Before online dating, you had to know how to make engaging conversations. You would approach someone at a bar or party, and chat them up. People who could make a conversation exciting would be most likely to land a date. If you couldn't, you would be labeled a dull person.
Now things are a bit different. You still have to be a great conversationalist, but it's much less about face-to-face communication. Now, people are more likely to talk via text messages before they agree on a first date. This is especially the case when they connect via dating apps.
Instead of worrying about how they come off in real conversation, people now worry about being a dry texter. Good news! We can help you to learn how to not be a dry texter.
To many people, a dry texter is a boring texter. They give flat, short answers. They don't respond well to jokes or funny gifs. Frankly, they just sound boring. Imagine talking to somebody in person, and every response was:
Wouldn't that be overwhelmingly boring? Now, imagine that conversation again, only this time it isn't in real life. You are texting, so you don't see any facial expressions or hear the other person's tone of voice. It's pretty clear why it's important to learn how to not be a dry texter.
Why would somebody want to be a dry texter? What makes them interact with others in a way that is so boring and off-putting? There are a few reasons for this.
Let's be honest. Some of us are a bit less socially aware than others. Some people are neurodivergent. To them, they are simply having a conversation by answering your questions and responding to your comments in the best way they know-how. It doesn't occur to them that their one-word responses are causing upset or why.
Would you describe yourself as a multitasker with the attention span of a chipmunk on speed? You aren't alone. Unfortunately, this can lead some people to respond to text messages with one-word answers that aren't always relevant.
It would be nice if people who didn't want to text would just say so. Unfortunately, too many of them don't do that. Instead, they string people along by never giving any clear feedback other than the fact that they are a dry texter. If you do this, your problem isn't that you need to learn how to not be a dry texter. It's that you need to learn how to communicate.
Here's another jerk move. Some people use one-word replies to kill your confidence. They want you to worry that you are boring them so that you will bend over backward to make them happy. Don't fall for it!
You really should learn how not to be a dry texter. It can help you become a more engaging person and add more excitement to your online conversations. Let's go over why you don't want to be a boring texter.
Chances are, you want to learn how not to be a dry texter because it impacts your dating life. There's a reason for that! If your online conversation skills are lacking, other people will simply assume you just aren't that interesting.
Conversations have to go both ways. When your side of things is dull and dry, then the person you are messaging will start to shut down as well. Then, all you are left with is two people who are responding in the same way - boring!
Here's another great reason to learn how to not be a dry texter. Have you ever received a text from someone, and wondered if they were mad at you? Perhaps it was a one-word answer, or even the ever-ambiguous thumbs up. The same message would have been different with just an emoji or a bit of context. This is the problem with dry texting. Everything has kind of a flat affect. It's easy to worry that somebody is mad, or that you are bothering them with your attempts at conversation.
Whether you are one or aren't sure, most people want to be known as a fun texter, not a boring one. So, here are some tips on how to not be a dry texter. Stop texting until you read these ideas about having better conversations online.
With dry texting, it isn't just what you text or how you text. It's also when you text. If you leave people to read or wait hours or days before responding, you come off as uncaring and aloof. That's not a good look when you are communicating with a potential colleague or love interest.
While you want to reply as quickly as possible, being distracted is also a bad thing. As your mind is somewhere other than the current conversation your replies can tend to be dry or boring, or you may not understand some of the stuff the other person is telling you. Whether the distraction is cleaning a room or finishing a work assignment, make sure that it's done before you continue the conversation.
Sometimes it's hard to end a conversation, even if we know that it's dying. So we ultimately start giving the other person one-worded replies. "Yeah." "OK." "IDK." One-worded replies are one of the worst things to happen in a texting conversation. They make you sound bored and uninterested in what the other person has to say. Instead, take a moment to tell them that you are going to be busy for a while and that you can talk again later. Remember that while it may feel like it, ending a conversation early isn't rude.
Know the purpose of your conversation. Every single conversation has a purpose. Whether it's to get your friends to come over and potentially spend time with you, or you have the intent to make someone your significant other. Knowing the exact purpose of your conversation is key, as it will allow you to ask the right questions and how to proceed with the conversation
They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, if that's true then a moving picture should be worth at least 10,000. No matter your age, career, or whatever else that divides us there are gifs for everybody and for every single reaction. If you can't think of a good way to reply in words try looking through the gifs and emojis, you may find something perfect.
Whether you decide to use emojis, gifs, or both another way to add spice to the conversation is to use memes. Just like gifs, there are memes for everybody and for pretty much every single reaction there is to be. Perhaps your crush sent you something that put your stomach in knots? Or maybe you want to describe your life to them in one picture? Memes are there to make conversations fun and more enjoyable.
Make the conversation interesting by asking the other person questions. You can start off with simple ones such as, "How are you feeling?" or "What did you do today?". Then you can use answers from those questions to ask them other questions. Maybe they mention that they are really struggling with their school work. That could be a cue to ask, "What are you studying?". Or maybe they mention that they have a favorite show they are currently watching. That could be your cue to ask them about their favorite character. By asking questions you keep the conversation fun and interesting, as well as get to know the other person better.
Having a sense of humor during a conversation is one of the best ways to keep the other person engaged and interested. Tell jokes, tell them funny stories, and don't be afraid to send those memes or funny videos.
Flirty comments and reactions may seem awkward at first, but flirting can make a conversation so interesting. Tell the other that they're cute, and watch what happens.
It's always a good idea to try and pay attention to even the smaller details in the conversation. After all, you tend to feel better when people remember the smaller things about you, right? The same goes for other people you talk to.
Take the time to remember things such as names, places, and events. They will give you and the person you're talking to something to talk about in the future. If they mention giving their grandmother a gift for her birthday that gives you an opportunity in the future to ask them questions about that event in the future.
We all know somebody who says that texting is boring and that they have no idea how anyone can spend hours just tapping away at their phone. It's likely that they only use texting as a means to send quick and short messages that go straight to the point. Those types of messages, while effective to a point, don't feel like a real conversation.
Make an effort to actually have a conversation with the other. Ask questions, make comments, talk about things. It's ok if you aren't confident in your writing or texting skills, practice makes perfect after all.
A very common issue for many people, even those who aren't dry texters, is waiting for the other person to text them first.
Don't do that!
It's ok to be nervous or shy, and it's also ok to wait a day before initiating the conversation. But don't be afraid to send the first text. For all, you know the other person could be feeling exactly the same way and is also waiting for you to text first. It's better to avoid the awkwardness and simply text them first.
Talking to others can sometimes be pretty scary. You may wonder, "What if they think I'm boring?" or "What if they ghost me?".
While those thoughts go through your head it's a good thing to remember that every communication you make is an investment.
While you are texting them don't be afraid to really enjoy the conversation. Ask questions, laugh at their jokes, and do whatever else you need to do in order to enjoy yourself.
Being respectful is one of the most important things when it comes to communicating with others.
Go ahead and joke around or tell them a funny story but always remember to be respectful to them as well. Just like you, they have a life away from that phone.
Don't become irritated if they happen to forget something you told them. Don't resend the same gif over and over if they don't reply as quickly as you would have liked them to. By doing those things you risk driving them off. Remember they will get back to you soon.
Communication is quite possibly the most common form of give and take, so don't be afraid to share information about yourself. If the person opens up a topic don't be afraid to give your thoughts on it.
By sharing your experiences with one another you form a bond and get to know each other better.
Perhaps you can't decide on what to have for dinner, or maybe you need to make an art piece that features a cartoon character? Why not grab the phone and text them?
Asking for someone's opinion is an excellent way to start a new conversation, as well as to bond with the other person. They will also feel special as they will feel that you value their opinion.
"Hey, how are you?"
"What are you doing today?"
While there is nothing wrong with these questions they do have one common issue. They sound boring and robotic, especially once you both have really gotten to know one another.
Don't be afraid to start a conversation with something like "You won't believe what just happened!" or a joke, or even by just sending them a video clip that you thought was funny.
Once you know more about them you can start to send much more interesting and fun messages.
Them: Hey I just got a dog!
You: I don't like them.
By replying like this you essentially kill the conversation and deny the other person a chance to ask questions. Instead try something like this.
Them: Hey I just got a dog!
You: That's cool, I was never much of a dog person.
Them: Why are you not a dog person?
You: I think they're cool, but I always preferred birds to dogs and cats.
Them: Why do you prefer birds?
You: I always thought they were interesting. I used to have a budgie when I was a kid.
We could keep this example going forever! By changing the way you word a simple statement you can stem a whole line of questions from the person you're texting.
Imagine that you send someone a message along the lines of "OMG!! Did you see the newest episode of that comedy show? LOL! So funny!" and they only reply with a laughing emoji or a LOL themselves.
The message you sent is full of excitement and energy, while the reply seems to be boring. A preferred reply would be something along the lines of, "No, OMG what did I miss? Please tell me it's on demand!" or "Yes! OMG did you see what that character did?"
By using proper punctuation and complete sentences the conversation is made much more interesting.
By making sure you enjoy the conversation you ensure that you can keep things interesting with the person you're talking to.
Remember that when texting anyone it can feel like a real chore to reply if you aren't enjoying the conversation with the other person. Text them because you feel like it or that they make you happy.
When you enjoy talking to someone topics and jokes just come out naturally.
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