Life happens. And all relationships, traditional hetero or LGBTQ, lose their newness and heavy romantic feelings. Couples get caught up in their day-to-day lives, routines set in, and they “forget” to work on keeping their relationship new and exciting. If this sounds like you, take heart. Here are some ways in which you can get that early pizzazz working again.
Even if you have a regular time that you call or text during the day, do it at an unusual time, even from another room in your home. Say something like, “I am falling in love with you all over again,” or “Just want you to know you are the hottest thing in my life.” Chances are your partner may begin to reciprocate. It may not be a call or text – maybe a note left someplace where you will find it or your favorite candy bar on the kitchen counter. These little things add up to all of those warm and fuzzy feelings you used to have every day.
How about doing something a bit different here? Everyone gets flowers, candy, or food as gifts, ordered from those retailers, on special occasions. Be patient. Watch for your partner to see something in a store or online that they would like to have. It might be a book, a clothing item, or a specific beer mug – nothing all that expensive. For no reason at all, buy it and have it delivered to work or home. The element of surprise is always good.
If your partner is ready to leave or has just returned, even if you are busy and engaged in something, stop, get up, go over, put your arms around them and plant a long romantic kiss. This needs to become a habit.
The other thing that needs to be a habit? Telling your partner you love them at least once a day.
Dancing can be one of the most erotic activities on the planet. If you go to a club and a slow dance comes on, pull your partner onto the dance floor, put your bodies together, and move in sync. And at home? Put on your favorite slow song and dance right in the living room.
Restoring intimacy doesn’t have to be all serious. When a favorite song comes on, stand up, get something for a fake microphone, and lip-sync that song to your partner. Get a bit dramatic as you do it too.
This should be done every night. If it’s cold, add more blankets. Sleeping with bodies touching, even in small ways, is an intimate act like no other. Sex doesn’t even have to be involved (although nothing wrong with that as a result), but the idea is to be physically close, touch, caress, or just cuddle.
Sex can become mundane with the same moves all the time. Don’t get into a rut. Do some research or get a book that gives you lots of ideas for foreplay. For example, get some scented shaving cream and shave one another’s pubic areas. It’s a great turn-on.
Go back to places you went early in your relationship. Re-create your moves and your conversations as best you can remember. And, if possible, wear the same clothes you did when you first met or when you went to some of those places before. Doing this can have the effect of stirring up all of those feelings you had when your love was new.
This is a matter of personal choice. Does your partner love to be pampered? Then, plan a date night at a great restaurant, followed by a night in a hotel with a hot tub in the room. If your partner likes more casual or rustic, rent an RV for an overnight, and find the perfect spot to park, build a fire, and roast hot dogs and marshmallows with your favorite wine.
It’s important to have “down-time” together. Rather than just watch TV or read your books, pull up those pictures on your phones of the two of you together. Talk about those times and how much fun they were. Those memories can rekindle those early feelings too.
Not in the literal sense, of course. But how about leaving some loving messages on the bathroom mirror in lipstick or shaving cream? Not every day, of course, but randomly when least expected, even after a disagreement.
This time for showering together. Get all soapy and wash each other’s bodies, even down to the feet and toes. (yes, toes are erotic). When finished, dry each other off and rub lotion or oil all over your bodies. Let things progress as they should from there.
Write a love letter to your partner. It should include all of the wonderful qualities that made you fall in love with them. And to make it even better, put that love letter in a card and send it by snail mail.
Make a heart on your partner’s body, using whipping cream, chocolate syrup, or honey, and then lick it off. The chest or lower stomach area works well, or make a smaller one on the upper thigh area – it’s all good.
Undressing each other can be an erotic “turn-on” if done right. As you take off each piece, kiss and caress that body part, even the shoes and socks. If you want to make it fun, play strip poker instead. As your partner loses a hand and takes off an article, kiss and caress that exposed skin.
So, here’s half a month’s worth of ideas for rekindling your romance. And many of them can be repeated randomly when least expected – that’s part of the anticipation that each of you will experience, not knowing what might come next and when. And the best side effect of all? They can become just as routine as all of the other activities in your daily lives. Keeping the romance takes thought and commitment. Get creative!
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