Last Updated 17.02.2023
3 min read

Are You a Pomosexual? Good For You!

Alan Schin (he/him/his) is the Chief Editor at Taimi. He wears several hats daily as a writer, editor, blogger, and content contributor. He began his university studies as a Psychology student but found his passion in Advanced Communication Studies. Alan loves having the opportunity to write and help our content team shine. According to Alan, his education helps him to understand the dynamics behind dating and socialization better. When he isn’t busy with Taimi, Alan works on his first novel, a sci-fi thriller, and creates works of art in his ceramics studio.

Pomosexual. Here’s a term that is not well known. Some define it as being post-modernism sexual. That is, someone who denies and/or avoids all of the common gender identities within the LGBTQ+ spectrum.

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    And they refuse to be labeled by any of these common identities. While they may not have a place on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, they are certainly within the part of that community that is questioning the “standard” labels. So, how does all of this fit into their dating and relationship status?

    Living And Dating as a Pomosexual

    From the perspective of others, a pomosexual can be any sexual orientation or none at all. However, if you asked a pomosexual how they identify, they would most likely shrug off the notion of labeling themselves.

    Because they don’t conform to standard labels, pomosexuals feel fewer dating constraints. They may enter into any variety of dating relationships. However, they aren’t confined to those. A pomosexual truly embraces sexual fluidity for themselves and their partners.

    As a group, pomosexuals are quite open to exploring various relationships and forms of sexual expression. They also tend to support others in this. This may include kinks and open relationships.

    Being in a Dating Relationship With a Pomosexual

    What is it like to date a pomosexual? Let’s talk about you first! You may identify as a specific gender identity or not. Most pomosexuals are quite open to dating anybody on the gender spectrum. Also, you don’t have to identify as pomosexual to date one. It’s fine if you identify as gay, straight, or anything else.

    Don’t Pressure Pomosexuals to Lock Themselves Into an Identity

    Avoid asking a pomosexual how they identify or to name their orientation. At best, they may think the notion of that is weird and silly. At worst, they will be offended and put off. Remember that the decision to consciously reject labels is very personal and tied to the person’s belief systems.

    Commitment And The Pomosexual

    Some people believe that pomosexuals are commitment-phobic. That’s pretty reductivist. Many do feel a sense of commitment and have committed relationships. The difference is that they may not tie sexual behavior and exploration to commitment. That said, it is possible for a pomosexual to agree to monogamy if they are motivated to maintain a relationship and that is what their partner needs.

    Bottom line: Ask, communicate, and agree. If you don’t have these conversations, then have fun while it lasts. The relationship may be very temporary.

    The Challenges of Being Pomosexual

    If you are pomosexual you aren’t straight. However, there is also no clear place for you on the LGBTQ spectrum. Additionally, others may be dismissive of your identity. They may view it as a phase or experimentation. You may be told that you will eventually choose an identity. Currently, pomosexuality receives very little validation.

    Acceptance of Pomosexuality - It’s Inevitable

    Sexual fluidity is a real thing. It isn’t a trend or something that was invented by younger generations. It’s always existed. The difference now is that new generations are open about it. They talk about evolving sexual feelings. They openly date people with different gender identities and sexual preferences. Behaviors and conversations that were once seen as part of a sexual fringe are now mainstream. That’s a good thing!

    Because sexual fluidity is more accepted, pomosexuality is also gaining acceptance. People who identify in this way can date, form relationships, and experiment in ways that work for them. However, it is important to remember that sexual fluidity can be temporary or permanent. Pomosexuals are unique because they see their fluidity as a permanent identity. That’s just fine.

    Pomosexuality is a Valid And Authentic Identity

    Emerging sexualities aren’t silly or “woke”. They reflect a growing vocabulary that is happening because people are developing a stronger understanding of who they are. Naturally, they seek out words and phrases to accurately describe themselves. For many people that word is pomosexuality.

    If you think this word applies to you, embrace it! You have the right to be and do anything you want to enjoy a happy and fulfilling dating and sex life.

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