Demisexuality is not a choice – it is a gender-specific identity that demisexuals do not consciously choose. And it is one of those more minor identities that fall within the LGBTQ+ spectrum. If you decide to date a demisexual, there are some real “rules” and parameters that you must be willing to accept. Here is what dating a demisexual will require.
Understand What Demisexuality is (and What It is Not)
First and foremost, demisexuality is a unique gender identity. It is certainly not to be confused with asexuality, a gender that does not want or enjoy sex. Demisexuals must form an emotional/romantic bond with another person before they will experience any sexual attraction.
Now, this isn’t to say they will not have sex without a romantic attachment, but it is safe to say that they will not enjoy it.
Another key point: demisexuality should not be confused with abstention. This is a conscious choice not to engage in sex at all.
If You Want to Date a Demisexual
There’s a long list of tips and advice that will make dating a demisexual successful and that may very well lead to an amazing long-term relationship.
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You need to understand and accept that demisexuals may feel that a sexual relationship is not as important as a romantic relationship. They may prefer affectionate gestures, cuddling, etc. to sex.
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Demisexuals may be sexually attracted to someone they have established an emotional bond with, but this does not mean they always want a long-term relationship
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You will need to move slowly and establish a strong bond before you approach sex. Patience is a virtue in these dating relationships
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On dates, be affectionate but not sexual
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You will need to be attentive and keep lots of lines of communication and conversation open. This is how romantic bonds are formed.
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If you are looking for a sexual relationship to develop quickly, move on, a demisexual is not for you no matter how attracted you may be.
Online Dating May Be a Good Start with a Demisexual
Here’s the thing about using an online dating app:
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It allows two people to get to know one another in a fully safe environment.
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Through messaging and even video chatting, more than one couple has developed a romantic connection with no sex involved – something a demisexual will value.
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This type of communication can promote an emotional bond that a demisexual wants and needs before an actual face-to-face date is set up
No Quick Hookup Awaits You
Dating a demisexual is not for anyone looking for a quick hookup or even casual dating. It is for those who are interested in forming a strong emotional connection with another person and a deeper relationship. It requires patience, commitment, and a willingness to wait. But, in the end, the reward can be big.