“I married my soulmate.” “I’ve found my soulmate.” These words come out of people’s mouths all the time. And most of the time, if you ask them to define the term “soulmate,” they’ll speak to how close they are with their life partner or spouse and how they see “eye to eye” on everything. They were just meant to be together. It’s sounds ideal, until you see the stats on breakups and divorces. Maybe that soulmate was a “false start” and you need to keep looking?
The point is everyone seems to have their own idea of what a soulmate is and what a soulmate relationship looks like.
But if you really want to learn about the true meaning of “soulmate,” then you’ll want to read on. Because there is a big difference between the commonly “secular” definition and that of spiritual experts who have studied.
No matter what your spiritual beliefs may or may not be, how about taking a journey through the “world” of soulmates as seen through the eyes of these spiritualists. You’ll gain understanding and perhaps be pushed into a new realm of thinking.
Defining Soulmate
Have you ever met someone and just instantly “clicked?” This doesn’t have to be a romantic “click” at all. You just somehow feel in your gut that you and this other person have some kind of deep connection, and they feel the same. Spiritualists will say you have met a soulmate.
You both are instantly comfortable without having to make any effort. It’s more than being best friends or potential romantic partners. It’s a sense that you have somehow always known and understood one another. The connection is deep, significant, and can often be life changing.
For those who believe in reincarnation, a soulmate is someone who was known in at least one past life (often multiple lifetimes), and the souls meet now as it was pre-destined and agreed upon.
For those who believe in God, it’s as if He placed this person in your path so you would meet and share a strong connection for a purpose.
Will this be a forever connection for the rest of your lives? It can be. It can result in a romantic partnership or marriage or a lifelong friendship. It could be temporary and for just one shared mission or lesson or more permanent and last many years.
Most spiritualists tell us that we have many more than just one soulmate, more than the one who enters our love life and brings about romantic partners. There can actually be multiple soulmate relationships in our lives. These can be all separate individuals, but not necessarily. Some may fill several soulmate roles. For example, two people, from their first date or meeting have connected in such a way that they have true love. But in addition to that true love, they have a friendship bond that they have never known before. And they may share critical passions – passions about animal cruelty, the environment, or political beliefs, for example.
Types of Soulmates
As you read each of these descriptions, think about the people in your life, past or present who may have or currently are playing these different roles in your real life.
Soul Partners
Many people, upon seeing this term, think of a romantic bond as people marry and develop a partnership based upon that marriage. But soul partners are a much broader category. A soul partner is in your life to support you in many ways – professionally, emotionally, socially, and more.
Yes, a soul partner can be the person you marry. But marriage is only one of many soul partnerships. These could be business partnerships, for example. You meet someone, share a passion for a business idea and form that enterprise together.
Other soul partnerships may include your relationship with a sibling who is your biggest cheerleader as you pursue your dreams. It could be a person in a position to promote you or gives you that break you need to jump-start your career.
Your soul was planted in this time and space for a purpose, and it matters. Your soul partners will help you achieve that purpose. And clearly, you may have many more than one.
Soul Ties
There is an old Christian hymn called “Blessed Be the Tie That Binds.” And this is sort of what a soul tie is – someone who has come into your life not as a mate or partner but as a person who has made an effort to help you understand your purpose or learn a lesson.
For example, you have met and bonded with someone you consider a friend. That friend suddenly has a crisis, and you are there to help them through it. In the process of helping them, you might happen upon someone else who is meant to be a soul partner.
You see? All this is interwoven into the fabric of human connectedness that most spiritualists say weaves the larger fabric of the complete connectedness of all life on this planet, past, present, and future. Some call it “universal mind.”
Past-life Soul Mates
Reincarnation is steeped in many Eastern religions. If you know anything about the Hindu religion, for example, you understand this belief.
And also steeped into this believe if karma. So, if any human in the now is experiencing hurt, pain, or is unhappy in their current existence, the answer might just lie in the deeds of their past life that they must now work hard to “pay” for so they can move forward. But the whole concept of karma is the fodder for a separate article, so we’ll just leave it there.
Past soul mates may have agreed to meet up again in their current lives so that they can continue to pursue purposes agreed upon in their past incarnations.
All this explains the immediate and sudden connectedness that two humans experience upon meeting for the first time. In a romantic situation, for example, two people may know immediately that they were meant to be together.
For example, popular US cable news personality Rachel Maddow describes her chance meeting with her partner Susan. Susan was a landscape designer who showed up to work for Maddow. When Maddow answered her knock on the door, both knew immediately and completely that they were meant to be. And they have been, ever since. These two women have a bond that will not ever be broken. The chemistry was just there, and they acted upon it with no fear – they just knew.
Now, two souls who have agreed to meet again in this lifetime may not be meant to develop any kind of partnership. the soulmate relationship may need to be healed from prior pain or to let each other go from prior relationships that have held them back from their lessons and purposes. So, while there may be pain in this letting go, it is necessary for both souls to move forward.
Karmic Soulmate Relationships
We often hear the phrase, “Karma’s a bitch.” This refers to bad things that happen to men and women whom we want to answer for the bad things they have done in this lifetime by bad things happening to them.
Karma is, above all, the law of cause and effect coming to bear. It’s not a punishment or a reward. It’s a neutral law of truth. Even the Bible states this truth: “Whatsoever ye reap, ye shall sow.” Sometimes we speak this truth as “What goes around comes around.”
Some others come into our lives to help us recognize the truth of karma and, most importantly, to change our behaviors so that we may evolve as souls in the current lifetime and spend our next lives with less garbage on our backs.
So, if you meet someone who inspires you to be a better human, listen to them. And as you listen, let their words speak to you and make a difference in your current lifestyle. You can be proud of how you have changed.
Romantic Soulmate Relationships
When someone enters into a romantic relationship, it absolutely can be a partnership that will allow both of you to learn, develop, and grow together – it’s like being in the same school classes. And, of course, there can be plenty of fun involved too, as that relationship simmers.
But fun is not always a part of a romantic relationship. There are times when both are challenged by each other to step into unchartered waters and take risks to grow. And there are times when the earlier wounds of past relationships are neutralized.
Twin Flames
This is a really intense bond between two people and a definite sign that they have had past lives together on this earth. Sometimes, they have lost each other during those lives, only to find one another again this time around. It’s as if they have both been waiting to reunite.
Some spiritualists believe that twin flames are so connected because at one point they were one soul that split into two and are now housed in two different physical bodies. There’s a sense, when they meet, that they should be one person.
The bond can be romantic and often is but can be a part of other close relationships too, such as siblings for example.
Friend Soulmates
Sometimes, you meet people who surpass all of the other friendships you have. There’s an epic bond that makes both of you want to journey through you lifetimes together. this doesn’t mean that you live together or even nearby. Your paths may lead to be physically separated, but through it all, neither of you has lost that bond. You reveal your most inner selves to each other. You share all joys, sorrows, and challenges and continue to encourage and support one another completely.
Soul Groups or “Families”
These mates are those around the planet who share your mission, your passions, and your goals for the universe. You may, in fact, never meet them. Or they may even be a part of your groups of family and friends close by. You may have incarnated into an earthly family to assist in healing. Perhaps a family member has a mental illness or a drug addiction. Your purpose may be to help in that family member’s healing.
Kindred Spirits
These may not be soulmates. The may just be people who “get” you and who share the same spiritual beliefs, the same focus on social, economic, or political issues. Or you may have shared the same experiences. These are important people to have in your circle because they reinforce what your purpose in this incarnation is.
Soul Agreements and Contracts
In a previous incarnation, you and another may have made an agreement of what you both will do in the next incarnation. It’s like a contract, but the specifics are definitely here. You may have agreed to join a family in which one member has a serious problem. You may have agreed to write and publish a book on a specific topic. You may have agreed to join a certain organization that is working on a major social or political issue. You may have agreed to marry a certain person or type of person. Or you may have agreed to start a business in a certain economic sector.
Such contracts may change if you find yourself in a situation that is untenable and you sense that the situation is just wrong.
What this contract does, though, is give you the incentive to achieve what you set out to do. It becomes your story in this incarnation.
Soul Teachers
These may not be permanent bodies who come in and stay around for the long haul. Instead, they come in at the right time in order to mentor and encourage you to take a certain path. The path may relate to your education or career; it may relate to teaching you how to manage the stress or anxiety you deal with; it may relate to showing you how to improve your relationships with others.
Whatever the purpose of a soul teacher (and you may have more than one in your lifetime), they tend to be way showers who bow out once the lessons are complete. These are special relationships, and spiritualists say that you probably have been both a teacher and a student during previous incarnations.
Soul Crossings
These are soul mate relationships that are brief. Someone may come in who you just feel an immediate and strong connection with. But they don’t stay long at all. It may be a question of bad timing – the circumstances are not right for you to be long-term; their earthly presence with you is meant to be very short-term from the beginning; perhaps they die; or maybe it’s a child in your neighborhood whose purpose was to help you to develop greater empathy, and that child then moves away.
Whatever the reason, you realize the truth of this strong connection, but it is soon physically over.
So, you now know how spiritualists define soulmates, the types of soulmates you can encounter, and the steadfast knowledge that they exist.
You may still be unconvinced, but at least your mind may have been opened up a bit. And you can also confirm that on your own journey you have met others you have immediately “clicked” with and are not sure why or how. It just happened, and your bond with them has been strong and undeniable. How you explain that is up to you.
For the sake of argument, let’s assume that soulmates are real. So, how do you know for real that someone is a soulmate?
Here’s what the experts say.
Signs That Someone is a Soul Mate
Use this as a checklist of sorts to decide is someone you encounter could be a soul mate.
There is an Instant Bond
What you feel is that you know this person already, though you have only just met. If you feel this, ask yourself why? The spiritualists say it is because your soul recognizes theirs, probably from previous incarnations.
Your Souls Recognize Each other
You have had at least one (and maybe more) previous lives together, so your souls know each other already. You are drawn to this person without any specific reason in this current earthly existence for being so. It’s not logical, but there it is.
Your Soulmate Love is Clear and Unconditional
The unconditional nature of this love is what distinguishes it from other types of earthly love that can turn out to be toxic. In those situations, people try to manipulate, control, or force their partners to change in negative ways.
The love of soulmates is fully accepting of each other exactly as they are. There is no attempt to change anything about each other. The two souls meet, establish a deep bond, understand each other, and relish their relationship just as it is. And this is what unconditional love is all about.
The Eyes are Riveted
When someone encounters a soulmate and their eyes meet, it’s all over. The phrase, “the eyes are windows to the soul” definitely applies here.
The eye contact will be intense. And even after that initial intensity, just eye contact with a glance from across a room will be just as intense. It’s a matter of both knowing their deep bond and the fact that they are totally in sync.
There is a Physical Magnetism
It is almost impossible for those in a soulmate connection to deny the deep physical attraction, and it will last forever, so long as the two are physically close by.
Remember, this magnetism is not necessarily about sex – that bond is for romantic soulmates, and it is just as real.
There can simply be a strong desire to be physically close, such as that between two soulmate friends who want to spend as much time together as possible.
The Bond is Empathic
Just what is an empath? It is someone who absorbs the feelings, emotions, and thoughts of others. They feel what others do.
This is also the bond that soulmates share. They “read” how each other feels and feel the same things. They can sense what the other is about to say and can even finish each other’s sentences.
There are empaths who are not bonded with soulmates; but soulmates are definitely empathic with each other.
Purposeful Growth
Two soulmates bond for purposes. These are to learn and grow. One may be a teacher in one circumstance and a student in another. And there should be takeaways after each of these sessions or encounters. This process will continue so long as the two soulmates are with one another, and it is ongoing. It’s important for each member of this soulmate bond to realize how much growth is happening and to rejoice in it.
They Act as Triggers for Each Other
Each incarnation should involve growth. And growth is not always pleasant. It forces us into territory that can be uncomfortable.
But soulmates need to trigger each other into that discomfort, so that their purposes are fulfilled.
Soulmates Provide Unquestioning Support
The soulmate connection means that there is acceptance of who and what each other is at any point in time. It explains why soulmates do not try to change each other as if often the case in toxic relationships. While they may feel that the other is not growing in accordance with their purpose, they will not intervene. Each soul is on its own path, and it must remain that way, despite what the soulmate relationship may be. But the soulmate relationship will remain supportive.
Timing is a Factor
It’s important to know that the universe is in control of the timing for soulmates to meet. It will ensure that soulmates meet when they need to, when there are lessons to be learned or support is needed. In short, we meet our soulmates when we are supposed to. On the earthly plane, this need translates as attraction. When you feel an immediate attraction to someone, take it as a sign that the timing is exactly right.
Wrapping it All Up
Yes, the verdict is still out. Spiritualists have no doubt. More secular-oriented people feel skeptical and often explain what others see and feel with plausible explanations (e.g. deja vu).
If you are open to the concept of soulmates, though, here are some key points:
- You’ll know you have found a soulmate when you feel an instant recognition and closeness to another.
- You are drawn to them without any logical reason for what you feel.
- When you come in contact with a soulmate, you are totally accepting of who they are just as they are, and, as the relationship progresses, you have not urge to change them in any way.
- When you encounter a soulmate, there will be instantaneous recognition of them, knowing them, and the need to form a relationship, whatever that might be – romance, friendship, business partners, mentor and mentee, etc.
- Soulmates may meet at any age. They may be lovers, friends, family members, colleagues, teachers, students, even pets.
- Soulmates may be in relationships for any manner of time – a few days, a few weeks, months, or even years or forever. It’s all related to purpose and lessons to be learned. Take any length of time of extreme bonding as a sign that what you feel is real.
The verdict is not in on the whole concept of soulmates. Spiritualists will say your soulmates are all around you, of many types, and in many earthly relationships. Skeptics say not so fast. What you feel is not a soulmate relationship.
So, what’s your verdict?
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