Last Updated 03.04.2022
14 min read

14 Signs You Are Unofficially Dating

Alan Schin (he/him/his) is the Chief Editor at Taimi. He wears several hats daily as a writer, editor, blogger, and content contributor. He began his university studies as a Psychology student but found his passion in Advanced Communication Studies. Alan loves having the opportunity to write and help our content team shine. According to Alan, his education helps him to understand the dynamics behind dating and socialization better. When he isn’t busy with Taimi, Alan works on his first novel, a sci-fi thriller, and creates works of art in his ceramics studio.

In our day and time, unofficially dating situations are always possible and you might truly not know how to approach them. As people struggle to commit more and more, you might find yourself wondering whether this is leading anywhere or not.

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    If you are trying to read the signs and figure out the status of your relationship with that special someone, look no further. Here are 10 signs you are unofficially dating, even if they don't want to admit it.

    How to Have the DTR Talk?

    One of the things you should know about when it comes to understanding the conditions of any relationship is that people are scared of commitment for a reason. Whether that is due to past traumatic experiences or their need to hold onto their freedom, there is always a time when you should have the important talk with them.

    The DTR talk stands for Define The Relationship talk and is necessary when you need to know whether you should put more of yourself into this relationship or not. While there is a big part of the relationship expert community that suggests that you avoid defining your relationship status altogether, there comes a time when you just need to know.

    Taking the risk of breaking up something that makes you happy is always there, but this depends solely on how you wish to continue your relationship with this person. If you are on an unofficial dating, you can grow tired of having to avoid talking about this topic, especially if some months pass.

    The best piece of advice is to listen to your heart and speak to them when you feel like you need to. Surely, you can follow the advice that suggests that you wait an x amount of months or not at all. But if this continues to bother you, you should definitely bring it up.

    A real relationship should be based on quality communication and you can always wait a few weeks before you mention anything in particular, just to see how things go. The point is to feel safe in the fact that you can express what you feel towards the other person without having to worry if you will lose them.

    This is the only way for you to truly trust the other person and know whether it is safe for you to share more of yourself with them. Therefore, you can discuss this with them and ask them how they feel about labels, and how else they would like to define the relationship. At the end of the day, not every dating experience will lead to true love and it is better to be on the same page rather than pretend you are not as attached.

    β€œWe make the journey back to extraordinary love much more difficult for ourselves when we jump back in too quickly. It creates emotional chaos instead of the escape from pain we were hoping for.” ― Relationship Coach Staci A. Welch-Bartley

    You Call and Text Each Other a Lot

    If the first thing you and they do every morning and night is to text you, then you know you have a good thing going. It means so much when the first thing they think about every morning is you.

    If you keep noticing that this happens more and more and comes to both of you naturally, it is definitely a sign that you are on the same page about the relationship.

    You are Able to Communicate Openly

    Another very important and very clear sign is that you have no problems communicating what you want and need between you. This shows that you don't mind being vulnerable with the other person and you trust them.

    If something bothers you and you are able to express it without the other person taking it the wrong way, you are definitely in a relationship. People who don't care about being with you, in the long run, won't care much about your emotional wellbeing.

    You are Always Spending Time Together

    When you are in the first stages of dating someone, you always want to spend more time with them and prefer their company over other events. This is normal and can help the two of you bond and spend more time learning about one another.

    Picture this. It's Saturday night, your friends are planning to go out but the only thing you want to do is spend time with that special someone, stay in and watch cheezy movies? Not only that, but they also prefer to do the same? Then yes, you definitely are unofficially dating.

    Choosing to spend time with the other person over any other event is always a sign of a real relationship. This means that you make each other happy and can have fun in each other's company.

    You Have Met Their Friends or Family Members

    One of the things that definitely make you more than just a friend is having met each other's friends and family members. Not everyone will come this close to the people most important in someone's life and this is also a great indicator for long-term relationships.

    This means essentially that they consider you important enough to introduce you to people they care about the most. Look out for hints in these situations, like whether their close friends seem to know a lot about you.

    These are some immediate signs you are unofficially dating and mean that your person took the time to talk in detail about you to their close friends and family.

    They Prioritize Seeing You Despite Being Busy

    In our day and time, everybody leads a busy life. They will have a commitment to their jobs, other family members, and every week might be very stressful and tiring. Something that can make you feel comfortable in a relationship and help you understand you are finally dating is how much of a priority you are in their everyday life.

    If the person you are seeing always makes time to see you and be with you, despite their super busy schedule, you are definitely in a relationship. Even if they feel anxious about their everyday life, they share details about work with you and want to spend their free time just being around you. This is how you know they really put you first and it basically means you are dating.

    You Rely on Them for Support

    When you get bad news or good news, are they the first person you want to share them with and look for support? If you have noticed that this exact situation has happened between the two of you, then you are definitely in a relationship.

    Sharing your feelings during a happy or even a difficult time and not being scared to be vulnerable is very important. It can show that you have a true connection and that the other person understands and supports you.

    This is a definitive sign that your current situation is more than just a fling. It is important to feel safe about expressing and sharing your happy moments with the person that means the world to you and you would expect them to do the same with their happy and also sad moments.

    You Have Secret Pet Names Only You Two Know

    Something else that is very special and can show you that you are in an unofficial dating situation is having pet names for one another. Depending on the different points of the relationship, these can change and become more or less serious. They don't necessarily have to be cutesy or be super creative, they just have to mean something between you.

    This gives a sense of closeness to the couple and can leave people to wonder what they mean when they are more creative. They are very frequently used between partners to show affection and can make your current relationship a lot more special.

    They Have Been Jealous Before

    Even if the person you're dating is not the jealous type but you have seen them get jealous over you talking to other men or women, this can be a sign you shouldn't miss that they are seriously interested in you. When a relationship has no label, and you haven't talked about exclusively being with one another, it can happen that you talk to other people too.

    When they show jealousy over this matter, it might be a good time to talk about the situation you are in. Why would they feel this way if they don't want to talk about being exclusive with you? Romantic relationships often start being official through these situations, because they help people understand just how much they care about someone.

    If they want to be more than just a friend with you, they will not want to think about losing you to someone else just because they didn't label the relationship. This is a clear sign you are unofficially dating and it is about time you talk about things and see how you will proceed for the foreseeable future.

    You Discuss Issues Instead of Fighting

    Communication is the number one thing that can differentiate a fling from an actual romantic relationship that has a future. You always need to put effort into expressing your feelings, setting clear boundaries and expectations, and showing your commitment through validating your feelings.

    All couples fight, some even fight during the initial stages of the relationship where everything is supposed to be breezy and full of happiness. The way couples go through their fights can say a lot about the status of the relationship and how long it is going to last. These are all signs you shouldn't ignore and can define whether you are unofficially dating or not.

    If a fight leads to a conversation where both parties express their feelings and how they would like to work on this issue, this is definitely a relationship. In fact, this could easily lead to a long-term relationship that can deal with many hardships.

    Love is so much more than fancy dinners and good sex. It is all about knowing when to put your anger aside, listen to their concerns, and turn arguments into productive discussions.

    While usually women are considered better at expressing these feelings during fights, it doesn't mean that men can't also do the same. In fact, most same-sex relationships have better communication and gay men have an easier time showing their partner they matter to them.

    You Go to Social Events Together

    Another defining thing that shows you that you have gone from dating into a relationship is showing up to social events together. This is especially important when they take the time to introduce you to people they know or when the event you are attending has people you both know.

    Whether your partner has invited you to a place last minute or you were planning this for some time, you both know you will be seen together and considered a couple. This means that you are both on the same levels and are comfortable being together.

    All it takes is making things official with your partner and seeing where you go from there.

    You Feel Comfortable and Safe During Sex

    Something else that defines serious relationships from flings is the way you approach your sexual relationship. At the beginning of dating someone new, everything is fun and exciting and sex is just fun. After some time, you start to know each other's bodies and what they like and this is where a lot of things change.

    At this stage, you start to see things differently and feel comfortable with trying new things with them knowing they will respect your body and your limits. When your communication in the bedroom is as good as in your everyday life, you know you are unofficially dating and are just a couple of steps away from making things more official.

    People Keep Asking if You're a Couple

    When that moment comes, it might feel a little awkward or it might feel safe. People who see you together a lot are bound to start asking questions, and it is more common for people you both know to ask you, especially if you have dropped them a hint about it.

    While you should not always take what other people say at face value, it is a good thing when people who see you together view you as a couple. This can speak volumes about how comfortable you are with each other and the chemistry between you.

    Depending on how your partner answers in this situation, you can use it as one of the signs to see if they are honest about the way they feel towards you. If they avoid answering without necessarily having to say you are or aren't a couple, you two are probably in a relationship, without having to say much else about it.

    You are Talking About Your Future Plans

    One of the signs you are unofficially dating is linked to catching yourselves during any talk about the future. Whether you want to put labels on a relationship or not, the connection between you is undeniable if you see yourselves growing together as partners.

    After handling difficult love situations and facing rejection or heartbreak, people might not want to express their love in fear of putting effort into something that won't last. Most of the time, they are worried you're not on the same page as them and the only thing it takes is being honest about how you see your future together.

    If you have common goals and expect the same things from your future then you are most definitely more than dating and more than friends. Your future goals and plans are intimate details about one's self that are not always shared with others.

    When a person you are dating and cares about that much puts in the time and shows you they see you as part of their long-term plans, you should take this as a wake-up call to talk to them openly about the status of your relationship.

    You Help Each Other Grow

    Last but not least, another part of knowing the person you are seeing is in it not just for the dating relationship, is when they care about helping you grow. This can be explained in a few different ways, but the most common one to understand is when they support you in going after your dreams.

    When someone wants to grow with you, they will support you in pursuing your ambitions and will have your back when you feel like you're not doing enough. While friends might offer you that support, the person you are dating will become a true partner when they show they believe in you and will support you in every decision.

    The same goes for you. When you find yourself wanting the best for this person and wanting to be there to support them whenever they face something new, then you know this is more than simply dating someone.

    Understanding Your Relationship Despite the Lack of Labels

    In these final thoughts, it is important to remember that sometimes, people come out of toxic and difficult relationships feeling drained and anxious about starting the next good thing. A lack of labels isn't always a bad thing and can make some people feel more comfortable until they understand they are in a committed relationship.

    If your situation checks most of the boxes mentioned previously, it might be time to discuss where this is going with your partner. If you truly feel loved and happy, you should not be scared to ask them straight up in a conversation. Chances are, they have the same thoughts and just didn't know how to approach you about it.


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