One of the things that is not talked about a lot is healthy relationships as more people are focusing on pinpointing the red flags they might come across. While it is true that bad relationships are more frequent than healthy ones, it is just as important to be able to notice the green flags in a relationship when things are going well.
If you have been in a few bad relationships though, you might find it difficult to understand when a new relationship has more green flags than not. In order to help you out with that, here are some important green flags in a relationship you should not miss.
One of the most important things a partner can do that is definitely a green flag is to be emotionally mature. This can mean a lot of things in the relationship and it can be important in the personal growth of both partners.
If the person you are with tells you openly how they feel about you, what you mean to them, and how they feel being around you, then you know they are being open and honest with their feelings. They have nothing to hide from you and want to make you feel loved and safe in the relationship.
A person that doesn't play any games or makes you question their feelings towards you is definitely a partner that is showing green flags and a great sign they are seeing you seriously.
“...in a healthy relationship, both people can be strong.” - Kim Walker-Smith
Each person has a different personality and deals with different situations in a completely different way. When someone truly cares about you, they will act toward you with kindness when you are struggling and not try to create conflict and make you feel guilty over your emotions.
If a partner is gaslighting you, trying to start conflict, and is making you feel like your emotions are not valid, they are probably not a good person and someone you don't want to be around. A green flag you should look for is a partner who shows respect towards how you feel and doesn't see your true emotions as a bad thing.
Everyone faces difficult times in their life and a loving partner will be there to validate how you feel and not guilt-trip you over feeling upset. If they take the time to listen to your side of things, talk about it and allow you to process your emotions in a safe way that makes you feel good, they are definitely interested in your happiness and care about you deeply.
This is also something that will show you whether you will be able to form a true emotional connection with this partner or not. If they are able to help guide you through your emotions and validate what you feel, it means they are also able to do this for themselves. Therefore, this will help both of you grow and form an emotional connection that will bond you even more.
Another major green flag you can notice is when your partner wants to spend as much time with you as possible. While spending time with the other person is normal at the beginning of every relationship, you want to notice if they prioritize spending time with you over other things.
For example, you know they care about you when they make it their priority to be there for you in important events of your life. They might put a lot of effort into planning a special birthday surprise for you or they might change their plans to make it to your graduation or a family event and spend time with you on this special day.
Even if they just clear their schedule so they are able to spend a night with you, doing nothing special but watching shows and eating pizza, this is another good sign they are invested in the relationship and love paying attention and spending time with you.
Sometimes, it's the smaller actions that matter the most and when you see that someone truly wants to give you all their time and attention, you definitely have a good thing going.
Most people in relationships want to be with someone who shares common interests so they are able to have things to do together. At the same time though, you can't possibly have everything in common with your partner. Your different interests are what make you special and you don't have to only like similar things in order to be together.
On the contrary, you want to have different interests and likes, as these will make the bond between you more interesting. This is when you will be able to see if the other person is truly interested in you. If they show as much interest in your individual hobbies as they do in the ones you have in common, this is a very good sign.
Relationship expert Dr. Laura Berman mentioned in a Popsugar interview that "Real love is demonstrated by small acts of appreciation". One of these is showing real interest in what your partner loves and involving yourself in it, even if you just watch them while they play their favorite game or listen to them talk about their favorite sport.
When each partner has their own interests, there are so many opportunities for both parties to learn new things and do new things together. Explore your differences and see how they can become fun activities. If your partner takes the time to become involved in the things you love doing, even if they wouldn't care about them otherwise, you are definitely in a good relationship.
If you have gotten to know their friends and family and they have openly introduced you to them, this is a great sign that your partner is proud of being with you and is not afraid to show it. Most people hold their friends and family more private in the early stages of dating until they feel secure, as these people mean a lot to them.
This is especially important if their family seems to like you and always wants to invite you around. They have probably spoken good things about you to them and this is an important green flag to notice! Little things like this can make all the difference between two partners and they show their relationships are stable and in it for the long haul.
When your partner encourages you to meet their family and become friends with their friends, this is a major green flag that they want to be with you for the long haul. They wouldn't involve you in their own life so much if they didn't see this seriously and this is a green flag in dating.
Another big green flag that the relationship is healthy and strong is seeing your partner introducing you to everyone as their significant other. They never refer to you as a friend or leave any questions hanging. They know what you mean to them and they are not shy about telling the world you are theirs.
This can bring so much relief to a partner, especially one who has been in adverse situations where an ex-partner would hide the relationship when the two of you were among common friends. This is definitely a bad sign and shows a lack of respect in the relationship.
When you are involved with someone, you want them to be confident about the fact that they are in a relationship with you. You don't want them to hide that you are together from anyone and it is especially hurtful when you see them trying to do so.
This can cause a lot of worry between the partners and it can lead to arguments, especially if the one person can't make up their mind about the status of the relationship. Therefore, when your partner is not afraid to show people you are dating, it is definitely a green flag.
While sex is not the most important thing in relationships, being compatible in this aspect with your partner is very important. There are a few different ways to understand whether this is a green flag in your own relationships or not, and the main one is whether they respect your boundaries.
If they are okay with taking things slow or giving you space to explore what you like and dislike without pushing you to do things you don't want, these are all signs they have respect for you and really love you. If your partner pushes you to do things you are not comfortable with, they are definitely not giving the right signals.
If you struggle with anything regarding your sex life and they have the ability to understand and make sure they help you feel satisfied and safe, they are a good romantic partner and actually care.
Apart from that, you should check how involved they want to be when it comes to making sure you are satisfied with the experience as well. Not everyone has the ability to feel comfortable with a new partner they started dating and intimacy doesn't appear overnight. If they are not selfish about your sex life, then you found a good one.
Being able to express your feelings honestly is a big deal in any relationship. This is why patience is such a positive green flag when you’re with someone. When your partner takes the time to listen to you and pay attention to the small things and quirks you express on a daily basis, that means that they truly love you.
This level of intimacy is something that many couples struggle to achieve, as we are individualistic by nature. As partners, you’re supposed to listen to one another, give each other space, and communicate both verbally and physically when something’s troubling you or something’s making you happy. Look for signs that speak to your partner’s patient personality – this is crucial if you want to have a long-lasting relationship with someone.
Being able to be yourself and knowing that your partner is patient and caring will make you feel good. This is one of the relationship green flags that you should look for as you build the relationship of your dreams with someone you care about.
The opposite is also true, as every relationship is a two-way street. If you’re in it for the long haul, be patient with your partner. They might fold underwear differently than you do, or they might not salt their food as much as you’d prefer – that’s okay. When each partner respects the needs, boundaries, and intricacies of the other, you’ll be in for one treat of a romantic relationship!
“A healthy relationship is a feast of affection/giving for both people; not one receiving crumbs and trying to convince themselves it’s enough.” — Shannon Thomas
Can you imagine your life with your partner 10 or 20 years down the line? If you can, this is a good sign that you’re with the right person. Now, does your partner express the same thoughts and plans for the future? A great sign of the fact that someone cares about you is if they talk about the two of you years down the line. Little things like planning what kind of a house to buy or which car to get later on are signs of the fact that your partner is a good person worth fighting for.
Dating is hard, no matter how much you click with someone. Every conversation will lead you a step closer to a common future where you are “happily ever after” with your significant other. But, be mindful that you set boundaries for them in some ways, as you will also have ideas about what your years together should look like.
Talk about your point of view on what’s to come, what your interests are, and how you perceive your relationship. Let your partner know that you care and that you can imagine a life with them somewhere down the line.
Every relationship expert out there will tell you that communication works wonders – talk about what’s to come and what you’ve already been through together. This is one of those green flags to look for when you’re madly in love but also able to see past that and really see your partner for who they are and simply appreciate them, not wanting to change anything about them. You just love them and want to be with them for years on end.
Sometimes, you might lose track of the positive things and not see when there is a true emotional connection with someone, especially when lots of bad past experiences are making your vision cloudy.
Even if you have been through many relationships which were not worth it in the past, do not lose hope. You will find the person that will treat you the way you deserve and allow you to feel safe and loved. These tips will help you make sure that you will understand their love and see all the green flags on time.
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