While many in the LGBTQ+ community have a firm identity and label, many do not. And even among heterosexuals, there may be the same types of people – those who are firmly straight and those who may be questioning their sexuality.
Within all of this mix are the bi-curious. These are people who identify under one label – hetero, lesbian, or gay usually – but who are questioning whether they might be attracted to those of another gender identity. Are you bi-curious? And, if you are, what can you do about it?
The “Q” in LGBTQ does not just mean “queer.” It also means “questioning.” And if you think you are bi-curious, this “Q” is for you.
Many claim that bi-curiosity is not a legitimate label, but do not be pressured into accepting a label that others may try to pin on you. You are not bi-sexual, for example, you are questioning your sexuality. And you can keep that label for as long as you wish.
You can explore as much as you wish – it’s your right. Here’s how to do that.
Join some LGBTQ+ dating apps and set up a profile, identifying yourself as bi-curious and stating your preferences for mutuals. If bi-curious is not an option of the shown preferences, be certain that you include it in that profile. Start swiping to accept or reject mutuals that you get. When you find those that grab your interest, start connecting and communicating. Analyze your feelings as you do this. Are you feeling any sexual or romantic attractions? If so, move forward. Digital dating can reveal a lot about your leanings. Once you have identified that you are leaning toward someone, hooking up for a live date or two will certainly help you solidify your feelings about that person and their gender.
Get social in your own locale. If you have always been hetero, for example, go to gay bars and hang out. Strike up conversations with gays, lesbians, or bi’s, whichever gender you have found yourself attracted to at the moment. You may very well find someone you want to try dating as a part of your exploration.
Join chat rooms of other bi-sexuals for support. Join chat rooms of the gender you are exploring and hook up online. You never know where this may lead.
Being bi-curious can relate to sexual attraction, romantic attraction, or both. As you explore those of opposite genders, analyze what you feel. This will help you to narrow what type of bi-curiosity you have, and that will be important as you move forward. Are you only sexually attracted to the opposite gender? Then you will probably only want to pursue those types of relationships. Or, do you feel romantic attachments toward that opposite gender? In this case, you may need to explore the possibility that you might be looking for a longer-term relationship. Don’t feel pressured to do all of this quickly.
Bi-curiosity has no timeline. And, in fact, you can be bi-curious forever. Don’t let others pressure you to declare an identity, and certainly don’t pressure yourself to do that either.
We live in a wonderful age of sexual liberation. And this liberation allows complete flexibility in dating exploration and behaviors. Young people today are committed to equality, justice, and full tolerance for all lifestyles, and that includes you.
If you have always had a set gender identity as straight, lesbian, or gay, moving out of that identity, if only out of curiosity, is something to be celebrated, not hidden. So be comfortable with your curiosity until you figure it out - or not.
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