How To Stop Being Horny - Finding The Balance

Last Updated 29.04.2022
9 min read
Taimi

Feeling horny? Join the club. Anyone with a normal sex drive gets horny, especially if they have not had sex for a bit. 

Post main image

Of course, this is all individual - different people have different sexual energy levels, depending upon their unique libidos and other factors in their lives - stress levels, mood, how busy they may be with other focus demands, how tired they may be, etc. 

But generally speaking, sexually healthy people do get horny and need to relieve sexual tension by having some type of sex and achieving orgasm.

Are You Oversexed?

What does this term even mean? The short answer is that the term refers to a person who has sexual desire and accompanying sexual arousal to such a degree that it often interferes with other aspects of their life.

Let's say you are in the middle of a meeting at work. Sexual thoughts creep in. These are unwanted thoughts at the moment, but you can't help it. Those thoughts lead to sexual arousal with a hard-on or wetting your undies. If this happens once in a while, maybe after remembering an amazing tryst of a couple of days ago, then you are probably not oversexed. But if it is happening frequently when your focus should be on other matters, you may need to admit that your sexual desires are getting in the way of a normally balanced life.

Causes of Too Much Horniness

There are many different reasons why your sexual desire seems to be off the charts. Some are temporary; some are more permanent:

  • Over-supply of hormones = overactive libido

  • A long dry spell in your sex life

  • Sex that is unfulfilling

  • Sex that is so fulfilling you can't stop thinking about it

  • Certain times of the day or month

  • Lack of any physical activity

  • Certain mental health issues

All of these causes can be worked on. but the issue at hand is how to stop being horny at bad times right now, as well as for the long haul.

Let's unpack some methods you can use.

How To Stop Being Horny - Some Tips

Masturbation

This is probably the most common method of getting relief from a strong sexual urge. Whether you use your hands or sex toys, this will provide immediate physical pleasure and relief and let you get on with your other business at hand. The problem with masturbation is this: if you continue to use this method frequently, it can lead to increased sexual desire, and you can actually feel horny more often.

Taking a Cold Shower

This has been a highly touted method for years. And, yes, it does work as a temporary fix to a strong sexual drive at the moment, because it temporarily lowers sex hormones and does increase the flow of endorphins, those feel-good hormones that can be a substitute for sexual desire. Here's a little-known fact. A very old remedy for female horniness was to put the woman in a cold bath and add cold heads of lettuce to make the water even colder.

But here's the thing: How often are you in a place where you can actually take a cold shower? At work? At a club or restaurant? At school? Maybe at the gym, at home, or those cold showers available at the beach to get rid of the sand. And if you are at home? You can easily masturbate while in a nice warm shower or bath and get the same relief from your desires.

Exercise

Here is one healthy remedy for excessive horniness. Join a gym and get on a regular fitness program, several days a week. Or become a runner. One of the great benefits of physical fitness activities is that they release those endorphins. You can get into that same "feel-good" state that you do after sex. Plus, you may just be too tired to think about being horny or needing sex.

Alcohol

This may not be the most advisable method of reducing your sexual energy, and it is totally temporary and pretty unhealthy. Alcohol is a depressant, as you already know. Drink enough and you will lose your libido. But if you only have a drink or two, you need to understand that you will still be horny, especially if a sexually attractive person is there. And making sexual moves under the influence can be sloppy and a real turn-off.

Refocus Your Thoughts

With practice, this can be an effective method for how to stop being horny. When sexual thoughts creep in, learn to divert your brain to other thoughts that will cancel them out. This will require some self-control and practice, but it can eventually become a habit that will serve you well.

Conjure up images of your parents or being at a family dinner; think about activities that are totally non-sexual activites of yours. Start talking about something that has no sexual overtones, maybe your pets or a recent fishing trip. If you are in a one-on-one situation with someone you find attractive, start asking questions about their jobs, their interests, or their life goals - any kind of talk other than their body or how nice they look.

Curb Your Porn Viewing

The web is full of porn sites, and watching others have sex can be a huge turn-on. This is a great activity if you are by yourself and ready for masturbating or with a sexual partner who is as ready for sex as you are - nothing wrong here and nothing to be ashamed about. The sexual urges you feel from viewing porn are not a bad thing at all.

But here's the thing. That porn site you visited has placed some really steamy scenes in your memory and here you are at work, school, or meeting up with casual friends the next day, and all of a sudden, there is a lull, and you are reliving what you saw last night. You are hard or wet all over again. If this happens to you often, then you should limit your exposure and spend less time on that or any other porn site. Aristotle once said, "all things in moderation," and he was right."

The same thing goes for social media. Whether you are a straight male or a non-binary woman, you can reduce the viewings of sexy females that can be turn-ons.

🔥Hottest Blondes of Instagram (@hottest.blondes.of.insta) • Instagram photos and videos

Try Sexual Transmutation

This activity is related to training your brain to move to other thoughts when those of sexuality pop up. But it's a bit different in that it involves transferring built-up sexual desire and energy into something else. And the best options for transferring that energy? A project at work or some creative personal project you might have going on - painting, gourmet cooking, remodeling your living space, etc.

Here's how this works. If you are someone who is horny all the time, practice abstinence for as long as you can. Obviously, this takes a lot of control. Once you feel that sexual tension really building up, throw yourself into a project or planned activity that has nothing to do with sex.

If you don't have a special project for your transmutation, then do something physical or intellectual that has nothing to do with your sexuality - visit a museum, go hiking or climbing, or take a one-day online painting or cooking class. Just get your mind and your body away from anything even remotely related to sexual feelings.

Most people who practice transmutation also use meditation techniques in combination with this method. So, let's talk about how meditation can help.

Meditation

Hormones and physical sexuality do not comprise the only source for an overactive libido. Feelings of horniness are as much a matter of what's between your ears as it is between your legs. Think about when you are masturbating, for example. What is going on in your head? Both guys and women will say that they are often conjuring up sexual images or scenarios in their minds or focusing their brain activity on some screen porn.

Meditation is also a function of what goes on in your mind, and it can impact what goes on inside the body. If you have never practiced meditation to relieve stress, anxiety, or other negative feelings, then you are missing out on an effective and very normal way to clear your head and get to peace.

The simplest form of meditation is just breathing and relaxing your neck and shoulders. You can focus on all of your sexual desires as you breathe in, but then, as you breathe out, focus on all of those thoughts leaving your mind. Again, this activity takes practice, but if you stick with it, you'll eventually be successful. A lot of women and guys also add Yoga to this method - just getting into physical positions as you practice your breathing. If you really want to get into this natural and high-quality method for relieving some of your horniness, you could enroll in a Yoga class - there are bunches of them online, so you don't even have to leave your home.

As you are able to use meditation, you will notice that, whenever horny thoughts pop up, especially when you are supposed to be focused on other things, you will be able to relax, breathe, and remove those thoughts all the time. And if you are in a relationship with a partner who may not share your tendency to be so horny, you can use your meditative methods to reduce your horniness and improve that relationship.

In a recent survey of men on the ways they use to reduce their horniness, one participant, Dame, aged 29, had this to say about meditation: "When I'm horny and there's a build-up of a lot of sexual energy, I combine meditative breaths with a visual practice to disperse this energy throughout my body, following the flow of my chakra. By the time I’ve finished this process, my sexual energy becomes [regular] energy and I feel less horny.”

Think About Diet

For centuries, there are certain foods that have been considered to be aphrodisiacs - those that will increase horniness. There is also a list of food types that purport to reduce horniness. This method is not a quick fix. It should be considered a longer-term remedy that may work over a period of time. Here are foods that you might want to try:

  • Carbonated drinks with lots of sugar can dehydrate and make you feel less normal

  • Canned goods with lots of salt and potassium

  • Cheeses and soy products mess with your hormone balance

  • Caffeine and alcohol in combinations create energy imbalances and can cause a lack of a desire for sex.

When Other Ways Fail...

If you have tried many possible methods of getting your horniness under control without success, it may be time to seek out the services offered by sex therapy. There are a huge number of therapists available both locally and online who deal with issues of being "over-sexed." Earlier in this article, the possible causes for an unusually high libido were listed. One of them was psychological issues that you may not even be aware of. Getting professional help can bring these issues to the surface so that they can be dealt with. Talking about them as they are uncovered and developing plans of action to overcome them can have positive results.

Give Yourself a Break

Here's the thing. Sexual urge is an individual thing. And being horny is natural for both a man and a woman, depending on their unique libidos. Your drive may be at the high end of what others consider normal. That does not make it wrong or unhealthy. You need to stop perceiving yourself as abnormal because your drive is significantly higher than "normal."

Accepting that your sexual drive is too high is a matter of individual decision. Any man or woman who finds that their sexual desire is interfering with the other aspects of their lives is probably oversexed, and they should take steps to get a better balance. The methods listed above are based on what has worked for others. Try them for yourself. You may find one or a combination that will work for you.


Taimi is free to download. Taimi Premium subscription provides access to features unavailable or limited in the free version of the app.

Follow the latest Taimi news on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.

Share this post:
Get Taimi App for Free