When you hear the phrase “trust building exercises”, your mind may flash to lame team-building exercises in the workplace or couple’s retreats where woo and pseudo-psychology dominate. On one hand, that’s a valid take. On the other, trust is absolutely foundational for our relationships to succeed, and for so many couples, that’s been eroded or was simply never there in the first place. When they are done correctly and thoughtfully, trust exercises for couples for couples can transform relationships in positive ways. This article will show how to use trust building exercises to forge a deeper connection with your partner.
What Are Trust Building Exercises?
These are planned exercises that couples or other groups of two or more engage in with the purpose of increasing trust between them. Trust building exercises may involve gameplay, completing a mutual task, writing activities, planned conversations, or other guided interactions. Couples may engage in trust exercises under the professional guidance of a couples therapist or choose to navigate these activities on their own.
The Benefits of Trust Building Exercises For Couples
When a couple is in a good position to build or rebuild trust, the right exercises can help them:
- Foster emotional intimacy
- Rebuild trust after a loss, trauma, or infidelity
- Learn to engage in more honest communication
- Gain a better understanding of the other’s strengths
- Be more prepared to tackle upcoming life challenges together
Trust building exercises for couples aren’t only for people who are struggling. Happy couples can gain an even stronger foundation for their relationship moving forward while interacting in a fun way.
How Efforts to Build Trust Can go Wrong
Trust building exercises for couples for couples aren’t always a good idea. In fact, this can be actively harmful in certain situations.
There is Abuse in The Relationship
The foundation of trust building exercises is that two people are equally interested in and responsible for dealing with trust issues in their relationship. When a relationship is abusive, there is not equal responsibility, nor should their be equal investment in saving or restoring that relationship. Just like couple’s counseling is never recommended in abusive relationships, neither is trust building.
One Partner Doesn’t Want to Participate
Whether they don’t want to participate out of skepticism, resentment, or simply feel as though the exercises violate their boundaries, no person should be pushed into taking part. Both partners should be on the same page and have shared goals before they take part.
There is no Accountability
It is possible for a couple to rebuild trust after infidelity or other betrayal. However, the person who committed the act to fracture that trust must take adequate responsibility first and make a commitment to do better in the future. If that hasn’t happened in a meaningful way, through constant effort, no trust or mindfulness exercises for couples are going to help.
There is no Clear Objective
Exercises for building trust should always be purposeful. Couples should have some specific things they want to achieve or improve on in their relationship. Otherwise, the exercises are likely to have very little positive impact.
Not Designed For Queer Relationships
Like many things in the couples therapy or self-help niches, programs that offer trust building exercises have largely been designed for and by straight people. They are based on the experiences, needs, and cultural norms of heterosexuals. Because of this, many of the methods suggested may not feel relevant for queer couples. Additionally, many programs for building trust take part in couple’s retreats or group sessions that may not be safe spaces for LGBTQIA+ partners.
5 Trust Building Exercises For a Healthy Relationship
How a Couple Can Get More Out of Trust Building
Here are some tips to help partners engage in effective communication and build trust during these exercises for couples.
Create a Good Foundation For Building Trust
Building or rebuilding trust in a relationship takes time and consistent effort. Whether two people are trying to recover from trust issues or just want to have a stronger bond, it’s important to approach every trust-builing exercise with intention and a sincere commitment to doing the work. To get the most out of these exercises, partners should begin by creating a safe environment. Both people should feel comfortable sharing their feelings and thoughts without fear of shame or judgment. It can help to set some ground rules around sensitive or confidential information so both partners feel respected.
Couples should communicate openly to set a solid foundation. They should go over expectations, ahred values, and agree that honestly is a top priority. Clear communication combined with loving acceptance makes it easier to express your own feelings and acknowledge the other person’s feelings too. This can lead to a deeper understanding and relationship satisfaction.
Small Actions Build Bonds
Don’t think only in terms of outcomes. There are benefits to be gained just from the process of taking part in these exercises with your partner. When partners play games, work on joint tasks, or just spend quality time together, they can do small but important things to improve their relationship. This includes:
- Active listening
- Putting away phones and other distractions
- Praising your partner for small accomplishments and progress
- Making eye contact
- Showing that you are enjoying spending quality time with your partner
These small actions speak louder than you realize. Sometimes, the process is more important than whether you and your partner complete some assigned task.
Know When to Drop It
Sometimes, trust building can bring up really intense feelings, resentments, and trauma. This can be a part of the process, but moving forward should always be consensual. If one partner wants to stop, that should be respected by the other partner.
Ultimately, trust-building exercises are most successful when both people engage with honesty, compassion, and a shared commitment to act in the best interest of the relationship. Over time, this helps to create a stronger bond, and increases the sense of emotional safety.
Is Trust Building Working? Here Are a Few Signs
It takes time, patience, and consistent effort to rebuild trust in a relationship. Whether you are healing a relationship after a breach of trust or just strengthening your connection, it’s important to see when your hard work is paying off. Noticing progress helps both partners feel confident about the work they are doing.
Communication Feels More Open
1. Communication Feels More Open
Open communication becomes a hallmark of rebuilding trust. You and your partner can share honest thoughts and emotions without fear of judgment. Regular trust talks, weekly check-ins, and quiet time together foster this openness. Over time, these moments replace tension with a deeper sense of understanding.
2. Consistent Actions Replace Empty Words
Building trust relies on consistent actions that match promises. When you both follow through—showing up for date nights, practicing your love languages, or staying fully present—it demonstrates commitment. This shift in focus from words to actions strengthens the bond and rebuilds emotional safety.
3. Emotional Connection Deepens
As trust grows, you’ll notice subtle but powerful changes: more eye contact, softer tones, and a willingness to look into your partner’s eyes during eye gazing or intimate conversations. You begin to track progress not only by fewer conflicts, but also by more laughter, affection, and empathy.
4. Shared Vision for the Future
When rebuilding trust, creating a vision board or setting shared goals is a helpful tool for reinforcing shared values. These visual reminders keep you both accountable and hopeful. Seeing sincere remorse and genuine effort allows you to build confidence that the relationship has a healthy future.
5. Positive Aspects Outweigh the Past
Ultimately, you’ll notice a shift in focus toward the positive aspects of the relationship. Through open dialogue, honesty, and consistent effort, you rediscover why you fell in love—and why it’s worth continuing to build trust together.