Dating a Demisexual – Not for the Faint of Heart

Last Updated 30.07.2022
2 min read
Taimi

Some people choose to remain virgins until they marry. It is a conscious choice, even though they may feel sexually attracted to others.

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Demisexuality is not a choice – it is a gender-specific identity that demisexuals do not consciously choose. And it is one of those more minor identities that fall within the LGBTQ+ spectrum. If you decide to date a demisexual, there are some real “rules” and parameters that you must be willing to accept. Here is what dating a demisexual will require.

Understand What Demisexuality is (and What It is Not)

First and foremost, demisexuality is a unique gender identity. It is certainly not to be confused with asexuality, a gender that does not want or enjoy sex. Demisexuals must form an emotional/romantic bond with another person before they will experience any sexual attraction.

Now, this isn’t to say they will not have sex without a romantic attachment, but it is safe to say that they will not enjoy it.

Another key point: demisexuality should not be confused with abstention. This is a conscious choice not to engage in sex at all.

If You Want to Date a Demisexual

There’s a long list of tips and advice that will make dating a demisexual successful and that may very well lead to an amazing long-term relationship. 

  1. You need to understand and accept that demisexuals may feel that a sexual relationship is not as important as a romantic relationship. They may prefer affectionate gestures, cuddling, etc. to sex. 

  2. Demisexuals may be sexually attracted to someone they have established an emotional bond with, but this does not mean they always want a long-term relationship

  3. You will need to move slowly and establish a strong bond before you approach sex. Patience is a virtue in these dating relationships

  4. On dates, be affectionate but not sexual

  5. You will need to be attentive and keep lots of lines of communication and conversation open. This is how romantic bonds are formed.

  6. If you are looking for a sexual relationship to develop quickly, move on. A demisexual is not for you no matter how attracted you may be.

Online Dating May Be a Good Start with a Demisexual

Here’s the thing about using an online dating app:

  1. It allows two people to get to know one another in a fully safe environment. 

  2. Through messaging and even video chatting, more than one couple has developed a romantic connection with no sex involved – something a demisexual will value.

  3. This type of communication can promote an emotional bond that a demisexual wants and needs before an actual face-to-face date is set up

No Quick Hookup Awaits You

Dating a demisexual is not for anyone looking for a quick hookup or even casual dating. It is for those who are interested in forming a strong emotional connection with another person and a deeper relationship. It requires patience, commitment, and a willingness to wait. But, in the end, the reward can be big.


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