Dating Today - Millennials Vs. Gen Z’ers

Published 12.03.2024
4 min read
Taimi

“Entitled youth.” This is how older generations have described millennials and Gen Z’ers, lumping the two generations together. Part of the reason may come from the fact that both of them are so tech-savvy and so entrenched in their devices for almost everything they do.

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But there are some big differences between the two. For one thing, millennials are aging – they are between 28 and 43 now. The oldest Gen Z’er is 27, and the youngest, a mere 13. Millennials were not born with a device in their hands, but Gen Z’ers have been. Millennials already have or are in the process of settling into marriage and kids, while Gen Z’ers are absolutely not ready, nor may many of them ever be.

In terms of dating, both engage in online dating because it is more efficient and certainly less costly than dating a lot of people who are not matches. But the differences between their approaches to dating are very different.

How They Begin Dating

Millennials began to date IRL, having met each other in school, at parties, or through mutual friends. They didn’t begin to use online dating apps until later in life when they became more popular. Gen Z’ers are looking for and finding their dating relationships online, especially hookups and casual dating with no strings attached. For them, most of their social interactions take place on their devices anyway, so why not dating too?

The Phenomenon of the Hookup

Years ago, millennials in college were as interested in the social aspects of campus life as they were in academics – maybe more. And the culture of hookups took hold. Students were having sex indiscriminately and almost like an Olympic sport.

Sociologists and campus administrators had a field day with their anxieties over kids having casual sex without romantic relationships., condemning it and urging students to change their ways.

Gen Z college students have turned this phenomenon into fully acceptable behavior on campuses. No one is getting all anxious about it anymore. And most dating apps they use have hookups as a common option for their users. It’s that mainstream with Gen Z but not so much with millennial users. 

Millennials see hookups as something in their past, something that seems pretty juvenile to them now. Gen Z sees it as a common way of dating life – a way to experiment and explore multiple sexual preferences.

The Concept of a Relationship

Millennials have a pretty common idea of relationships – they are either monogamous or non-monogamous.  But Gen Z’ers see relationships as a multitude of possibilities – varieties of polyamory and forms of ethical non-monogamy.

Interestingly and fortunately, both generations are extremely progressive in their thinking about gender and sexuality, although more Gen Z’ers identify along the LGBTQ+ spectrum.

Approach to Dating

Millennials do date around but tend to settle into a monogamous relationship, especially as they age. Gen Z sees itself as living in an uncertain world and is not so prone to monogamy. They seem to prefer several options and to keep those options open for longer periods of time. Plus, it’s common for them to consider that they may want different types of partners at different stages in their lives. Add to this the fact that Gen Z wants to achieve goals and stability first, they are putting off forming monogamous long-term partnerships. And this appears to be a global trend.

Remember, millennials were subjected to Disney and rom-com movies growing up. They are more likely to be looking for that kind of romance than Gen Z’ers.

What About Ghosting?

For those unfamiliar with the term, ghosting means ending a relationship by just blocking or failing to communicate with someone, ending a dating relationship without any warning. For the practical Gen Z’ers, this seems quite reasonable because it avoids all of the emotional mess and the awkwardness of communicating through a breakup. Millennials see this as rude, disrespectful, and cowardly. For Gen Z’ers, it’s common and normal.

In the End…

Throughout the centuries, people have dated and formed relationships according to societal norms. The 21st century is no different. Millennials and Gen Z’ers demand speed and efficiency – one of the major reasons for the exponential growth of dating apps. But they do approach dating, even on those apps, with different goals, approaches, and concepts.


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