Caspering: The Friendly Ghost or a Committed Relationship?
Named after the friendly ghost, caspering is one term that has stuck for the art of changing the direction of a relationship in a way that requires a little more effort and conversation than ghosting, but honestly, not much more.
If you hear someone talking about caspering or worse, feel your most recent connection start disappearing out the door, try not to take it personally. This subtle breakup approach is actually done with the intention of not hurting any of the parties involved.
This article will explore caspering, what the point of caspering is, and how this vague disappearing act can actually do you a big favour in the long run!
A Better Choice to Protect Emotional Well Being
Allegedly, caspering is a friendly alternative to ceasing contact in the usual way of just ghosting, but is it the best way to avoid emotional damage for both parties? Or does being on the receiving end of caspering feel pretty rubbish?
With caspering, you’ll find your person starts the gradual weaning process quite a while before the relationship ends. You’ll notice communication slows or communication is a little less hopeful when the idea of a future together is ever mentioned.
Eventually, this behavior does one of two things. The behavior either creates a person who eventually has enough of the person doing the ghosting and leaves, or the one doing less and less talking leaves with no words, no explanation, and you’re left dealing with a lot of confusion.
Would a few messages explaining that whoever you’re involved with has had enough of the relationship be better? In all honesty, yes! If you’re involved with someone and you feel like caspering is the nicer alternative to ghosting, it really isn’t. Instead of disappearing, contact them with respect and use your words to end the relationship with the person.
Looking After Your Self Esteem
When you are experiencing caspering from the person you’re in a relationship with, it can really take a toll on your self esteem. You may start to lose hope as the communication turns less and less respectful, messages slow down, and contact treads that line between ghosting and caspering as if it makes the whole thing okay.
The reality is, this lack of respect and, for some people, the content of the messages sent by whoever is doing the caspering or ghosting can really ruin your self image. Imagine the person you thought loves and respects you no matter what starts to show signs they no longer love you, with zero warning. It can be tough.
Of course, post caspering or ghosting, you might sense that the signs were all there, and you can pinpoint where all respect was lost for the relationship with that person. If this is the case, look out for the signs of ghosting or caspering in the next person you’re in a relationship with. Obviously, if you detect that you’re judging a person or relationship entirely on a previous one, it would be sensible to invest in some therapy, but there’s no reason why the person doing the caspering or ghosting can’t be a good lesson for you!
Getting on the Same Page
Just to be clear, whether you’re ghosting or caspering, it’s really rubbish behavior towards any person. Just check out Reddit threads on ghosting, and you’ll find so many posts discussing how much ghosting has hurt people. If you fancy ghosting, just don’t do it.
Instead, get on the same page as the other person. Ghosting is absolutely the coward’s approach to ending things, and let’s be honest, there’s no reason for it these days. Pick up the phone and give them a call, send a text, or even an email. Just don’t start ghosting people.
If you start to detect cracks in a relationship you think is potentially worth saving, have that difficult chat with your partner. Just know that there is really never an excuse for ghosting or even worse, ghosting and then crawling back to someone because you realise the grass isn’t always greener!
Tired of Caspering? Give Taimi a Try!
Sick of caspering or worse, full on ghosting? Give Taimi a go. If you’re looking for people who are potential partners that won’t give up the ghost after a few months, Taimi is a brilliant choice. You’ll find your person who lets you know if they’re no longer interested in honest communication, or if you’re lucky, like most people on Taimi, you’ll find hope and a new future with someone you want to lead a life with.
Try dating with Taimi and discover an honest relationship you can rely on where the connection is as strong as the beginning for good.
