But most of us don’t think of flirty texts as being a pathway to fun activities. This is because it is usually done at a distance and sometimes hours or even days before any in-person dating or fun times happen. And sometimes that contact isn’t even face-to-face. Over the past few years, in fact, lots of dating activity has happened online, and flirty texts can be a great way to get the ball rolling, as a prelude to couples having an online date or getting together in person.
Purposes of Sending Flirty Texts
Flirty texts are a way to use smartphones or even your laptop to tell your potential date how you feel. They are a fun way to get both of you on the same page.
It can keep you in your SO’s mind throughout the times when you are apart, even if that is just during your workdays. A few random flirty texts during the day will do the trick. For longer periods apart, plan on about three a day, one in the morning, one during the day, and one as you go to bed at night.
It can help to build a bit of tension to remind them just how much they should be looking forward to your next date, especially when one explosive night might be on the horizon, whether that is hours or days away and whether that is in person or online and long distance via video.
It can be used to tease a partner. Flirty texts with more than one meaning or photos of yourself looking all cute and ready will serve to both tease and titillate. Get a bit creative here, check out examples of these kinds of texts online, and use what fits your circumstances.
Flirty texts can be used to play games. These are mostly played online when they are one-on-one, but they can serve to let potential partners get to know one another better, to have a few laughs, to tell each other what they like best when it comes to fun adult times, and to let potential partners on dating apps decide if the relationship is worth pursuing.
Some General Tips on Flirty Texts
If you are new to flirty chat or your flirty texts don’t seem to be getting the results you want, take a look at some of these general tips before getting into or back into digital foreplay.
Be Sure Your Naughty Messages are Secure
You need to have privacy protection on your phone – face recognition, a passcode, fingerprint, or all three. Even if you are not trying to hide your flirty texts, do you really want just anyone reading those messages?
If you are talking dirty to more than one person, especially on an online dating app, make sure you check out the security protocols on that app before you begin any kind of texting. And as you register and set up your profile, use only your first name – most apps insist you do that anyway.
Don’t save flirty text messages – read, reply if you want, and then delete them.
Never Send Unsolicited Flirty Text
Now this applies to anyone you aren’t in a relationship with. Obviously, you can send all kinds of flirty texts to your SO or spouse.
Before you talk flirtatiously to someone you are seeing or chatting with, make sure you get their consent first. And begin with mild flirty talk until you see how they are received. You can always get “flirtier” as time goes on, but you can never take back a really explicit flirty message you sent early on and regretted later.
And look carefully at how that consent is worded. If the person simply says, “OK,” it’s not good enough. There needs to be some enthusiasm in the reply, or you better back off. In short, you both should be on the same page about types of content that are okay.
Don’t Come on Too Strong Early in a Relationship
This is a natural extension of the above tip. You may be having all sorts of flirty and erotic thoughts about this new squeeze, but don’t ever assume that this gives you a license to come on really strong, especially with flirty text messages. Let the relationship build for a while, whether you are dating in person or online.
Never Put Your Face in Flirty Texts with Photos
This should be obvious, but you’d be surprised at how many people make this mistake. Think ahead. You may be deep into a relationship that you think will last forever, but life has a way of upending things. When your face is plastered all over the flirty text messages you have sent, you never know where they may end up. Do you really want the whole world to see your flirtiest parts, even your Aunt Sally?
Quality Over Quantity
Blowing up someone’s phone with flirty text messages is not where you want to be. You are coming on too strong, and that will not end well. First of all, so many messages can become an irritation. If you are not receiving responses to those multiple texts, there’s a reason. The receiver may even feel that he is being “stalked” in some way. Back off. Send just a few text messages over a couple of days. If you don’t receive responses, just stop.
Never Send Flirty Text Messages Behind a Partner’s Back
Really? If you do this, you are really pretty much a “dirt bag.” And if you think that you will not eventually be caught, think again. You can’t hide this behavior forever. You have a choice to make. If your partner is truly important to you, then just stop what you are doing. If you don’t, then this is a clear indication that your “cheating” behaviors are more important than your relationship. Be honest and upfront with your partner, so that they have the option to end it.
Don’t Move Out of Your Own Comfort Zone
You may have boundaries for the content of flirty text messages. Good for you. Set those boundaries and stick to them. If someone messages you that goes beyond your boundaries, clearly respond with those boundaries and shut that ish down. If they are still interested and want to respect your boundaries, they will contact you again, complete with apologies and promises to show you the respect you demand. The choice to respond is up to you.
Keep Your Flirty Messages Short
Flirty texts are not meant to be long descriptions and explanations. The shorter the better, in fact. The goal is to keep you in the thoughts of your receiver, not to deliver an essay on what you want to do or to be done to you. Review each message you create and edit it if necessary.
Never Send Flirty Messages While Drunk
There are a couple of problems here. First, you run the risk of texting the wrong person – a big fail and embarrassment once you sober up and realize what you’ve done. The other issue is that you may easily get carried away and send something really offensive to a person you’ve been trying to move into a more serious relationship – again a big fail.
That’s a Wrap
Digital flirting via text is absolutely a thing now. People are separated by distance; people who are in close proximity want to spice up their intimate life; people who want to start up a relationship use texts as a way to get things going. Whatever your situation and whatever your reason for talking flirty via texts, you will find really helpful information here. Take what relates to your situation, use it, and become a superstar with flirty grown up chat.
Share this post:
