Last Updated 25.11.2022
12 min read

Trans Couples - Now Here's Some Diversity!

Alan Schin (he/him/his) is the Chief Editor at Taimi. He wears several hats daily as a writer, editor, blogger, and content contributor. He began his university studies as a Psychology student but found his passion in Advanced Communication Studies. Alan loves having the opportunity to write and help our content team shine. According to Alan, his education helps him to understand the dynamics behind dating and socialization better. When he isn’t busy with Taimi, Alan works on his first novel, a sci-fi thriller, and creates works of art in his ceramics studio.

Trans Couple Support? (@transcouples_) β€’ Instagram photos and videos

So just what are trans couples? The possibilities are endless. Is it a trans woman with a trans man or with another trans woman? Could it be trans women with cis males? Or maybe a trans man with another trans man or cis male? And what about trans people with non-binary partners? All of these and more can be considered trans couples and/or relationships.

Post main image

Table of Content

    So, let's dispense with gender identity for a moment (it can get complicated because you can have more than one), as well as any talk of hormone therapy or surgery, and get to the real point. What makes a transgender couple a couple is love - love for themselves and love for one another. And truly, that's the most important thing, indeed, the only thing that matters.

    That said, it's important to take a look at some individual stories of couples comprised of at least one trans person, and, in many cases, two. Their stories are true and inspirational and can give us all hope that love is truly universal. One important point here. While these are true stories, names, places, and other details have been edited in order to protect both privacy and copyright laws.

    Let's have a look at the world of trans love through the eyes of those who live it.

    Billie and Joe

    Billie knew she was meant to be a girl when still in elementary school. Her friends were all female, and she loved to play with Barbies and dress up in princess costumes. With parental support, she began her transition during adolescence, ultimately having top and bottom surgical procedures. After college, she went into social work and ended up at a non-profit LGBTQ center, working with trans teens. She met Joe when they both participated in a round table panel at a local Pride event. "He was stunning," Billie says. Joe obviously felt the same about her, and they immediately felt the chemistry and connection. Joe had completed his transition too. So here they were, these two, Billie a transgender woman, and Joe a trans man. Together they look like any heteronormal couple. Today they are married, have adopted two kids, and are "living the dream" in their careers and as LGBTQ+ activists. "

    Susan and Sally

    Sally and Stuart met in college. They shared lots of interests - political activism, writing for the student newspaper, and even the same major - journalism. Throughout those college years, they were almost inseparable, and, yes, they developed a romantic and sexual relationship. As Sally recalls, "We were just the perfect couple. We sailed through college on the same ship, my parents loved him, and his family loved me. When two people are so compatible, marriage is just a natural next step." And so, their marriage confirmed their love shortly after graduation and each took jobs with separate newspapers, one at a physical location and one online. Life was good. Over time, they had two children.

    About 12 years into their marriage, Stuart sat Sally down and told her the truth. He was never comfortable as a male; he knew years ago that he was a female in the wrong body, but bent to the pressures of his family, friends, and, yes, society. So, he lived a lie. At the same time, he told Sally that he deeply loved her and did not want to be with anyone else, ever. He wanted her as his wife forever, but just in a different form.

    Sally's first reaction? "I was in shock, of course. And as I tried to absorb what Stuart was saying to me, a million thoughts were running through my head. Our marriage was over; I needed to leave and take the kids with me; how could he live such a lie all these years? Where was the trust we had built all these years? I was literally sick to my stomach."

    "I didn't know anything about transgender people other than the current issues about sports and bathrooms that I covered as a journalist. I did as Stuart asked. I began a deep dive of research into the transgender community as a whole and trans women specifically. What I learned was that Stuart's situation was not unusual. Lots of trans women eventually come out after years of hiding their true identities and living a lie. I began to develop a strong sense of empathy for their situations."

    "On a personal level, I knew that I loved Stuart with all my heart and did not want to destroy our family. And so, we entered couples therapy, with an expert on LGBTQ+ family issues. He was literally amazing. In fact, after one session, we actually went home and made love."

    "The next step, of course, was how and how much to reveal to family, friends, and, most importantly the kids. Stuart was ready to be open. He changed his name to Susan. She began to wear unisex clothing at work and obviously female dress at home and when we went out. In our career field, there are plenty of LGBTQ+ pros, and his closest colleagues became aware - no one really cared. They had close relationships before and after. Stuart and Susan were one and the same to them."

    The biggest worry was how their family and kids would accept this new relationship and how their lives could be impacted if their families rejected them. Susan's idea was to visit them and reveal in person, with the hope that they would see that nothing had really changed in their relationship.

    "To say that they had complete understanding would be untrue," says Susan. "But, over time, they did come to see that I was the same person I had always been, and our relationships with them stayed close. As for the kids? They were just the best, even though very young. My 7-year-old thought it was just fine since she had a friend at school who had two daddies."

    Today, Susan and Sally are still happily married. they focus on their love and their rich life which is far more than just one of them being a transgender woman. Susan has started hormone treatments and is contemplating surgical transition at some point. As for sex? Yes, they are active!

    Tia and George

    It's funny how our lives change with chance circumstances and meetings. These two were at a national conference by and for trans people. Tia could be called a transgender woman but is actually non-binary; George is a trans male but also non-binary. The couple met by accident in the buffet line when George spilled hot gravy on Tia's wrist. The chemistry was quite immediate, according to both, and they spent the rest of the conference together.

    "The thing is," says Tia, "neither of us even asked or cared about genitals or where we were on our journey to be male or female, if we even were. We were just absorbed in each other mentally and emotionally. We laugh about the myth that trans relationships are all about sex. At any rate, from that first night and certainly after one week, we knew we would spend the rest of our lives together. I went home with George after the conference and here we stay, two people very much in love."

    "Are we male or female," says George, "Who cares? Gender is just a term to us, and we don't need to answer the question to each other or to the world. We've talked about transitioning to be fully gender-specific, but it's not top of our list. Right now, we love who we are together, and life couldn't be better. We're also pretty active in the transgender community, telling our story and encouraging others to search for their own story too. We've even made a few videos about the beauty of T4T relationships that are gaining in popularity within the trans community."

    Beyond that George continues in his "real" job as a professor, and Tia continues her work as an online media specialist.

    TikTok and the Transgender Love of Chris and Owen

    Chris and Owen both had very active TikTok accounts. Chris began to follow Owen, a trans man with a great sense of humor.

    "That's what attracted me most of all," says Chris. "He found so much humor in his transgender life, while so many trans people simply talk about their challenges and issues. He provides good comic relief. I kept responding to his posts with the hope that he would notice me more and come over to view some of mine. In short, I was horribly infatuated."

    "It took a while for me to notice her," says Owen, "but she just kept coming up over and over. Finally, I accessed her account and started responding to her posts. She had an opinion on everything, and I mean everything. But there was a flair I couldn't resist."

    Finally, Chris and Owen began to exchange texts and phone calls. Their first date didn't happen for almost a year later, given that they lived on opposite sides of the country.

    "Some things are just meant to be," Chris continues, "and that's us. Owen is just so funny and outgoing, and I am a bit of a motor mouth myself. But both of us are committed to supporting trans people, and we use all of our social media accounts to promote tolerance and equality. We also volunteer at an LGBTQ+ youth center. Owen is an adolescent therapist by profession, and his work with trans young people at the center has made a huge difference in their lives."

    As for transitioning, Owen has had both hormone therapy and top surgery. Chris is not there yet but says the thought of having real boobs is certainly appealing.

    A Trans Male Gives Birth - The Story of Ariel and Daryl

    When two trans people fall in love and want the same things, they are a force to be reckoned with. Such is the story of Ariel, a trans woman, and Daryl, a trans male. Their relationship began seven years ago when they met through mutual trans friendships. Both were fully transitioned at the time and had quite an active sexual history. Romantic love, though, had just not been in the cards for them - until they met one another, that is.

    "I'm not sure what happened," says Daryl. "You've heard of something hitting like a lightning bolt? That's what it was like. We locked eyes, and it was all over. My world was forever changed. We spent the entire evening into the early hours of the morning, each of us sharing our story. As trans people with a long history of the same struggles that all transgender people have faced, as well as the prospect of being a mixed-race couple, we had much to discuss. My hope was that this might be the real thing. Turns out it was, and my guess about us was right on. We're as much in love today as we were when love surprised me five years ago."

    Two years ago, Ariel and Daryl decided to expand their world with a child. Obviously, Ariel, the trans female of the pair could not get pregnant. And so, by invitro fertilization, the trans male of this couple got pregnant.

    "You can imagine the looks we got as this manly-looking man began to show. And the looks in receiving when he went into labor. On the birth certificate for our darling Monica, the trans who gave birth to her is listed as her father."

    Michelle and Augustus

    Michelle was the married mother of three amazing kids. She had a hard-working and loving husband. She came out as lesbian 12 years into their marriage, their relationship died, and they divorced. She remained a great mom to those children, explaining who she now was, as soon as they were old enough to understand (the youngest was 3 at the time of the split). All three love their mom dearly, and their parent-child relationship is as strong as ever.

    Michelle wanted love. That's when she met Ashley, at a support group for lesbian moms. Over time, their relationship grew from friendship to romance, and Ashley moved in. Michelle was almost morbidly overweight, and it was Ashley who motivated her to change her diet, work out, and ultimately participate in short runs around town - many of them to support the LGBTQ+ community.

    A few years into their relationship, Ashley announced that she really was trans and wanted to love Michelle as a transgender male. Such is the world we live in today - sexual diversity and flexibility allow all of us to be who we are at different stages of our sexuality.

    "It was a jolt, to be sure," says Michelle. "I thought we had the perfect lesbian relationship, and here I was again faced with a male partner. We did get into therapy right away because our love was so deep and so intense, and I wanted to see if we could use that love to sustain us. That was the best decision we made."

    "We had some deep and sometimes agonizing discussions," says Augustus (now shortened to Gus), "but through it all, we never once considered ending our relationship. And part of it comes down to respect for one another too. Ultimately, we had the ability to come to the perfect agreement for how we would move forward."

    That agreement included Gus taking hormone treatments and having top surgery. He looks all guy now, complete with facial hair. To the public, they look like a normal cis couple. But their bottoms are the same, and their lovemaking is just as gratifying as ever.

    Eventually, Michelle and Gus married, he finished college and became a high school male math teacher, while Michelle continues her career with a large telecommunications company. Are they happy? "Intensely so," says Michelle.

    They Got it Right

    These six couples should serve as both models and inspiration to anyone who is moving into a trans relationship or who is struggling to sustain one that may be thrust upon them. The one common factor in each of these stories is love - love that sustains them through all of the challenges and struggles and allows them to emerge victorious.

    Taimi is free to download. Taimi Premium subscription provides access to features unavailable or limited in the free version of the app.

    Follow the latest Taimi news on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.

    Share this post:
    Start Dating Quiz