For those of you who have grown up with genital dysphoria and finally have the strength and confidence to do something about it, good for you! It's time for the guilt and any shame to be begone and for you to take your place in the world as who you are. Whether you choose to transition through hormones, surgery, or by doing nothing at all, you deserve a gratifying sex life, and so this one's for you - a full rundown of an array of toys that are yours to try and love. Trans folks, you have plenty of pleasure in store.
Sex toys are something - straight, gay, lesbian, bi, and, yes, trans people all have in common and can use for a variety of purposes - for self-play or with partners. Trans folks are no different from anyone else. And here's a news flash. Many of the same toys are used by all adults, cis or trans folks.
For example, you are a trans woman who has completely transitioned. You are ready for some serious penetrative vaginal sex and other toy play. But you don't have a cohort with a penis right now. And so, you go shopping for some great dildos, strap-ons, maybe some clit playthings, and some nipple suckers. Add some great lube, and you're all set.
So, let's explore the world of sex toys, all the varieties out there and what they do, and where you can find them.
The first consideration is high quality. Sure, you can buy toys on lots of cheap websites, but you will be disappointed. They won't last and most don't look like the photos or act like the descriptions. You might want a vibrating tool, for example, only to get one that vibrates like a limp rag in the wind or that only works once in a while. Waste of money and your time. Pleasing your body, overcoming genital dysphoria, or having sex with others is an investment. Pulseplate technology isn't cheap!
You have two options for high quality. Visit a reputable sex toy store in your area. You can see and feel the merchandise, test the vibrations, etc. Or you can use a truly reputable website - check out objective reviews on consumer review websites, not those posted on the site itself where a person can be paid to give more favorable reviews when they shouldn't.
The same goes for lubes. A bit more on that later.
Depending on where you are in your transition process if at all, you can read through these categories and make your purchase decisions accordingly. Many will depend on whether you plan on solo or couple play, the intensity of play you want, if you want beginner friendly or more advanced, whether you want to add some kink, and so on. Whatever you, your body, and your partner's bodies vibe with. Sex toys are non-binary!
The other consideration is to think about the types of sensations you want. You might have a G spot, a P spot, or an A spot that needs stimulation; you might want anal play (anal sex can be amazing no matter what your gender or sexual identity); you may want only internal stimulation via penetrative sex or precise stimulation of specific erogenous zones; you may want to add some kink or BDSM to your queer play. No matter your gender or body, there are different strokes (literally) for different folks.
Now, let's go!
This name is self-explanatory. These are tools that are used around or directly on the clitoris. They are external stimulators, not meant for penetrative sex. But they do not have to be confined to the clit. They can be used on nipples and other erogenous parts of bodies, depending on the individual. The ears, neck, testicles, labia, and so many other places on a body of a person can hit the spot with this vibe.
According to Dr. Carol Queen, a sexologist at Good Vibrations, "Terrible sex ed and confusing pop culture references make it seem like vaginal insertion is the primary way to stimulate people with vaginas, but most orgasms for them are clitoral...so exploring clitoral stimulation can be a revelation..."
The most popular design is a bullet, but newer ones include more than just vibration, including suction and even "tongues."
Oh, the magic wand. These have become really popular in recent years. They have a long handle with a large head, and usually a strong vibration with pattern options. These are great not just for the clitoris but for many other parts of our bodies too. Some use them for anal play. They are battery-operated with several different heads, to satisfy any erotic desire folks might have. Plus, when cleaned they can be used as a nice massage tool on the body. A pretty versatile toy, all things considered.
Suction tools have been around for a while, but one for the vagina is relatively new. They actually suck on the clit along with vibration, and the stimulation can be amazing, certainly resulting in pretty amazing orgasms. These can also be used on nipples!
So here's a type of tool that all trans folks will find useful, no matter what their gender is or what their genitals are currently comprised of. For those with vaginas, there are two holes to think about. For folks with a penis, there is still one magic hole to be penetrated. No need for genital dysphoria now.
Everyone knows what a dildo is but not everyone knows how they have evolved - the shapes, double-ended for multiple holes (solo or as a couple), so many different shapes, sizes, and materials, expandable, vibrating, and even with a heating element or an automatic thruster.
Dildos can also be put into harnesses as a strap for penetration or even worn as decor at the next spicy queer Pride event.
Some dildos have suction cups on the end - perfect for some shower fun all by yourself. And those that are double can even come with dual motors.
Two things here: If your dildo is expandable, you won't have any problem with size. But if it comes in a set size, you will want to make sure you get as close to the perfect size as possible. For you folks that are beginners, start small and work your way up as you wish. Material is also a matter of personal choice - hard or soft silicone, rubber, glass, and even stainless steel. The ease at which you can wash the materials may be something to keep in mind while browsing.
The other important thing is that any dildo to be used in the butt needs to have a flat stopper on the end. Neither you nor a partner wants to end up in the emergency room - that sort of spoils all of the ambiance, don't you think?
There is such variety that, really, there is a dildo or several for any trans person. For those who still have a penis either pre-op trans woman or non-binary folks, there are hollow varieties that the penis can be placed inside as a strap, so penetrative sex can still occur without a high risk of dysphoria.
Fun Fact: Some trans women or femme non-binary folks refer to their genitals as a strap
Trans women have a bit of an advantage here if they have vaginas. And trans guys who have not transitioned yet have this same advantage too. If non-binary folks have a vagina this is a benefit to them too. That's because in the vagina are both the G and A-spots. the G-spot is located on the upper wall of the vagina and is highly erotic. The A-spot is a bit further up, and it is recommended that a toy be at least five inches to hit it.
The penile anatomy has a P-spot, named for the prostrate. This gland expands during sex, and applying pressure on that spot (it's the consistency of a medium steak) internally can cause even greater arousal. But it can also be reached externally by applying pressure in the area between the balls and the anus (it's a bit indented).
The devices to stimulate these spots are curved because, in all three instances, the spots are located on the wall toward the stomach. Some have vibrations for increased arousal.
These are not new. In fact, there's a bit of history here. These cute little fuckers were once made in bright colors with little vibrating animals, just to get around older obscenity laws. the animals are now gone, but the name remains.
This is a dream for trans women who have completed their transitions. The point of this combo vibrator is to have penetrative sex for the vagina, while the other end serves to stimulate the clit. And a single handle does both. Imagine trying to go solo with one hand holding the vibrator for the vagina and the other trying to work on the clit. This great little tool gives you one free hand so you can wipe the sweat off your face (because sweat you will) or rub your nipples at the same time. What a way to complete amazing masturbation.
Not that this combo can't be used on trans women by a second party. And again, it leaves one hand free for the top to have other play and two free hands for trans women. Wow. All those wonderful and amazing vibrations with three hands are available for other sensations to be achieved across the body.
OK, you trans guys, this one's for you. Now a cock ring is usually placed at the base of the penis. Here's a little biology. An erection occurs because of increased blood flow into the dick during arousal. If the cock ring is then placed at the base, it keeps that blood in and makes the erection last longer. This is especially good if a partner takes longer to climax.
But, it's a versatile little device too. Because it can vibe. If you are going solo, you can place it at the head of your penis and enjoy that vibe all on your own. Cock rings are pretty reasonable, and they are even rechargeable (no batteries to buy - yeah).
The butt hole has a lot of nerves. And if they are long enough, they can also stimulate the prostrate for those who have one. Trans men, trans women, and non-binary people can enjoy a butt plug. for those with a vagina, penetration is actually better because the bottom feels fuller.
Two reminders here: a butt plug must have a flared base, so it is not "lost," and lube is a requirement, especially if the plug is a bit longer.
Basically, this device is a string of beads that will stimulate the sphincter muscle when they are inserted into the butt and then pulled out slowly. This type of anal sensation can bring huge pleasure and some report having an orgasm this way.
Most butt balls are tapered and made of silicone. Lubing that anal canal will be a must but not too much. The pleasure comes from friction.
The name says it all. If you are trans and have a dick, you'll want to try a sleeve. Your penis goes into that sleeve and then you masturbate with it. One of the great things is that two people with penises can masturbate together or masturbate each other. Fun couple sex!
Cock sleeves are actually designed to enhance the sensation, and some of them have a vibrator built in. Mostly, they are sold in batches so there is a variety to choose from - have fun experimenting.
So, lots of sex toys pander to plenty of parts of the bodies and our minds too. And they come with the ability to increase sensations during sex. The fact that a sex toy is not a more "common" tool doesn't make it any less enticing to lots of people, trans folks included.
We all know what kink and BDSM are and most of us have heard of the sex toys involved - blindfolds, handcuffs, feather ticklers, whips, riding crops, chains, and restraints to name just a few. These are divided into two categories - impact or sensation sex toys.
The idea of an impact sex toy is that a bit of pain can be a huge turn-on. And the percentage of trans folks who are into impact sex is about the same as all other gender identities.
Impact play may involve something as simple as a slap on the butt. But a sex toy or two that provides impact can be even sexier and more arousing. And make no mistake about it. For the most part, impact sex involves couples. It means that trans folks of all sub-categories will use sex toys on one another. Finding those partners may mean checking out Taimi.com to explore the field and find the perfect match - someone who is into the same type of sex and the use of sex toys to achieve the trans kinky fun they seek. That said, let's explore some of the types of sex toy that will achieve impact"
A paddle is a sex toy that can provide either a stingy or a thuddy impact. If it is cushioned, it's thuddy; if not, it's stingy. The cushioned paddle is more beginner friendly. Trans folk who are more advanced or who want more pain will take on the uncushioned one.
The magic wand, commonly called the riding crop is one of those toys that can, just as it is, provide all levels of pain, depending on what couples agree upon. Lots of trans women with breasts like some gentle-to-medium strikes here. Other areas for these types of toys are the butt, the thigh, and the back.
The whip. These toys vary in materials, depending on whether folks prefer thud or sting. Some of these toys are made of scarves/soft clothes, while others are of leather. Places on bodies where these should be used are the same as the crop.
A sensation toy can vary from a simple blindfold to being caressed by scarves or tickled with feathers, to bondage with chains and ties. A sensation toy is often used to stimulate erogenous areas of the body other than the genitals or to eliminate one or more senses to add to the excitement of the sex.
A few additional points to be made here:
no one should ever use toys on another body without full consent. Consent involves having an outline of what the sex will entail. The toys used should not necessarily be a surprise.
The receiver of the use of toys must have a safe word or a cue to indicate that the sex is to stop. While kink and bondage can be a part of a dominant/submissive situation where one has the "power," the events are still mutual.
Most toys will require lube of some sort; other toys do not. The purpose of a lube is to reduce the friction that can occur, especially during penetration. This is true whether the penetration is with body organs or a toy. Whether with another person or on your own, always use more lube than you think you need.
There are five types of lubes - water, silicone, oil, combinations, or natural. So, as folks shop for lubes, they need to know which is best for their purposes.
This is a good place to begin because a water-based lubricant can be used for natural or toy-based sex.
Silicone lubes last longer, but there are drawbacks. If they are used with a silicone toy, they will break down that toy over time.
Oil lubes are also longer lasting but should never be used with condoms. The lube can cause a condom to break or tear. They also are harder to clean off fabrics like bed sheets.
Most combination lubes are of water and silicone. They provide less friction and last longer at the same time.
These come from totally natural ingredients, such as coconut or peanut oil.
Keep this in mind. Trans women, trans men, and non-binary people have every right to exciting and gratifying sex life, just as anyone does. And for pleasure, any kind of toy might be used, depending on individual preferences. Choosing the right toy or toys will involve some research, exploration, and then experimentation. But the information here should give you a good start on your journey through sex toy land.
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