some help. No woman will give you explicit permission to be a drunk in her presence unless she is a drunk too. If she is, any dating you two do is doomed to disaster.
Too Focused on Sex Too Soon
A first date is a "get to know you" kind of thing. And that may go for the next couple of dates too. You will completely blow it if you bring up sex too soon. Even "accidentally" dropping hints about how you'd like to get into her pants should be a big "no-no." You may be really sexually attracted to her, but coming on too strong, too soon, when she's super nice and just trying to learn about who you really are, is a huge mistake. Learn to take the lead from her. Sexual desire should progress gradually unless she has given explicit permission for this to be a one-night stand with no other commitments. If a woman senses that you see women as sex objects, she's outta there.
