What are some of the most common boundaries for polyamorous relationships, and how do they help people in multiple relationships maintain a healthy relationship with their other partners and their partner’s partners?
Well, whether you enjoy monogamous relationships and you’re just curious, or if you’re in an open relationship and looking to improve your own relationship, we’ve got everything you need to know about polyamorous relationships and some of the rules you might encounter.
Let’s find out how you can expand from your primary relationship with your primary partner to romantic relationships that complement your existing relationship beautifully. Why live life with one partner when you can be romantically involved with more than one person in ethical non monogamy?
What Are Polyamorous Relationships?
Sometimes known as ethical non monogamy, poly people, or polyamorous people are in polyamorous relationships with other partners outside of their existing relationship.
Sometimes these are just romantic relationships, some have a sexual interest, and some involve more than one person, where all the people involved are sharing romantic connections. You can be a single person who joins fellow polyamorous people in a relationship, or you can be two or more people who invite a new person to spend time building a romantic connection with more than one person.
You’ll find both primary and tertiary partners exist, and there’s also such a thing as throuples. Unlike monogamous relationships, polyamorous relationships will have lots of other partners and the partners may or may not interact with their partner’s partners.
You will also hear about hierarchical polyamory, which is another style where certain people expect and come to an agreement on certain levels of commitment or how they treat people in the relationship. Of course, the most important thing throughout this is honesty and everyone staying in the relationship through their own free will.
Polyamorous vs Open Relationships
An open relationship is different to polyamorous relationships as open relationships allow you to set ground rules and start spending time with new partners. A person may have lots of partners and share a whole sex life and love life with these partners, whilst the person they’re originally with never meets them. This is not considered cheating if everyone involved stays within the set boundaries.
Of course, going outside of the set boundaries in a polyamorous relationship is also considered cheating. Sometimes in a polyamorous relationship, the people involved in the relationship might have sex with each other, share aspects of life together, or be friends. There is no wrong way to be in a poly relationship as long as everyone feels safe and respects the boundaries in agreement.
Common Rules to Respect Your Partner’s Partners
To be honest, there are no set rules for how you date or treat people in a polyamorous relationship. The whole point is that you are honest with the people you have an interest in and take the responsibility to talk to each other about the rules. If you feel like you cannot talk about rules or the life you want to live with the people you have an interest in dating, then perhaps you’re not all on the same page enough to be in a polyamorous relationship together.
Let’s explore some common ground rules you might share with partners in a polyamorous relationship. Everything from getting to know partner’s partners to how your polyamorous relationship will be different to a monogamous relationship.
Going From One Partner to Two
If you started out in a monogamous relationship, then taking the plunge into a polyamorous relationship might feel like a scary thing. Well, one exception to this is if you have experience in poly relationships previously!
To preserve everyone’s well being and have respect for both the primary person and the new partner, you must give examples of rules and take the responsibility to talk about everything from safe sex to what you feel would be cheating.
If you don’t feel ready to date or feel wrong being involved with another person, then you need to take the time to talk about these feelings with your partner. If you have open minded friends, then you can chat to them; however, it is best to be honest with your partner and treat the big talks as a way of putting up boundaries whilst showing you’re not afraid to respect the rules.
First Date Etiquette
A massive hurdle in any relationship is how you handle a first meeting with a potential next partner. If your partner is involved, maybe you’ll meet the new person together, but if the relationship is just for you, then it can be good to lay out some rules before you start dating.
You can put rules in place for just about any boundary that you might not want crossed. Obviously, sex is the biggest thing with rules surrounding it, but you might even involve kissing, locations, and who you introduce a new mate to.
Having Safe Sex
By far the hardest rule to discuss is how you handle sex with any partner in the relationship. Chat to your primary partner or all the partners within your relationship to see how you want to handle this.
Some relationships stop at oral sex, whereas others only allow fluid exchange between partners. Don’t be afraid to get quite graphic with rules surrounding sex to avoid anyone crossing any lines with partners outside of the relationship by accident.
So many things have different meanings to different people, so really clarify with every partner in the relationship to make sure every single person is truly comfortable. Regular check ins within the relationship with every partner individually, but also with all partners together, can be so incredibly useful, especially when bringing in more people to the relationship.
Jealousy Towards Other Partners
If you’re already having relationship issues, then adding one person to the relationship is not fixing anything. In both monogamous relationships and polyamorous relationships, you’ll feel jealousy; however, when you actually meet your partner’s partners, it can feel a lot more intense.
No one person can solve these feelings, so it is an absolute must to chat through your feelings and give examples to your partner. If you’re afraid to talk to them about how you feel, try putting your words into a letter.
The first time you talk about how you feel will be the most difficult. Once you have lived the poly life for longer and been involved with more people, it will get easier to talk about these things.
Taimi Wins for Finding a Healthy Relationship With Multiple Romantic Relationships
Make sense of new relationships with Taimi! Whether you want casual sex, someone who shares your interests, or the person who will be your partner for life, Taimi has something for everyone!
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