FWB Meaning

FWB is an abbreviation or initialism that refers to a friends with benefits relationship. Here, we’re going to take a deep dive into what it means to be friends with benefits, how to best handle these situations, and when it’s time to put on the brakes. Of course, anybody with a friend can engage in this kind of casual intimacy, but we’ll be tackling this from a decidedly queer perspective.

What is a Friends With Benefits Relationship

Let’s break this down! Friends is pretty self=explanatory. That’s any him, her, or them that happens to be your pal. It’s the word benefits that needs some clarity. In this case, the benefit is intimacy. Basically, it’s a friendship where both of you agree to engage in spicy time without the complexities or expectations of dating or a romantic relationship.

Why Would Somebody Want a Friends With Benefits Relationship

Why would a person want to take an existing friendship and add intimacy to that platonic relationship? We’ll get into the hurt feelings and other potential downsides in a bit, but here are a few reasons why somebody might want an FWB relationship.

• Your friend is extraordinarily hot
• You want spicy time without is non committal
• You seek connection without a romantic relationship
• Both of you have the same orientation but not a lot of other prospects

If you and your friend are both into an arrangement like this, it can be mutually beneficial to both of you.

How to Handle a Friends With Benefits Situation

There are definitely some best practices when it comes to a friends with benefits relationship. These are things that both people involved should do to avoid drama.

Set Ground Rules

Don’t enter into an FWB arrangement until both of you are on the same friends. Obviously, you both want to be just friends – along with the benefits of intimacy. But, to protect your relationship get on the same page. Feel free to set some ground rules that answer these questions:

• Are you both okay with dating other people?
• How do you feel about kissing or cuddling?
• Are you going to let anyone else know about your relationship?
• Will there be regular get togethers or just when the moment is right?
• What about protection and STI testing?

Get together and answer these questions, and you and your partner will be able to come up with some common sense rules that preserve your relationship along with your feelings. Mutually respectful rules also keep negative emotions to a minimum and help you manage your expectations.

Have an Exit Strategy – This Will Eventually End

One of two things are going to happen here. Most likely one or both of you will move on or just lose interest. FWB doesn’t last forever. The other possibility is that as friends with benefits you’ll both catch feelings and fall in love. That isn’t nearly as likely, but it does occur.

In any case, you need an exit strategy, or else life as you know it will get very complicated. You need to know how you’ll handle it if you decide to call things off, and how you will respond if your friend with benefits wants to go back to an entirely platonic relationship. Remember that you can be honest about your feelings, and it’s okay to feel disappointed. You still need to be respectful in how you close out your fwb relationship or determine how your commitment might escalate to dating.

Check in With Your Partner

You’ll want to have frequent check is during your friends with benefits relationship. This how you ensure that both of you are okay with casual intimacy in your relationship. Remember that if you are actual friends, you can always be open and honest with one another. These conversations can and should happen during moments of intimacy, but also when the two of you are just spending time together. Talk so you both understand where the other is coming from.

Maintain Your Friendship

You are friends with the person before you are casual intimacy partners. That is your first commitment. It’s hurtful when someone you care about acts like a complete stranger when they aren’t engaged in spicy time. Remember to text your friend and make time to just hang out and have fun. You want that connection to be present after you’re no longer friends with benefits.

Be Honest About Your Feelings

Keep your friends with benefits relationship going along smoothly by being honest about your feelings. If anything makes you uncomfortable about the relationship, or you feel like your boundaries aren’t being respected. Say so. Your FWB relationship only works if you and your friend can be honest.

But Managing Your Emotions is All on You

Being honest about your feelings doesn’t mean the other person in the relationship has to do what you want. They still have their own rights to boundaries and to decide how this will work for them. You’re allowed to be sad, angry, disappointed, or even jealous. Just remember that nobody but you is responsible for your feelings or how you choose to behave in light of those. A friends with benefits relationship may end for different reasons. But, the underlying friendship often ends when one of you acts like a butthead. Don’t do your best friend like that.

Talk About Intimacy Boundaries

Your happiness with your friends with benefits relationship depends on understanding and respecting intimacy boundaries. Specifically, how will spicy time work out. Maybe you are down for anything and everything that you might want to explore. That’s great, but your friend may want to keep some acts out of this relationship. For example, kissing may feel too intimate for them. Also, to put it delicately, each of you may have your own unique “appetites”. Our advice is to talk about this, and maybe agree on a safe word. The point is, nobody wants an unexpected surprise.

When to Pursue a Romantic Relationship Instead

Don’t pretend you want a friends with benefits relationship with no strings attached when what you really want is a committed relationship. You’ll just end up disappointed and your friend may become your ex friend. Yes, it’s emotionally risky to put your feelings out there, but it’s so dishonest to pretend you want to be friends with benefits when you really want romance.

Common FWB Problems And How to Solve Them

Here are some things that can happen in an FWB relationship, and what you can do to make things work out for both of you.

They Want Public Displays of Affection

Uh oh! You should have dealt with this when you set your relationship boundaries. Remind them that FWB should always be discreet.

One of You Catches Feelings

It’s time to step back and have that big, uncomfortable conversation. All you can do is hope that both of you can come to an agreement. Just remember that a strong friendship can withstand quite a bit.

They Only Want to Hang When It’s Spicy Time

Be honest that this hurts you. At the same time, be sure that you are taking some initiative and inviting them to do friend stuff too!

Alternatives to FWB

You don’t have to be friends with benefits. You are definitely not alone if you’re worried how that will impact your relationship in the future. No worries, there are other ways to enjoy dating and intimacy without the drama of FWB. You can:

• Use a dating app like Taimi to meet queer folks near you
• Step back from intimacy and work on self-improvement
• Explore the world of casual dating
• Be honest and see if your friend would be interested in evolving your relationship into a romance

Go Forth And Treat Your Friends Kindly

Whether you feel that friends with benefits is for you, or you choose to quench your thirst outside of your social circle, there’s just one important guideline to follow. Be a kind person and a good friend above all. When you show respect and are there to support your bff, anything else can be worked out.