Last Updated 21.10.2022
4 min read

Got an Ex Who’s Orbiting? Here’s How to Deal

Alan Schin (he/him/his) is the Chief Editor at Taimi. He wears several hats daily as a writer, editor, blogger, and content contributor. He began his university studies as a Psychology student but found his passion in Advanced Communication Studies. Alan loves having the opportunity to write and help our content team shine. According to Alan, his education helps him to understand the dynamics behind dating and socialization better. When he isn’t busy with Taimi, Alan works on his first novel, a sci-fi thriller, and creates works of art in his ceramics studio.

Orbiting is an online activity that involves an ex continuing to be involved in your online life, especially your social media accounts. They will continue to like or comment on your posts or photos, even if they were the one that broke things off.

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    This can be unnerving and almost feel like being stalked, and it can keep you from fully moving on if it gives you hope that they are still interested and may come back. If you were the one who broke it off, your ex may be orbiting for several reasons too. Let’s explore why exes may be orbiting and what you can do about it.

    Why Do People Orbit?

    Usually, the reasons relate to who did the breaking up, but not always. Here’s a compilation of the reasons. Maybe you can figure out which is the one for your ex.

    Curiosity About What the Ex is Doing Now

    Sometimes, it’s hard to totally let go. And sometimes, even though the ex did the breaking up, they are still interested in what you are up to. If you think it’s just curiosity, there’s no need to really do anything unless you just don’t want them knowing where you go and what you do. Your choice.

    A Signal That They Still Care

    If they are making comments such as “You look so amazing” or “Wish I had been there,” you can probably assume that your ex still has feelings for you that they are not letting go. Again, if you really want them out of your life, you know what to do. Even though the communication is totally one way, you will want to put an end to it. (and if you don’t, ask yourself why).

    It Can Be a Power Move

    Even if your ex broke up with you, they may still be lingering because they are a bit narcissistic and need to have some semblance of continued control over you. This is an attempt to try to have continued control over your emotions, and remind you that they are still around, watching and tugging at your heartstrings. This can be pretty upsetting.

    It May Be Out of a Hope for Reconciliation

    Whether you or your ex initiated the breakup, keeping up with your social media and reacting to your posts may be a “play” for a second chance. Everyone reacts to a breakup differently, but when the heart can’t let go, orbiting on social media will keep the ex in your mind. If it’s doing just that, you have a choice to make, depending upon how you feel.

    What You Can Do About an Orbiting Ex

    You have several options here, and you may need to do some self-analysis as you consider what you should do.

    You Can Respond to Comments

    This can be a bit risky unless you are hoping for a reconciliation. This is especially true of the ex who wants to continue to keep some power over you. By getting you to respond, they have satisfied their goal.

    Totally Ignore the Likes and Comments

    If you really want it to be over, you can ignore all responses to your posts and hope that your ex will ultimately tire of not getting anything back from you. This could happen, of course, but you may want to think about some other options.

    Use Your Social Media Settings to Block Them

    If you are serious about really cutting things off, then it’s time to block your ex from all of your social media accounts. When you do this, they will also know you have done this, if they try to send messages and stuff. There will no longer be any reminders that you were even once a couple, unless you keep old photos on your accounts. Best to delete those photos too.

    Confront Your Ex Calmly but Forcefully

    You can contact your ex directly and ask that they please stop commenting on your posts. This may work if they don’t have motivations that deal with control, and power, or are not pining for a reconciliation. In most cases, this doesn’t work. 

    Analyze Your Own Behavior

    What are you posting? And why? Ask yourself if you are posting photos and stuff about what you are doing and with whom in order to show your ex that your life has gone on really well or in an effort to make your ex jealous. If you are doing this, stop, it’s a sign that you are still holding feelings for your ex, and you must then decide what your real goal is. If you are holding out hope that your ex may come running back, just because they are still following you, don’t hold your breath. They may have motivations that have nothing to do with getting back together.

    Orbiting is Common

    Yes, it is in this digital world of social media. You have to decide if it bothers you enough to take proactive measures or if just ignoring it is a comfortable position. It’s also important to analyze your own feelings about their orbiting. Identifying the motivations of both the orbiter and yourself will point you in the direction of what you should do.

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