Making plans in advance about your texts and the date itself is very important. Knowing what you wish to say and how will make you less stressed, even in case the other person responds to you negatively. Here are some great tips and tricks on how to ask someone out over text and make sure it is a success.
I’m over these gay guys and the games they play. Imma start dating my sisters...who should I ask out on a date????
— Mayhem Miller (@TheOnlyMayhem) August 16, 2020
Is Asking Someone Out Over Text a Good Idea?
There are both positives and negatives when it comes to asking someone out over a text message. It is important that you weigh both sides and then decide which option would be the best for you.
First of all, asking someone to go out with you over text can be the perfect solution for every introvert who is too shy to ask that in person. Texts give you more control over any conversation and can help you express yourself a lot easier. At the same time though, they don't allow you to use your body language to show your true emotions and intentions.
Most introverts would have a very hard time saying what's on their mind with someone looking into their eyes, so this gives them the opportunity to not forget anything they wanted to say.
That being said, text messages might not help you show your emotions in the way they should. For example, when you have a verbal conversation with someone, you are easily able to switch your tone of voice and focus your attention on certain words and emotions you wish to convey. The only real way of doing that through texts is by using emojis to show your emotions in every sentence.
Overall, asking someone over a text can be a little tricky as they might not find it as personal as if you had told them in person. This is always a chance you have to take if you feel like sending a text is the best option for you and that's okay. This will not undermine the fun you will have on the actual date so choose what makes you feel more comfortable and confident.
Start by Giving Them a Compliment
To kick off a text conversation on the right foot, you can give the other person a compliment! Just like in real life, you can approach someone and break the proverbial ice by complimenting them on their appearance, lifestyle, hobbies, and anything else listed on their social media or dating app profile. You'll feel less pressure and more confidence in opening a conversation if you start by sending an honest and well-intended compliment to the person you're into.
People receive text messages from people who are apparently into them all the time - by genuinely making a point of someone's facial features, body language, style of writing, or any other info you find online, you'll be at a distinct advantage. Most people really are surprised when someone texts them simply to tell them they like the smile on their profile pics - and that's just one example of what you can do!
They'll be far more interested in following up on your message with compliments of their own and feel comfortable talking to you moving forward. Even if you're unsure of whether you're into someone, compliments can be a start of a fun time together and you can suggest online dating down the line if you vibe with the person on the other end.
Make Sure You are Close Before Asking Them Out
One of the things you will have to work on is making sure that you have spent some time getting to know them before you ask them out. This is important for a lot of different reasons and it will help you increase your chances of actually turning this date into a success.
First and foremost, you will know more about the things they like to do and everything you have in common. The more the things that connect you, the higher the possibility of them seeing you in a romantic way. You will be able to do fun things together and they know they won't get bored at all during this date.
In addition to that, you will also have the chance to see what you truly like in this person. When you know someone for a short amount of time, it is possible that you will confuse liking their appearance with their personality. Talking to them and even becoming friends will help you learn more about them and see exactly which qualities you love about them.
All these factors will make asking them out a lot easier as they will already see you on a friendly level. Sometimes, it takes a little time getting to know them better before they even consider you as a potential relationship. Therefore, make sure that you spend some time getting to know them and be on friendly terms before asking them the big question.
Be Specific About This Being a Date
You should try and find out how the person feels sooner rather than later in terms of dating you. Most people appreciate knowing whether they're actually talking to someone who is romantically interested in them or just wants to be friends. As your text conversations go on, try and be specific about the fact that you're inviting the other person on a date.
Don't wait too long until making it clear and talk to them about how you feel. Be friendly, be polite, and be affectionate without going overboard and professing your love to them. After all, you've been sending messages back and forth for a few weeks and you want to move things forward slowly. If the person isn't interested in seeing you (yet), don't take it too personally and go through hard feelings. They might just be reserved, introverted, or have had bad experiences in the past with text message invitations.
Express your interest in meeting them or talking to them on the phone for the first time to see whether you click with one another. And hey, you yourself might come to realize that this isn't the right thing for you right now and choose a less romantic course of action, such as becoming very good friends with the person on the other end.
Let Them Choose an Activity They Enjoy
One of the things you need to plan in advance is who will focus on planning the activity of the date and where it will take place. Some people like to be caught off guard and others prefer to be able to choose the location and activity by themselves. You need to openly communicate this with the other person and see what their idea is.
After you have told them you wish to go on a date, ask them when they are next available so you start making arrangements. Ask them openly whether they would prefer they choose what you will do on the date or if they would like you to surprise them.
This is exactly why getting to know them in advance is important. Since you will know the things they like and dislike, you will be able to go ahead and make arrangements based on these facts. Even if they choose the location themselves, you can still keep a few aces up your sleeve and surprise them with something unexpected. This gives you a higher likelihood of the date being a success and them wanting to go on more dates with you.