Last Updated 13.06.2023
2 min read

Polyamorous Dating and Travel to Pride Events – Who Pays for What?

Alan Schin (he/him/his) is the Chief Editor at Taimi. He wears several hats daily as a writer, editor, blogger, and content contributor. He began his university studies as a Psychology student but found his passion in Advanced Communication Studies. Alan loves having the opportunity to write and help our content team shine. According to Alan, his education helps him to understand the dynamics behind dating and socialization better. When he isn’t busy with Taimi, Alan works on his first novel, a sci-fi thriller, and creates works of art in his ceramics studio.

Living as polyamorous can be in two situations – you are single, living alone, and dating; or you are in a polycule with 2, 3, or more others and married to one of the members (or not).

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    Now Pride is coming and you want to go, as a single person or with others. Obviously, there will be expenses, either for travel and lodging and/or dating while there. The question, in any case, will be who pays for what? There are lots of options, so let’s have a look.

    Going Single and Looking to Date and Hookup

    So, it goes without saying that you will be footing the bill for travel and lodging. Now, once you are there and hooking up with other polys, you’ll need to figure out how payments will be made for food and drink, for any party entry fees, etc. 

    The best way may be to agree in advance to go “Dutch,” dividing whatever tabs and expenses by the number of you in your group. If you pick up more along the way, they pick up their share. It’s best to settle this beforehand, so no one is caught off-guard.

    Going Single with Previous Plans to Meetup with Other Polys

    So, you’ve been on dating apps or in poly chat rooms, and you’ve made arrangements to hook up with a few others once you get to the Pride event. You may have even agreed to share lodging to save expenses. 

    Again, you need to decide on who will pay for what in advance, so no one is blind-sided. Maybe you all will pay for your own food, drink, and entry fees as individuals, sharing only the lodging bill. Of course, if you have agreed to pay for anyone’s expenses (perhaps they are short on funds), then you honor that agreement.

    Going as a Group with Your Polycule

    This can get a bit complicated, especially if you have been living communally already. Each of you may be sharing expenses but at different percentage rates based on your individual incomes. That’s pretty common.

    It’s time for a communal discussion on who will pay for what and at what percentages for the common expenses you expect to have – travel, lodging, maybe entry fees to events you plan to attend together (there are often group rates).

    At the same time, it will be important to lay out who will pay for added expenses if others are added to the dating and hookups group by one or more of you. Above all, it’s not cool to expect others to kick in for expenses for an additional person they did not bring in unless they offer. 

    And if you or others should go off to join another poly group while there, the financial obligations to your homies remain the same regardless. 

    Above All, Remember Why You are There

    You’re going to Pride to celebrate yourself and the entire LGBTQ+ community. Decisions about finances should be predetermined. If not, they will cause hard feelings, if not some anger, and cast a shadow on what should be a glorious occasion.

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