Taimi
Whether you are starting out either a romantic relationship or a friendship, there are many turn-offs in a relationship you should avoid from the very beginning. These can determine the future of this relationship and show you certain important qualities of this person from the very start.
Usually, in the first few months of every relationship, people show their best selves but after some time, you might notice a huge turn in their emotions and actions. So, whether you are going on a first date or have been seeing them for a while, here are some turn-offs to look out for.
Have you ever gone on a first date with someone and you realize they recently got out of a past relationship? If they keep talking about things their ex did or proceed to explain why they broke up, this is certainly a big turn-off.
You want to get to know them first but instead, they focus on talking about other men. While it is hard to overcome feelings for someone you were dating, talking about them to a potential partner is definitely a no-go and a sign you are not over them.
Along with the previous point, when you hear someone talk very badly about their exes, that is a big red flag, especially if they mention more than one person. It truly makes you wonder if they just had bad luck in relationships or if they tend to talk about anyone they were dating.
Either way, this is another turn-off that can show you a lot about someone's personality and the respect they show towards the partners they are dating.
Something many people dislike when it comes to getting to know someone is finding out they are rude to service staff when they are out on a first date. The world doesn't revolve around them and there is no reason to be impolite to someone doing their job and trying to service you.
This disrespect could show you a glimpse of how they will react towards other people in different situations. It shows entitlement and it surely isn't attractive when rudeness is the only thing that comes out of someone's mouth.
While having a job isn't the most important thing, trying to find a job or having ambitions for the future is important. It is such a turn-off when the person you are trying to date or become friends with doesn't have dreams or ambitions for the future.
Here it is important to note that certain people might be struggling with depression and this can impact them to feel or act this way. It is up to you to figure out whether it is personal problems or genuine laziness that is making them not work on their personal plans and future.
Even introverted people will want to go out on diners and spend time with you whenever they can. If someone gets too comfortable in a relationship, they can start not wanting to dress up or go on dates. If this is something you need from your partner, don't settle for less.
It is alright to have dates at home and can help create a bond between partners. At the same time, this should not be the only option, especially if you keep asking them to do more. Going out for food or fun dates can especially do a lot for couples that have been together a while.
One of the biggest turn-offs is when a partner doesn't care about their personal hygiene. While this is usually a problem with guys, it can happen to anyone. This is by no means related to them having poor taste in clothes. It just reflects how much they care about their health and is a sign of laziness.
Sometimes, they might not notice it if they have bad breath or a smelly shirt, so make sure that you make a discreet comment. If that idea doesn't work and you see that they put zero effort into keeping themselves clean, you might want to rethink your priorities.
While jealousy is not a turn-off in itself, it is not positive either when your partner deliberately tries to make you jealous. The person you are with needs to understand your feelings and make you feel secure in trusting them.
Trying to make someone that cares about you jealous on purpose just to validate their feelings constantly is childish. This can truly harm the confidence and trust between two partners and drift them apart.
If the person you started dating is constantly talking about stories where they are either the hero or the victim, it can easily make you lose interest. Sharing personal experiences is a great part of bonding between partners. Trying to make the person you are with look up to you or feel pity for you is wrong.
Constantly positioning themselves as the hero or the victim in any story and twisting reality is a sign that they have a lot of work to do on their personality and perception of themselves before they start dating anyone.
It is such a big turn-off when you are happily sharing details about something that excites you and you see that your friend or partner is not interested. Listening to you with enthusiasm can be one of the little things that can matter to someone a lot.
Being aware of when your partner needs you to pay attention means that they will also listen to your interests with the same attention. Complaining that they talk too much can cause your partner to have low self-esteem and not want to share any exciting moments with you.
Spending time by yourself, whether that is after an argument or a long day at work is normal. Many people need some quality time to themselves to relax and not have to think about anything.
If you have discussed this with your partner and they get upset every time you tell them you need some personal space, it can be a big turn-off.
When someone is lying for just about anything, even if it is small and insignificant lies, it is definitely a red flag. Keep an eye out for this kind of behavior because it might be a sign that lying just comes to them naturally.
If they lie about small things, what else could they lie about? This can cause a lot of trust issues and fear on your part as you will always be wondering about that very question.
This is something that many partners complain about that most men tend to do, but also there are women in relationships who will not notice changes or have anything nice to say. In gay or straight relationships alike, some people can be totally ignorant to when you change your hair color or dress nicely.
This can make you feel very upset if you want them to notice. If this isn't something they do by default, you can have a conversation on it. This is another one of the most minuscule things that might seem unimportant but can make you feel appreciated and loved by your partner.
Sometimes, partners need some time away from each other to cool off. This is healthy and can prevent people from saying things they might regret in the heat of the moment. On the other hand, giving someone silent treatment after the fight is done is honestly a terrible way of lowering their self-respect.
No matter how much they might have on their head, they should not go a few days without checking in on you. When you love the other person, you're supposed to show understanding and take steps that can lead you to make up again. This is a sign of manipulative behavior and a very big turn-off that can mess up your mental health.
This is a sign that can make the difference between a girl and a woman and a boy and a man. Taking responsibility for your actions and apologizing to the other person, whether this is just a friendship or a romantic relationship can mean a lot.
If the person you are with never admits they have made a mistake, this can mean they have some sort of issue with being in control. This is definitely a red flag and a sign for you to be careful of how the future of this relationship will proceed.
Sex is a part of every romantic setting that needs to work for both people included. Whether you are casually dating or not, you should both work on finding ways to make sex enjoyable and fun for everyone included.
If they are lazy or don't take the time to help you out after they have finished, you should take this as a sign that they will probably not want to take care of your other needs either. This includes women and guys and is one of the very big turn-offs.
Anger issues can be one of the biggest turn-ons and red flags that you should never dismiss when meeting someone new. If you have conversations and the person can't keep their cool, this is a sign that their aggression can get worse.
It is important that you don't ignore such behaviors as they can lead to an abusive situation that no woman, girl, or any other person should find themselves in.
When you first get into a new relationship, whether that is a romantic one or one between friends, you can easily choose to overlook red flags and any other negative sign. You might like certain things about that person a lot and you might prefer to choose the positives over the negatives.
When you see that someone shows certain behaviors which could grow to be abusive, you need to put yourself first and protect your boundaries. While some people might just be a little quirky, others can take advantage of your tolerance. Choose wisely who you open up to and who you let into your life, especially if you feel like something is wrong.
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