Gay Harness - The Life of the Party

Last Updated 26.02.2022
12 min read

You've probably seen them in gay clubs and parties or during a pride festival. What are gay harnesses, and what do they represent? Are they a fashion statement in the gay community? Who can wear them and how many types are there? Well, here is everything you should know before purchasing a pair or drawing attention to your sexual kinks. 

Post main image

What Is a Harness?

A harness is a BDSM accessory mainly used as a restraint or clothing. They are secured on the body using straps and buckles. While they are primarily used as a prop in bondage sex, the younger gay generation dons them as an ornament. 

There are hundreds of different types and designs of harnesses to suit the different needs of men. Common styles include the H shape, the Bulldog, and the Chest harness. 

These items are made with different materials to suit different situations and usage. They come in leather, latex, fabric, neoprene, and metal. Depending on the make and the brand, harnesses average cost is between $50-150. A gay harness will often come with several O-rings to attach the leads, but some brands might sell them separately. 

Harness in History

For the longest time, people have described gays as naturally feminine. Although this might be true for some people, a significant part of the gay community feels different about the issue. To this end, these men use leather to symbolize their masculinity. It is an integral part of the queer community, so much so that it led to the establishment of leather bars. 

However, homosexuality was legalized in most states in the US, deeming these dens obsolete. Also, thanks to the internet, individuals can now indulge their fetishes in the privacy of their homes. So how did the gay harness linger when the other items ceased to be popular? 

Why a Harness?

A gay harness is often the first fetish gear that every gay dating guy owns, and they are worn to the club, fetish parties, or Pride parades. 

The most essential reason gay people wear a harness is to express their identity. Wearing a black leather harness is a way of expressing their masculine side while distinguishing themselves from other sexual cultures but, there is more.

It is a sexual accessory. Together with the O-rings, a harness attaches the lead to his subject or something he can hold on to. Some will use it as a support item to other bondage gear. 

On gay chat, a lot of gay guys admit they feel turned on by men wearing a harness. They think it's hot and sexy.

Some men use it to gain attention at the party. Most people admit that a harness makes them feel seen. 

A harness allows some to show off their perfect upper bodies. Most will emphasize all the right places, including the chiselled chest and shoulders. 

Although not common, some people put on their black harnesses to appropriate leather fetishism or engagement in sexual kinks. The natural scent is a turn-on for others, and it sparks excitement and sexual aggression.  

Types of Gay Harnesses

Harnesses differ based on the type and the amount of money you're willing to spend on one. The quality of materials used determines the comfort level and how fast a harness wears. 

Picking out a harness might be challenging, given that you'll be wearing one most of the time. If you're picking out your first harness, you might be overwhelmed by the different types available. 

Some of the Most Common Gay Harnesses Include:

· Asymmetrical is the simplest harness to put on or take off, especially for the newbies. This one-shoulder piece can be worn both in and outside. In addition, this particular harness is excellent for those who want to maintain a low profile.

· Bulldog- If you're looking for a piece that highlights your upper body, then this heavy-duty piece should do the trick. This piece is made with thick straps that wrap over the shoulders and under the arms. A solid strap crosses the front, all connected with metal rings. The buckles and snaps are easily adjustable, so you can easily slip them on or off. The heavy-duty rivets hold your piece together regardless of how hard you have pulled around. 

· Butt plug- If you're looking to double down on your sex activities, then this Strict Male Butt plug has a lot to offer. It comes with a 2-inch cock ring and an anal plug pouch for your butt plug. The Anal Plug and Waist harness is adjustable to ensure a comfortable fitting. The butt plug harness ensures your steel plugs remain firmly in place, making it the best option for long-term use.

· Chain harness is the best piece for those looking to be noticed at parties. They are an excellent accessory for flashy gay individuals. These chain pieces are often for the submissive persona, but that doesn't mean they can't be used by the dominant guy. 

· Chest- This classic piece is also known as the X-harness or 4-strap. It frames the pecs, chest, torso, and shoulders and comes with cock rings. Whether you're looking for a hot night at home or a crazy night out, this fetish classic is your go-to option. The adjustable buckles allow you to adjust the tightness to reflect your figure.

· Cock Straps- If kinky is the mood, this cock harness will absolutely deliver. The tight rings help you have and maintain a harder erection for intense orgasms.

· Dildo harness- This adjustable piece can be used with any dildo with a flared base or a suction cup. The back is broad and strong to support more dongs. In some, you can find a small pocket for a bullet vibrator. 

· Full Body- This design covers the upper and lower body. This piece allows for every strap to be used. It is great for fisting porn, so be sure about your torso's measurement for the right fit.

· Gladiator- The difference between this piece and the sea dog harness is the fastening mechanism at the front. It is the best choice if you're trying to b subtle about your kinky side.

· H-harness is one of the most popular harnesses, and the rings are an optional accessory. The front and back sides are often similar, but you can create the X-shape by strapping the right shoulder under the left while the left one goes under the right arm. 

The Y(English) harness can be strapped in a similar manner, but there might be a hoop where all straps are fastened. Since the rings are at the front. You can attach an extra strap to make a cock-strap. Always ensure you check the length of the cock-strap before buying it.

· Leg harness- This piece is designed to pair with other harnesses, but it can hold its own pretty well. The front buckles and snaps allow you to slide it on perfectly on either leg. This piece is easy to pull off regardless of the occasion you're wearing it to. 

· Puppy tail- Make yourself proud by learning a new harness trick. The tail is the extension of a butt plug that you can wag. This piece ensures everything remains firmly in place. In addition, the waistband is made a little higher for a cozy fitting with your pants. 

· Shoulder harness- This has to be the minimalist version of all harnesses. At the front, the straps go over each shoulder, and they are connected to the center ring.

· Suspender harness- This simple harness can go anywhere, with or without clothes. Be imaginative in the way you use the strapping for an explosive experience. 

What Are Harnesses Made of?

Harnesses are available in different materials, styles, and price ranges. Designers understand that harnesses are meant for rough gay games, so they must be comfortable and durable. The material of your favorite harness could be leather, latex, fabric, metal, or spandex.

· Black leather harnesses are easily the most durable since they take time to wear, especially well-cared for. This type of harness is popular because it's adaptable and breathable. In addition, the skin tends to change over years of use, thus giving it a personal touch. Though they tend to be on the costlier side, they are worth every bit.

· Neoprene harnesses are the slimmest, and they sit nicely on the skin. It is also flexible, making it a good option for those unsure of their sizes. Since it is water-proof, you can rock this piece to water-themed events or parties. It is easy to clean and maintain. 

· Rubber harnesses are solid and form-fitting with a little flexibility, but they aren't as breathable as fabric or leather. Although it is water-proof, it has a shorter shelf-life compared to the others. To maximize their life span, ensure they're properly maintained and stored. They are also porous, so remember to clean after every use with soap, water, and a washcloth to prevent the growth of bacteria. These pieces have a strong odor which some people feel is exciting.

· Fabric harnesses- the most popular fabrics include spandex and nylon since they are hygienic and comfortable. Mesh fabric is available in many different colors. These harnesses are well suited for water play, and the lack of leather or metal parts makes it possible to toss them in the wash. These harnesses are ideal if you're constantly on the go since they are light and never set off metal detectors. As a bonus, these pieces are vegan-friendly. 

· Faux leather- This is a substitute for the real thing. It goes by many names such as leatherette, PU, vegan, and pleather. These harnesses are considerably cheap, but they are a good option if you're experimenting with bondage sex. You can search for them online or in sex shops. 

Keeping Clean

Just like your skin, your gay harness will need to be cleaned and oiled each time you use them. To make it easier, use a leather conditioner.

Always wipe down the latex pieces if you don't intend to clean them right away. 

Tips on How to Maintain Your Harnesses 

Store your harnesses in open spaces so they can air out. If possible, ensure the space is well lit. Avoid putting elastic harnesses in hot laundry cycles. 

Always ensure your harnesses are completely dry before putting them away. Wipe off any sweat or oils so you can use them at the next party. 

10 Tips and Hacks for Bondage Harnesses

Choosing a particular style might be tough, but that doesn't mean it's hopeless. To find the best harness, hit the fitting room before buying anything. If you aren't comfortable, there is a high chance that piece isn't for you. 

How to Get it Right

Is it a gay accessory, or are you drawing attention to your kinks? Some harnesses are great for highlighting the body and skin, but some are better for kick-starting a wild night.

Get the measurements right- whether you're buying from a website or a physical business, make sure you know the exact measurements and those of your partners. Opt for a site that offers virtual fitting before making any purchases to be safe.

Harnesses should make you feel good about your build and sexuality, so if you feel less confident in your harness, you might want to try a different style. Bodies differ in shape and size, and a harness should make you proud of yourself. Your gay harness should flatter your physique.

If you're getting a harness for the first time, go for the basic ones. They're a bit easier to find, and you'll have less trouble slipping them on. Search for standard pieces before upgrading your preferences.

Some of the world's best harnesses are made from leather. Not only are they sexy and comfortable, but they will also last longer. Search for elastic harnesses will allow for more movement, and they are easier to alter sizes.

Collect more bondage gear to match your harnesses and intensify the party. Some are sold in sets, while some can be bought as fashion collectibles.

Harnesses in asymmetrical categories tend to be a lot easier to work with. The styles are simple, making it easy to slip them on and off or change the strapping.

If you're often at water parties and similar-themed events, search for neoprene or latex types. Their water-proof features make them a bit hardy compared to other fabrics. Men like to show off the chest and shoulders, so consider a neon-colored piece that glows in the dark.

Watch videos on how other gay men rock their gear. Choose a tutorial site if you're new to this. This will point you towards your preferences, and you can post on your social media. 


Harnesses are prestigious for gay people, and it's only fair to get one yourself. It is a fabulous way of showing off your identity, and you also have something in common with the others. 

What are some of your favorite harnesses, and why? Do you think the rise in popularity is good for the queer community?

Taimi is free to download. Taimi Premium subscription provides access to features unavailable or limited in the free version of the app.

Follow the latest Taimi news on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.

Share this post:
Start Dating Quiz