This can make it especially difficult to overcome this person and sometimes it can even be worse than dealing with a break-up. If you have found yourself in this situation, here are some ways to help you deal with your own emotions and get over that someone you never dated.
Why is it Difficult to Get Over Someone You Never Dated?
There are many reasons why you might find it so hard to get over someone you never dated. First and foremost, you might have been into them for a really long time, loved their personality and appearance, only to find out they would probably never be romantically interested in you.
Another possibility is that they kept giving you mixed signals without realizing it, and ended up leading you on without them being interested. Regardless of the situation, it can make you fall and stay in love, even though you know they might never return your feelings.
While you might want to try and make the first step, you might also know deep down that you are holding hope for something that won't happen. The reality of this can be very difficult to overcome and letting go of your feelings for someone you cared about can be very hard, even if you were never romantically involved.
Are You in Love With The Person or What You Imagined Them to Be?
Along with the previous points, it is important that you think through the reason why you are attracted to this person in the first place, despite the unrequited feelings. This might be especially hard but you really need to be honest with yourself, as with everything else in your own life.
Did you fall in love with the person or did you create an imaginary personality based on the few things you know about them? If the person was someone you didn't know too well, you might have created certain scenarios in your head that made them all that more likable to you.
Maybe you even fell for them because they seemed so unavailable and different. Being around them might have boosted your self-esteem and made you feel like a relationship with them would be amazing.
This is oftentimes not the person they truly are though and you might have greatly romanticized them in your head. Unless you know that person well, the things you have imagined them to be are probably not real.
A person usually acts a lot differently as a friend and as a partner in a romantic relationship. We tend to see the good in people and don't easily understand that being in a relationship changes people drastically, especially when it comes to long-term relationships.
While this is something most people do, you need to come to terms with reality and realize that this is a part of moving forward. You are still allowed to grieve your feelings for this person and eventually, you will be able to find someone who has all the qualities you dream of.
Ways to Overcome This Heartbreak
After you have figured out a few reasons why you fell for this person, it is time to see how you can start getting over them. This might not be an actual break up but you will still feel sad and upset just like you would over a real relationship.
Every person will differ when it comes to overcoming heartbreak. Some might be able to deal with their emotions faster than others and there is no reason for you to set a time limit on yourself.
Remember that each heart heals differently and you don't need to force yourself to drown certain emotions just because you don't enjoy feeling them. Grief and heartbreak are part of everyone's lives and the best way to get rid of them is to allow ourselves to feel them.
That being said, here are some ideas and tips on how you can start overcoming your feelings for this person, even though you never actually dated them.
Stop Communicating With That Person
If you want to get over this person quickly, and you know there is no way of you being around them and not continuing to develop feelings, you need to stay away.
The less you communicate with them, the easier it will be for you not to think about them. And yes, this includes staying off of their social media! You need to act as if they are not all that important. The less you care about where they are and what they do, the easier it will be to focus on yourself.
This might be a little tricky to do if you were friends previously but never officially dated. If you feel like you don't want to continue this relationship with them at all in order to overcome your feelings then you should probably start distancing yourself gradually until eventually, you cut ties.
For some people, it might be easy to continue having a friendly relationship with someone they had feelings for. If it is not easy for you, you don't need to explain or try and make sense of why. It is not always easy and you need to put yourself first, especially if staying friends with them gives you hope of something romantic happening between you.
Consider Admitting Your Feelings to Them
On the other hand, if you believe it will make you feel better, you might want to consider letting them know how you feel about them. This will lift a huge burden off your shoulders and you will feel much better afterward.
You should make sure that you approach the topic in a way that won't make them feel uncomfortable, especially if you know in advance that they don't feel the same way. You need to make a point that you don't expect anything from them but you need to let this off your chest.
"Take a risk IRL and ask this person out on a date," Stef Safran, dating expert
If you wish to continue having this person in your life in the future, you want to be honest with them. If you keep it a secret, it is much more likely that your affection for them won't disappear. This can cause friction in the relationship between you and drive you apart in the future.
Sadly, this is an option not everyone will be able to consider, as situations vary. It can help you feel better, see if they might reciprocate your feelings, or help you keep that person as a good friend. You should choose the relationships you wish to keep in your life and if this causes you too much anxiety maybe it is not the best option to choose.