A Guide to Flirty Texting as a Transgender Person

If you enjoy flirtiness and pleasure, spicy or flirty texting is an arousing activity that gives us that privilege without geographical barriers. Flirty texting is a medium where you can talk about physical pleasure with someone you like. You get turned on, and you get a chance to explore new and different intimate behaviors. Plus, you can share what excites you both already.

Intimate Activity for Everyone

There’s nothing wrong with using your phone for flirting or other intimate interactions. If anything, it’s meant to keep you in touch with people you love and give you unlimited access to people you would want to date or have romantic interactions with. The prevalence of mobile devices nowadays makes this kind of flirty texting more accessible than ever.

Whether you’re still exploring your identity/orientation or living openly as transgender, gay, bisexual, or lesbian, flirty texting allows you an intimate and low-pressure way to interact with potential partners and see what you enjoy. Sending spicy or flirty messages by text is the perfect blend of fantasy and experimentation in a much safer environment. This would explain why people in the queer community tend to use texting, especially in the early parts of a relationship. In addition, these young adults tend to use texting to flirt more than other demographics.

A Form of Intimate Communication

For trans people, online dating might slightly differ from their heterosexual counterparts. However, that does not take away any of the fun from it. With flirty or spicy texting, you may not have to worry about STIs or birth control, but with this decreased risk there are some safety precautions you might consider, especially as someone who is transgender.

It is easy to get excited and want to jump right into texting, especially with someone you really like. Slow down. First, what exactly is flirty texting, and how do you go about it? Is it exchanging alluring photos? Does it involve sending long explicit paragraphs? Do you have to know all the playful emojis for a great experience?

What Exactly is Spicy or Flirty Texting?

This is an intimate activity that involves using a phone (usually) or other device to share flirty or spicy materials with another person. It might be images, gifts, memes, texts, voice notes, or emails. If it is flirty, spicy, and shared digitally, it counts!

Next question, what makes some people especially good at flirty texting? First, be authentic. That’s more important than mastering the perfect camera angles. Be honest about your turn-ons. Part of this is finding out whether you are compatible with the other person. You won’t connect with the right people if you aren’t honest about what you really like. 

Can People in a Relationship Do This?

This is an important discussion that most people get stuck at. Simply put, it is okay for anyone in a relationship to send flirty texts. However, everyone needs to be on the same page about this. This involves trust and confidentiality in your partner and respect for defined personal boundaries. If you’re going to send these kinds of texts with someone, they must respect your privacy.

They should not share any of the material with other people without your consent, even if you break up. In addition, you should both be into the idea of this, and nobody should force you into anything you’re uncomfortable with. If someone is negligent of your boundaries, then they are not a trustworthy person to send these kinds of texts to. Be wary of people like this in general, they can’t be trusted. If you want to do this while you are working, don’t. It’s a bad idea. Also, don’t send these kinds of texts using any device that your IT or HR department can access.

According to studies, trans people are more likely than cisgender folks to engage in this kind of texting. Perhaps, this is a way to determine whether a potential partner is safe and affirming before agreeing to meet in person or take things to the next level. People who are not in committed relationships are more likely to flirt and spice things up via text than those who are.

Getting Started – A Perfect Template

When it comes to spicy texting behaviors and tips, there’s always something you could learn from the internet, if not from your partner. However, most tips, guidelines, and associations are meant for a hetero audience, which sidelines the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender experiences.

Nevertheless, there are several basics that apply when spicy texting to ensure everyone practices safe and consensual behaviors. This helps to maintain the flirty and fun aspect of this activity. So before you start crafting the perfect intimate text, here are a few things you should keep in mind.

1. Always Seek Consent

You’ve probably heard this a thousand times. Still, consent is the foundation of any healthy, stable, and happy relationship, regardless of gender. Asking for consent is a respectful behavior that ensures both partners are okay with sending and receiving intimate or adult-oriented texts from each other. No matter the prevalence of this activity, no one should be pressured into anything, regardless of the type of relationship they are in. Disregarding non-consent is toxic and manipulative behavior, which is a sign that you shouldn’t be with them anyway, let alone texting them. Don’t let your behavior be a source of trauma or get you exposed as a creep!

Please note that consent is not an all-time free pass. In fact, make sure to ask for your partner’s consent each time you want to send something explicit their way. Such considerate behavior allows your partner to work without disruptions, and they can say no when they are not in the right mental space for this.

Like any intimate activity, an individual is liable to change their consent about this at any time. If you are uncertain about what your partner feels about certain behaviors and requests while texting, you can ask them. A consent discussion about intimacy doesn’t have to be a yes/no conversation. While interacting like this might work for some people, there are other interesting ways you could go about it. A little flirting will indicate whether they are into the idea or not. Shoot them a mildly flirty text and see how they respond to you.

2. Discuss Your Boundaries

You must have parameters of what is acceptable and what’s not, no matter the prevalence of naughty texting. This includes what you’re willing to talk about, the media you’re willing to share, and what happens to the conversations afterward. You and the person you are messaging have a lot of responsibilities towards one another. This is especially important to gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender individuals who require more discretion than most. Crossing these boundaries can lead to trauma or even put that person in a dangerous position.

In addition, the consent discussion allows you to agree on a safe and suitable platform for interacting. There is a prevalence of dating apps out there, but you’d be wise to go for a secure app that doesn’t upload your media on your cloud/drive and should have a secure privacy policy. Privacy is important for all, but for transgender people and women, the risk of exposure can be devastating. 

3. Clarify Your Intentions

Before you start with sending those spicy texts, you must make your intentions clear. Are you just looking to kill some time, or are you looking for something more? This is a very intimate behavior so trust and communication are key. Being clear about your needs ensures that the things remain consensual, fun, and no cause for disappointment or upset for anyone involved.

4. Double-Check Before You Hit Send

The easiest way to swirl into anxiety and depression is to send a naughty text to the wrong person. As such, it is wise to turn off the auto-download feature on your device unless you want your very explicit photos uploaded to the family album and your naughty behavior exposed.

A Flirty Adventure

Here are several examples of flirting behaviors you could use;

1. Send Previews

This is a great flirty behavior that helps build up excitement before a date, especially for long-distance relationships. Describe in explicit detail what they should expect when you meet. This strategy is best suited for couples seeking to spice their relationship.

2. Send a Special Request

It can be hard to talk about what you like in-person. Sometimes, it’s easier to open up via text. If there’s a spicy activity you’d like to try, let your partner know via text. You can also let them know the kind of images or texts you’d like to receive from them.

3. Describe Your Fantasies

This is a great medium for exploring fantasies or roleplaying. If you are both open people who can discuss anything, this serves as erotic fodder for your conversations. You don’t have to reveal all your deepest fantasies if you don’t want to.

4. Shoot them a Flirty, Teasing Text

This kind of texting is best suited for long-distance couples who want to retain the steamy nature of their relationship. Not only does it amp their excitement, but it also helps to fight the depression that most long-distance partners have to deal with. In addition, flirty texts are a fun and effective way to get people excited for the main event. These texts could go anywhere from simple teases to full-on descriptions.

5. Share Memories from a Passionate Night

Bringing up your raunchiest memories is a great way to get the ball rolling and strengthen your intimacy. Such a discussion allows you to recreate memories while building relationship continuity. If your relationship dynamic allows it, 

6. Flirty Compliments

Take this opportunity to shower your partner with praise about how good they are in bed or how physically attractive they are when texting. In this case, compliments reinforce factual stuff about them and their performance to your advantage.

Conclusion

Flirty and spicy texting is a world with so many associations that we can never fully explore, and our tips are a guide to get you started. As you get more comfortable with yourself, your partner, and the idea of spicy texting, sending an explicit photo or a text will become much easier. As your confidence grows, don’t be afraid to explore what you and your partner really like!