Bonus! Fun & Kinky V-Day Gift Ideas
Right now, at this very moment, people are working hard to plan the ideal Valentine’s Day for the person they love. Some people might admire their planning and organizational skills. Others might empathize with the stress they are under. But, not you.
You’re way too busy trying to figure out how you can celebrate V-day in a way that honors your love and connection to more than one person. Welcome to life in a polycule! Fortunately, you don’t need to feel overwhelmed. We’ve written this guide for the polyamorous folks who just want to ensure the people they cherish feel special on this day.
Acknowledge That it Isn’t Easy to be Poly on V-Day
Let’s be honest. Valentine’s Day was not made for the ethically non-monogamous. This is a holiday that was designed for couples in love and grade school children. It isn’t easy to make something that’s so heteronormative into something that’s going to work for you and your partners.
That’s okay. This is probably not the first time you’ve had to adapt things that weren’t made for you and yours. It certainly will not be the last!
Still, just acknowledging that things are not going to be easy can be immensely helpful. You’ll be better able to set your own expectations and permit yourself to make this holiday into something that honors you and the people you love.
Be Clear on Everyone’s Feelings About The Holiday
Before you get all twisted trying to figure out how you are going to give quality time, gifts, and romantic indulgences to all of your partners – do they even celebrate Valentine’s Day? Is it that important to them? Some of your partners in ethical non-monogamy may choose not to acknowledge Valentine’s Day because of its commercialism or focus on straight, monogamous couples. Others may prefer anything sweet and simple like a card. These tend to be the folks who will be very chill and flexible about when and where you celebrate with them.
Then, you may have your true romantics, lovers of V-day, people who look forward to a celebration of love, sex, romance, gifts, and other indulgences. The point is, the more you know, the easier time you will have figuring all of this out.
Get Realistic About Dynamics in Your Polycule
Every polycule looks and functions differently. In some, everybody knows and loves the others. They aren’t just able to do things together. They almost always want to. In other polycules, things are a bit more complicated.
You may find the idea of a single, beautiful celebration of love really appealing. Before you make those kinds of plans, ask yourself these questions:
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Have your partners all met one another?
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Are there any unresolved issues or conflicts?
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Is there a shared interest or activity to help bring people together?
You know how the people you love all feel about Valentine’s Day. Now, you need to be very honest with yourself about the complex relationships that are often part of being polyamorous.
Remember to Honor Your Feelings About V-Day
The beauty of being in a polycule is that you also feel honored and cherished by more than one person. This holiday isn’t just about running around and finding ways to celebrate others. You also deserve to be the recipient of Valentine’s Day love. And, if you have complicated feelings about this holiday, that’s okay too!
Angelika Koch, Taimi’s Relationship and Break-Up Expert says:
“It’s important to honor your own needs and boundaries when it comes to this day and always do self-check-ins to ensure you are honoring how you feel.”
Acknowledge your feelings, but be prepared to talk about them as well. Think about:
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Whether you genuinely care about this day or not
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What you might enjoy doing on V-Day?
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Special activities you imagine with each of your partners
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Things that would make you feel loved on this holiday
Any conversations you have with your polycule should include your own needs and preferences. Otherwise, you may reach the end of Valentine’s Day feeling put out and resentful.
Talking to Your Partners About Valentine’s Day
The only way to have the best possible non-monogamous Valentine’s Day is through good communication. Then again, that’s good practice for polyamory in general. Remember that these are people you trust with your emotions and intimacy. You’ve probably had harder conversations with them than this. Despite that, you may feel like you are walking into a minefield. People invest a lot of emotion in holidays.
The best approach here is to be honest and direct. Ask the people you care about how they feel about the holiday, and what kind of celebration would be meaningful to them. Then, share your own thoughts about what would make this day special for you, or if it’s just something you’d prefer to ignore. Get everything out on the table and you may be surprised at how quickly things get figured out.
“There are ways to navigate through this in the healthiest way possible and allow each of your partners to feel included and adored.” – Angelika Koch
Navigating Valentine’s Conflicts And Priority Issues
What happens if there are conflicts? It sucks to realize that you can’t make everybody happy. Take a deep breath. Remember that all of you are adults and that holiday conflicts aren’t unique to polycules. As much as you love everybody in your little love cluster, you can’t move space or time. It’s okay to do your best and let people navigate their feelings about it
Sexy And Kinky Polyamory Valentine’s Day Gift Ideas
So, you’ve got your Valentine’s Day plans down. That’s great! Now, what are you going to give as gifts? Here are some suggestions.
55 Gallon Barrel of Lube
It’s the gift that keeps on giving and giving and giving. Have you ever started to have fun in the bedroom only to realize that at the most crucial moment, you are completely out of your favorite lubricant? With this gift not only will you have enough lube for yourself, but you’ll have enough for everyone in your poly romantic group.
Okay, this may be a bit much. Thankfully, other sizes are available as well! Still, consider upgrading your current lube to something a bit fancier for polyamorous Valentine’s Day!
Massage Candle
All great sex starts with some good foreplay and one of the best ways to initiate foreplay is to give your partner a good massage. Whether it be for ambiance, or with a scent that really enhances the mood for intimacy. Any of your partners will love it when you massage one another while burning this candle in a dimly lit room.
Sensual Date Night in a Box
Whether you want to go on a date one-on-one or on a date as an entire group, a date in a box is a great way for anyone in a monogamous or polyamorous relationship. This box comes with lots of fun and kinky items including roleplay costumes, lubricant, fuzzy handcuffs, and so much more.
Matching Underwear
When it comes to sexy gift-giving, nothing says sexy like underwear, especially when it doesn’t get to be worn for very long. But there’s something about matching each other that makes things feel a bit more intimate. Not only are these undies extremely comfortable but when you and your partners go head to the bedroom for a bit of fun you might be in for a good laugh when you all realize that you’re all wearing the same thing underneath.
Adore Me Lingerie
Adore Me is a relatively new brand of lingerie that sells beautifully made, sensual pieces of clothing that come in a variety of sizes ranging from XS to 4X in size. With these as a present, you and your partners in your poly-romantic group can give gifts one-on-one or share the love with everybody.
Kinky Truth or Dare Game
If you or anyone else in your polyromantic group like to experiment then you will love this sexy truth or dare game. This game comes with a variety of prompts for sexual acts, as well as a load of sexy, blush-inducing questions that are sure to reveal a lot about you and your other partners.
Bondage Tape
Do any of your partners like to be tied up? Or maybe they like tying you up instead? This bondage tape is a more gentle alternative to ropes, but it still gives that oh-so-satisfying sensation when it is used to tie your favorite people to the bed for a night of fun. Just make sure to always listen to the safe word.
A Book of Sex Vouchers
It’s the gift that keeps on giving, and with how inexpensive it is you can give an entire book to each person in your poly-romantic group. These sensual IOU’s include a multitude of sexy prompts that can be exchanged for favors including things like sexy massages, lap dances, strip teases, and so much more. The only question you can really ask is, how long will they last?
A Box of Ribbed Condoms
Condoms are great, they keep you safe during sex, help prevent unwanted pregnancy, and prevent the spread of STDs. But a box of ribbed condoms is even better. The texture will help to increase the friction you and your partners feel during sex, which of course will make for a more mind-blowing night of sexy fun for all of you.
A Whole Month of Sex
Have you or any of your partners in your polycule ever wanted to spend an entire month having sex sex and more sex with each other? Then this is the perfect gift for all of you. Whether you share it with everyone, or you choose to give each person their own, this super special advent calendar features a ton of different sexual prompts, each one more rique than the last. All you have to do is open it up and let the fun begin.
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