It is About What Turns You On
If you are simply drawn to intelligent people under any circumstance, you may be a sapiophile. That’s slightly different than a sapiosexual who has intimate feelings that arise from demonstrations of intelligence and the people who show them.
A sapiosexual may identify as any gender or orientation but that is secondary. Their primary attraction is to intelligence. Because of this many sapiosexuals are fluid. This means they will often choose partners based on intelligence more so than gender or other traits.
Physical Appearance is Not a Top Priority
Because they are focused on intelligence, physical appearance is a much lower consideration for the sapiosexual. Additionally, there are other relationship factors that are not as important to sapiosexuals. For example, having common goals and interests are less important than intellectual compatibility.
Sapiosexual Dating
You’re dating a sapiosexual. Now what? How do you keep them interested in you, and give them great dating experiences?
Plan Dates That Are Intellectually Stimulating
Some of the more traditional date activities aren’t all that interesting for sapiosexuals. Think intellectual stimulation, because that will lead to arousal.
Try a bookstore! If you can find one that has a lovely seating area where you can have a coffee and discussion over your newfound reading materials, that’s even better! Find a book that interests them and grab two copies. Then, you can discuss it as you both read. Also, don’t forget about the library! You might be surprised at the ambiance many libraries have, and some even have cafes for patrons.
Go to a museum, but do some homework first. A sapiosexual won’t want to walk through a museum and ‘admire’ the collections. They’ll want to discuss the exhibits in-depth. Do some research so that you can hold your own.
Movies are fine as long as you pick the right one. Try a documentary or an indie film that is intellectually challenging. Be sure to plan for some quiet time over dinner afterward to discuss and debate what you saw.
Disagree With Them!
Sapiosexuals enjoy debate and having their ideas challenged. This is a real turn-on for them, but only if you can hold your own in these discussions. Faking it until you make it just won’t fly.
Things to Consider When Dating a Sapiosexual
You will have to power up your own intellect o make dating progress with a sapiosexual. You’ll also need to rethink how you view the dating process entirely. Here are a few things to expect.
Your Relationship Will Progress Slowly
The path to a deeper relationship with a sapiosexual takes time. This is true whether your goal is a committed relationship or one that is purely nsa.
Solution: Get to Know Their Interests
Put down whatever you are reading about being better in bed and engage with your partner! Learn about their interests. Then, you can plan dates around the intellectual activities that most turn them on.
You May Feel Inadequate
If you date a sapiosexual, you may worry that you just aren’t smart enough. It’s challenging to be ‘on’ intellectually and keep up with the conversations they want to have.
Solution: Have Them Teach You!
There’s a way around this. Draw out the sapiosexual. Ask them their thoughts and opinions. Have them explain their views on different issues. They aren’t just turned on by your intellect. Most are excited on their own and are able to share that.
Conclusion: Sapiosexuality is an Authentic Identity
While many are straight sapiosexuals, there are just as many who fall within the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, as they can be quite fluid. The gender identities of their partners take second place to intellectual compatibility. There are obvious dating and relationship challenges, but they can be overcome if the circumstances are right.
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